Джеймс Фенимор Купер - The Two Admirals

“I am sorry not to be able to agree with you, Dick,” he said, with some warmth. “So far from thinking you well treated, by any ministry, these twenty years, I think you have been very ill treated. Your rank you have, beyond a question; for of that no brave officer can well be deprived in a regulated service; but, have you had the commands to which you are entitled? – I was a commander-in-chief when only a rear-admiral of the blue; and then how long did I wear a broad pennant, before I got a flag at all!”

“You forget how much I have been with you. When two serve together, one must command, and the other must obey. So far from complaining of these Hanoverian Boards, and First Lords, it seems to me that they have always kept in view the hollowness of their claims to the throne, and have felt a desire to purchase honest men by their favours.”

“You are the strangest fellow, Dick Bluewater, it has ever been my lot to fall in with! D – – e me, if I believe you know always, when you are ill treated. There are a dozen men in service, who have had separate commands, and who are not half as well entitled to them, as you are yourself.”

“Come, come, Oakes, this is getting to be puerile, for two old fellows, turned of fifty. You very well know that I was offered just as good a fleet, as this of your own, with a choice of the whole list of flag-officers below me, to pick a junior from; and, so, we’ll say no more about it. As respects their red riband, however, it may go a-begging for me.”

Sir Gervaise was about to answer in his former vein, when a tap at the door announced the presence of another visiter. This time the door opened on the person of Galleygo, who had been included in Sir Wycherly’s hospitable plan of entertaining every soul who immediately belonged to the suite of Sir Gervaise.

“What the d – – I has brought you here!” exclaimed the vice-admiral, a little warmly; for he did not relish an interruption just at this moment. “Recollect you’re not on board the Plantagenet, but in the dwelling of a gentleman, where there are both butler and housekeeper, and who have no occasion for your advice, or authority, to keep things in order.”

“Well, there, Sir Gervaise I doesn’t agree with you the least bit; for I thinks as a ship’s steward – I mean a cabin steward, and a good ‘un of the quality – might do a great deal of improvement in this very house. The cook and I has had a partic’lar dialogue on them matters, already; and I mentioned to her the names of seven different dishes, every one of which she quite as good as admitted to me, was just the same as so much gospel to her .”

“I shall have to quarantine this fellow, in the long run, Bluewater! I do believe if I were to take him to Lambeth Palace, or even to St. James’s, he’d thrust his oar into the archbishop’s benedictions, or the queen’s caudle-cup!”

“Well, Sir Gervaise, where would be the great harm, if I did? A man as knows the use of an oar, may be trusted with one, even in a church, or an abbey. When your honour comes to hear what the dishes was, as Sir Wycherly’s cook had never heard on, you’ll think it as great a cur’osity as I do myself. If I had just leave to name ‘em over, I think as both you gentlemen would look at it as remarkable.”

“What are they, Galleygo?” inquired Bluewater, putting one of his long legs over an arm of the adjoining chair, in order to indulge himself in a yarn with his friend’s steward, with greater freedom; for he greatly delighted in Galleygo’s peculiarities; seeing just enough of the fellow to find amusement, without annoyance in them. “I’ll answer for Sir Gervaise, who is always a little diffident about boasting of the superiority of a ship, over a house.”

“Yes, your honour, that he is – that is just one of Sir Jarvy’s weak p’ints, as a body might say. Now, I never goes ashore, without trimming sharp up, and luffing athwart every person’s hawse, I fall in with; which is as much as to tell ‘em, I belongs to a flag-ship, and a racer, and a craft as hasn’t her equal on salt-water; no disparagement to the bit of bunting at the mizzen-topgallant-mast-head of the Cæsar, or to the ship that carries it. I hopes, as we are so well acquainted, Admiral Bluewater, no offence will be taken.”

“Where none is meant, none ought to be taken, my friend. Now let us hear your bill-of-fare.”

“Well, sir, the very first dish I mentioned to Mrs. Larder, Sir Wycherly’s cook, was lobscous; and, would you believe it, gentlemen, the poor woman had never heard of it! I began with a light hand, as it might be, just not to overwhelm her with knowledge, at a blow, as Sir Jarvy captivated the French frigate with the upper tier of guns, that he might take her alive, like.”

“And the lady knew nothing of a lobscous – neither of its essence, nor nature?”

“There’s no essences as is ever put in a lobscous, besides potaties, Admiral Bluewater; thof we make ‘em in the old Planter” – nautice for Plantagenet – “in so liquorish a fashion, you might well think they even had Jamaiky, in ‘em. No, potaties is the essence of lobscous; and a very good thing is a potatie, Sir Jarvy, when a ship’s company has been on salted oakum for a few months.”

“Well, what was the next dish the good woman broke down under?” asked the rear-admiral, fearful the master might order the servant to quit the room; while he, himself, was anxious to get rid of any further political discussion.

“Well, sir, she knowed no more of a chowder, than if the sea wern’t in the neighbourhood, and there wern’t such a thing as a fish in all England. When I talked to her of a chowder, she gave in, like a Spaniard at the fourth or fifth broadside.”

“Such ignorance is disgraceful, and betokens a decline in civilization! But, you hoisted out more knowledge for her benefit, Galleygo – small doses of learning are poor things.”

“Yes, your honour; just like weak grog – burning the priming, without starting the shot. To be sure, I did, Admiral Blue. I just named to her burgoo, and then I mentioned duff ( anglice dough) to her, but she denied that there was any such things in the cookery-book. Do you know, Sir Jarvy, as these here shore craft get their dinners, as our master gets the sun; all out of a book as it might be. Awful tidings, too, gentlemen, about the Pretender’s son; and I s’pose we shall have to take the fleet up into Scotland, as I fancy them ‘ere sogers will not make much of a hand in settling law?”

“And have you honoured us with a visit, just to give us an essay on dishes, and to tell us what you intend to do with the fleet?” demanded Sir Gervaise, a little more sternly than he was accustomed to speak to the steward.

“Lord bless you, Sir Jarvy, I didn’t dream of one or t’other! As for telling you, or Admiral Blue, (so the seamen used to call the second in rank,) here, any thing about lobscous, or chowder, why, it would be carrying coals to New Market. I’ve fed ye both with all such articles, when ye was nothing but young gentlemen; and when you was no longer young gentlemen, too, but a couple of sprightly luffs, of nineteen. And as for moving the fleet, I know, well enough, that will never happen, without our talking it over in the old Planter’s cabin; which is a much more nat’ral place for such a discourse, than any house in England!”

“May I take the liberty of inquiring, then, what did bring you here?”

“That you may, with all my heart, Sir Jarvy, for I likes to answer your questions. My errand is not to your honour this time, though you are my master. It’s no great matter, after all, being just to hand this bit of a letter over to Admiral Blue.”