Nick Drake - Nefertiti.he book of the dead

'I am returned,' she said. 'I stand before you now not as a god but as a woman. I am heart, and spirit, and truth. Listen to what I say, and speak of it to your people. I come to restore truth. Let all know this: truth shall prevail. Any man who challenges or dishonours our peace with war or corruption or lies is guilty of a crime against truth and against the Two Lands. This is the Truth of the Gods, the Truth of maat, and the Truth of my House.'

The chamber was utterly silent. Everyone was attending to every nuance and each unspoken implication of her words.

'And now we shall reward, in the sight and witness of the whole world, those who we love and who have tendered us their love.'

Through the columns and the crowded heads of the world's men of power, I saw Horemheb approach the Window. He ascended the platform before her, bowed his arrogant head, and received a gold collar, which Nefertiti placed around his neck. He stood back, bowed, kneeled, and stepped down. He did all of this with an exact grace, but it carried with it no sense whatsoever of real commitment. Next came Ramose. He, too, received a collar, but his reaction was one of pride. He looked moved and relieved. Others followed as the herald called out their names, leading figures in the hierarchy whose loyalty she needed to ensure in public before she could move forward to the harder negotiations. She was bringing together the elements that had threatened to tear the land apart, making them acknowledge her authority and obey her rule.

Then I heard my name called. The room went silent. Surely it was a mistake. I heard it again: 'Rahotep, Seeker of Mysteries'. I was startled. My breath suddenly sounded loud in my ears, and my heart raced. As in a dream, I saw a pathway open up for me in the crowd, and I passed through it, past the rows of curious, shadowy faces, towards the Window. I stepped up onto the platform and looked up at her face, framed by the icons of her power. Everything seemed charged with detail: the clear light in her glittering eyes; the colours, red, gold, blue, in the Window; the red ribbons that hung below the frieze of fierce, protecting cobra-heads above us; even the expectant hush in the room.

I knew that I had found her, and I understood that I had lost her. I had always known it would be so. This was the end. Is it foolish to say I felt something like snow falling about me, as if these last moments with her had slowed and changed into the intangible, delicate and fast-disappearing flakes? There was a look of lightness on her face. She possessed her power once more. I felt a sadness welling in my heart. It was not a good sadness, clear as sweet water; it was darker and stranger, like some beautifully bitter, rich, blood-red wine. I thought of her then as that box of snow. My treasure. I would carry her memory with me, and I would never open it.

She reached down to me and placed a gold collar around my neck. I breathed deeply, needing to take in her scent. Already she was becom-ing distant, drifting away from me. She whispered one word: goodbye. Then I stepped away, the unaccustomed weight of gold and honour upon my shoulders – the gift of a better future, the one thing she could give to me. She had rewarded me with gold and with respect. And she had done it in front of the world. And she had spoken to me.

I walked back to my place, and this time I drew interested and sometimes admiring expressions and nods from these powerful men. Things had changed again. Status, that strange and fickle god, had smiled on me. I found myself standing next to Nakht. He gestured to the collar with a kind of 'well done' expression on his face.

I looked back to the Window, for Ay had appeared, carrying with him his peculiar cold atmosphere, his uncanny unearthliness. He stepped up onto the platform, the last to be acknowledged. There was utter silence in the room, as if no-one dared even breathe during the encounter of these two great figures. They stared at each other for a moment, then Nefertiti lowered the collar around her father's neck as if it were a chain not a reward. She was trying to yoke him to her inten-tions. She seemed to have succeeded. He made a light bow of respect, and stepped back. But then he looked up again and, with a faint smile I instantly mistrusted, clapped his hands together.

From a side door emerged a slight, strange figure – the young boy I had seen once before with Akhenaten. He shuffled forward with an exquisite gold staff tucked under his right arm. Its tapping on the floor sounded loud in the hushed room. His face was gaunt and charismatic, his body angled and thin. He looked as if he had been here among mortals before, many times. I shivered involuntarily. I looked at Nefertiti's face. It was shocked, as if a ghost were standing before her.

The boy arrived at the Window, and Ay invited him to come and stand next to him. Nefertiti seemed to have no say in the matter, and she honoured him with a collar as well. The three stood together, the Queen in her Window looking down upon the older man and the young boy. Something as yet unknown was framed here for the future. 'Who is that boy?' I whispered to Nakht. 'His name is Tutenkhaten.' 'Who is he?'

'He is a royal child. Some say his father is Akhenaten, some say not.' 'And who is his mother?'

'That I do not know. But it would be important to find out, for that boy has a role written for him by Ay in the Book of Time. If the time of the Aten is over, the Amun will be restored. He may yet be called by a new name. Tutankhamun.' Then Ay invited the Queen to descend. She did so, with her daughters. A large door opened at the far end of the hall. The chamber it opened on to was dark with congregating shadows. There was a sound of rustling and shuffling, as men made way for her. Nefertiti knew she must walk now, across this great hall, past these great men and into that dark chamber, with pride and dignity. She set off, followed by Ay, Horemheb, Ramose and the shuffling boy. I thought again of the Society of Ashes. I wondered who else held feathers. Who else was waiting in that room of shadows?

The Queen walked past me, her face proud and dignified beneath the great crown. I remembered all those glorious stone faces in Thutmosis's workshop, and it was as if the best of them had come to life now in her poise, balance and beauty. Her face was self-possessed and powerful. But I saw in her eyes, for a moment as she glanced at me, those gold flecks of pain. Then the door closed behind them, and she was gone. As the hall burst into an uproar of controversial shouts and arguments, a breathless pain overwhelmed my heart. Nakht noticed. 'Let us go outside,' he said.

As we walked away through the crowds I tried to regain my breath. I needed to talk, to keep thinking, to move ahead, as she had done, into my own future. I needed to evade the pain of this moment.

'How is your garden coming on?' I heard myself say, astonished by the irrelevance of my question.

Nakht smiled, understanding. I had forgotten how much I liked him.

'Oh, it is struggling with the desert, as always,' he said. 'But I am returning to Thebes, now that all is changing. Why don't you join me?'

Khety and I stood together on the jetty while Nakht's boat was under-going its final preparations. The city was emptying. The dock was a mess of boats and cargoes, but a new sense of purpose seemed to have taken hold. People knew, once more, what they could believe in. For my part, I could not wait to leave the terrible delusion of this place.

'Find your family, Khety. Go home. Stay in touch. I'm sure we'll meet again.' He nodded. 'And you yours. That's what matters now.' 'Thanks. And keep trying for a child.' 'We will.' He smiled. I liked him.

'We will look back upon all this one day over a good wine from the Dakhla Oasis.'