Sharon Penman - Time and Chance

“Nothing at all. It is just… that you’d not called me Bleddyn before.” Bleddyn smiled then, a smile so like Rhiannon’s that Ranulf could only marvel how he’d missed the resemblance.

As Bleddyn disappeared into the mist, Ranulf began trudging again toward Pentraeth, stopping frequently to rest and comfort his horse. He was tired and hungry, but happier than he’d been in months, relieved to be spared that harrowing journey to Ireland, grateful that he’d heeded Hywel’s advice and accepted his son’s name change. He found himself wondering suddenly if Harry and his sons were traveling a road as rough hewn as the one he’d been riding with Gilbert-Bleddyn for so long. Why were daughters so much easier to rear? Mallt had given him nary a worry over the years. Whereas Morgan was already a hellion at six; God forbid what he’d be like at sixteen!

The sounds were muffled by the fog, but far too familiar for Ranulf to mistake; he’d fought in enough battles to recognize the din in his sleep. He stood still for a heartbeat, listening to the metallic clash of swords, the cries of men and horses, and then hastily looped Roland’s reins over the nearest bush before he began to run.

“Gilbert!” He wasn’t even aware that he was shouting his son’s name. “Gilbert!” The fog was inconstant, drifting over the land like sea smoke. One moment he’d break free of it, only to plunge into another cloud. The air was mild and damp, and he felt as if he were trying to breathe underwater. The fog distorted sounds and he could no longer trust his senses, could not judge distance. He fell once, was up even before his bruised body could register the impact. And then suddenly he was there, emerging from the mist onto a scene of carnage.

The fighting was over, the battlefield strewn with crumpled bodies, dropped weapons, and several downed horses. Unlike most battles, there had been no looting and the attacking force was already gone, in their hasty retreat leaving behind riderless stallions and bloodied or broken swords. Ranulf came to a halt, stunned, unwilling to believe what he was seeing. Drawing his sword in a reflex action, he peered blindly into the night, but could find no foes, none but the wounded, the dead, and the dying.

“Papa!”

Ranulf spun around as Bleddyn came stumbling out of the fog. He looked dazed and blood was flowing from a gash on his forehead, but he was alive, he was breathing, and Ranulf dropped his sword, lunged forward to embrace his son. Bleddyn was trembling, and for a long, shuddering moment, he said nothing, just held tight.

“I came upon this…,” he said, his voice so constricted and choked that Ranulf would never have recognized it. “Dead… all dead… the men who’d attacked them were fleeing… I never even saw who they were… I set after them, not thinking, just… I wanted to kill, to make them pay… and then my horse swerved to avoid trampling a body and I went right over his head… God, Papa, Jesus God… what happened?”

“Hush, lad, hush. It’s over, it’s all over.” Steering the shocked youth toward the closest shelter, a lanky sapling, he got Bleddyn to sit upon the ground. Fumbling for his dagger, he slashed a strip from his mantle and urged his son to hold it to his bleeding head. “Stay there, lad. Do not move. I’ll be back, I swear I will.”

He thought then to retrieve his sword, shoving it into his scabbard. But he was at a loss as to what to do next. Everywhere he looked, there was need. Hywel… where was Hywel? Moving like someone in a trance, he knelt beside the closest body, saw that the man was beyond help, and went on to the next victim. This one, too, was dead, and somewhere in the back of his brain, he recognized Iddon, one of Peryf’s brothers. He could hear moaning now, cries of pain. The rank smells of death-blood, urine, and spilled entrails-were strong enough to make him queasy. Hywel… Jesu, where was he?

He found Peryf next, so limp and still that he was amazed to be able to detect a pulse. Peryf had been the only one wearing a hauberk, mocked by his brothers for his excessive caution, but Ranulf suspected now that the chain-mail had saved his life for he could find no wounds on Peryf’s body, just an ugly, swelling bruise above his eye.

“Mary, Mother of God!”

Ranulf whirled toward this new voice, saw one of the men who’d been left behind at Pentraeth standing several yards away. The rest were coming into view now, too, moving instinctively toward Ranulf, all talking at once, some swearing, others saying that they’d heard the clamor, one man just whispering “Merciful Jesus” over and over, as if he knew no other words.

The priest was there, too, having followed them as they raced past his church, fearing the worst and finding it. After a horrified pause, he began to move among the bodies, seeking to do what he could, stirring the others to action, too.

Peryf was groaning, his eyelids fluttering. Coming back to consciousness, he came back, too, to immediate recall, and started to struggle upright, had to be restrained by Ranulf and Tathan. “Davydd,” he gasped. “It was Davydd and Rhodri… Christ, it happened so fast, Ranulf! They were upon us ere we knew it and we were so outnumbered-Hywel! Where is Hywel? Find him, Ranulf, find him!”

“I will,” Ranulf promised. “Just lie still, Peryf. I’ll be back.” Beckoning Tathan aside, he said softly, “Stay with him. Whatever… whatever happens, he’s already lost a brother. Iddon is dead.”

Tathan blanched. “God help him, for so is Brochfael.”

They looked at each other, neither knowing what to say. And then Ranulf turned away to hunt for Hywel.

The fog hid the worst of the bloodshed. So did the utter blackness of a January night. With no stars, no lanterns, they stumbled around in the dark, going from body to body, seeking to find the living midst the dead. Ranulf had not seen so many casualties since Lincoln, that long-ago battle of his youth, which ended with the capture of a king. Would Hywel be as lucky as Stephen? That was a question with no answer, a question to raise the hairs on the back of his neck and start icy sweat oozing down his ribs.

He almost fell over Caradog, twisted aside just in time. Kneeling, he touched the young man’s face. His skin was still warm, but the eyes staring up at Ranulf were sightless, empty. Ranulf reached out and gently closed them, trying not to think of all that Caradog would never see now. Coming slowly to his feet, he continued to search the field for Hywel.

He heard someone shout that Caswallon was alive, and that emboldened him to call out for Hywel. His cry was quickly taken up, for men were no more equal in death than they were in life, and Hywel’s blood was worth more to Wales than any spilled by the other victims of this island ambush. Ranulf began to shout for Hywel again, shouting until he was hoarse, hearing only echoes on the wind. But then he saw the dog.

The wolfhound was crouched by a low hedge of hawthorn, shivering with fear. It whimpered as Ranulf approached, shrinking back as he held out his hand. With a leaden step, he drew closer. He moved around the hawthorn and there he found Hywel.

He lay motionless on the ground, a bloodied spear protruding from his side. Crying out for help, Ranulf dropped to his knees beside him. There was a moment of wild hope when he saw Hywel’s chest rise and fall. Hywel’s breathing was shallow and labored, his heart not yet ready to stop beating, and when Ranulf gripped his hand, the fingers closed weakly over his. But blood was trickling from the corner of his mouth and his dark eyes were losing the light. He did not look afraid or even in pain, just surprised. He struggled for enough breath to speak as time ran out, and his face blurred for Ranulf in a haze of hot tears. When he blinked them back, Hywel was gone and the hand in his was inert, unresponsive.