David Zeman - The Pinocchio Syndrome

Everhardt gave no sign of having heard the remark.

‘Mr Vice President,’ said the doctor, ‘I’d like to show Agent Kraig a couple of the things we were trying to do before. If that’s all right with you.’

Everhardt looked at the TV in silence.

‘Just to make sure there’s no mistake,’ the doctor said, ‘is your full name Daniel James Everhardt?’

No response.

The doctor took one of Everhardt’s hands. Everhardt looked down at his hand.

‘Can you just give my hand one firm squeeze?’ the doctor asked.

Everhardt stared at the clasped hands, but did not obey the command. At length he looked back up at the TV, leaving his hand in the doctor’s.

‘All right, Mr Vice President. Can you just look from the TV to Agent Kraig, and then back at the TV?’

There was no response.

The doctor gave Kraig a significant look. Then he pushed the call button on the phone beside the bed. A moment later a nurse appeared.

‘Yes, Doctor?’ she asked.

Everhardt looked at the nurse. His hand remained in the doctor’s.

‘Nothing, Nurse. My mistake,’ said the doctor.

The nurse left the room.

‘Mr Vice President, can you look at me?’ the doctor asked.

Everhardt, whose eyes had returned to the TV screen, did not react to the question.

The doctor escorted Kraig from the room.

‘You saw the essentials,’ he said.

‘He seems aware of his surroundings,’ Kraig said.

‘He is. His reflexes are normal. He reacts to new sights, to sounds. But he can’t do anything on command,’ the doctor said. ‘Nothing at all. He can look at the nurse when she walks in, but he can’t do it if I tell him to look at her.’

‘Did he walk in here under his own power?’ Kraig asked.

The doctor shook his head. ‘When they found him he was immobile. Rigid. He seemed to resist any attempt to move him.’

‘What about language?’ Kraig asked.

‘He hasn’t said a single word since they brought him in. He can’t repeat a word, or even a sound. He’s groaned a couple of times, but he hasn’t spoken. We don’t know if he can speak.’

Kraig was perplexed. ‘I’m not a doctor,’ he said, ‘but this seems very strange.’

‘It is very strange,’ the doctor said. ‘To have a paralysis of function this massive while all the vital signs are normal, and while he can obviously see and hear and react, is not something I’ve ever seen.’

‘What are you going to do?’ Kraig asked.

‘Keep him under observation. Run some more tests. Some more blood studies to look for infection or a metabolic disorder. Some more sophisticated neurological studies. An EEG and skull X-ray to rule out an atypical seizure disorder or brain tumor. Maybe an MRI.’

The doctor gave Kraig a look. ‘And, I think, a complete psychiatric workup with a thorough history.’

‘Why psychiatric?’

‘Well, his condition has some features of catatonic schizophrenia or certain types of conversion disorders. We’ll also have to rule out a factitious disorder.’

‘What’s that?’

‘The layman would call it faking,’ the doctor said. ‘I’d prefer to call it a kind of stress-related dysfunction. As you know, the vice president is under considerable stress at the moment. As is the president.’

‘You mean the calls for a special election?’ Kraig asked.

‘There could be a lot of ambivalence about a thing like that,’ the doctor said. ‘Especially in these troubled times.’

‘I see what you mean.’ Kraig knew that Dan Everhardt was a career legislator who probably would never have dreamed of running for high executive office if the president had not chosen him as his running mate five years ago. Now that the president was under attack, Dan Everhardt had to absorb the same blows from the media and from hostile forces in Congress.

‘You’re saying that he has a strong motive to be sick,’ Kraig offered. ‘Because it would get him off the hook politically.’

‘That’s correct,’ the doctor said. ‘Not that it’s a conscious decision on his part. The symptoms wouldn’t be this convincing if it was.’

There was a silence. The doctor started to say something, but stopped himself.

‘Yes, Doctor?’ Kraig asked.

‘Did you hear about that strange epidemic out in Iowa?’ the doctor asked.

‘You mean the people who can’t talk?’

‘Yes. It’s just a hunch on my part, but the vice president’s symptoms remind me of the reports about those people. I think it would be worth checking out.’

‘I’ll take care of it,’ Kraig said, making a note on a small spiral pad.

The doctor looked worried. ‘If this thing wasn’t confined … If it was a communicable disease of some sort …’

‘Yes?’ Kraig raised an eyebrow.

‘We wouldn’t know how to combat it,’ the doctor said. ‘We wouldn’t have a clue.’

Kraig looked at him in silence.

‘Of course, that’s very unlikely,’ the doctor went on. ‘What happened in Iowa is probably some kind of mass hysteria.’

‘Probably?’ Kraig asked.

‘Probably,’ the physician concluded. ‘In any case, we’ll work with what we have.’

‘Thank you for seeing me, Doctor.’

‘The hospital administrator tells me the media are waiting for a statement,’ the doctor said. ‘I waited to hear from you. From the government, I mean.’

‘I appreciate it. We can draft something together,’ Kraig said.

An hour later Joseph Kraig stood beside the hospital spokesman, an administrator named Dr Cobb, as he faced a large group of reporters outside the main hospital entrance. Video cameras were running, the bright lights making Kraig squint.

‘Dr Cobb, how is the vice president?’ The question came from several directions at once.

‘The vice president is well,’ Dr Cobb said. ‘We’ve been running a lot of tests today, and the patient is understandably tired. The tests will continue tomorrow.’

‘What is the current diagnosis, Doctor?’ Again several voices shouted this at once.

‘We’re not prepared to make a definitive diagnosis until a full battery of tests has been run.’

Every word so far, Kraig reflected, had been approved by the White House. This was no time for ad-libbing. Kraig’s eyes scanned the mob of reporters and video men. They looked like jackals closing in for the kill. The microphones on their poles were like the proboscises of oversized insects who fed on the pain of humans.

‘Doctor, is there any truth to the rumor that Vice President Everhardt’s condition has baffled your physicians?’

The question was asked by a young female reporter with dark hair, a woman Kraig did not remember seeing before.

‘No truth,’ Dr Cobb said.

‘Doctor, is it true that the vice president is mentally incapacitated?’

‘Not true,’ Cobb answered with some irritation.

‘Doctor, is there truth to the story that the vice president’s illness is connected in some way to the epidemic in Iowa?’

The questions were coming from the same reporter, who outdid even her Washington peers in rapid-fire attack.

‘Not at all,’ Cobb said.

To Kraig’s surprise, the next question was addressed to him.

‘Agent Kraig, are you concerned about protecting the health of other federal officials?’

Kraig narrowed his eyes at the reporter. Who was this hound, anyway?

‘It’s our job to protect the president and those who work alongside him,’ he said. ‘I don’t see how the vice president’s condition affects that.’

‘Does Vice President Everhardt’s incapacitation make you worry about the safety of other government officials?’

‘I wouldn’t call it incapacitation,’ Kraig said.

‘Have you interviewed the vice president yourself, Agent Kraig?’