Квентин Тарантино: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: The First Novel By Quentin Tarantino

Again the two men laugh, as Marvin removes a small leather notebook from the opposite inside jacket pocket of the one containing Joseph Cotten’s gold cigarette case.

“I had a few of my satellites look up your statistics in Europe. And as they say, so far so good.” Searching for the notes in the little book, he asks out loud, “Did Bounty Law air in Europe?” He finds the page he’s looking for, then looks from the page to Rick. “Yes, it did. Good.”

Rick smiles.

Marvin looks back down at the book and says, “Where?” searching the page and finding the data he’s looking for. “Italy, good. England, good. Germany, good. No France.” But then he looks up at Rick and says as consolation, “But, yes, Belgium. So they know who you are in Italy, England, Germany, and Belgium.” Marvin concludes, “So that’s your TV show. But you’ve done a few flicks, so how did they do?”

Marvin looks back down at the little book in his hands, flipping through the little pages, searching its contents. “Actually”—finding what he’s looking for—“All three of your westerns, Comanche Uprising , Hellfire , Texas , and Tanner , did relatively well in Italy, France, and Germany.” Looking back up to Rick: “With Tanner doing even better than that in France. Can you read French?” Marvin asks Rick.

“No,” Rick answers.

“Too bad,” Marvin says as he removes a folded-up Xerox page stuck in the little notebook and hands it across the coffee table to Rick. “This is the Cahiers du Cinéma review of Tanner. It’s a good review, very well written. You should get it translated.”

Rick takes the Xerox from Marvin, nodding at the agent’s suggestion, though the actor knows full well he’ll never do that.

But then Marvin raises his head to meet Rick’s eyes and says, suddenly enthusiastic, “But the best news in this whole fuckin’ book: The Fourteen Fists of McCluskey !”

Rick’s face lights up as Marvin continues, “Now, in America, that did okay for Columbia when it was released. But in Europe, Fuck me! ” He lowers his head to read the information in front of him. “Says here The Fourteen Fists of McCluskey was a fuckin’ smash all over Europe. Played everywhere and played for fuckin’ ever!”

Marvin looks up, closes his little book, and concludes, “So in Europe, they know who you are. They know your TV show. But even more than the guy from Bounty Law , in Europe, you’re the cool guy with the eye patch and the flamethrower that kills a hundred and fifty Nazis in The Fourteen Fists of McCluskey .”

After making that huge statement, Marvin grinds his Kent out in the ashtray. “What was your last theatrical feature?”

Now it’s Rick’s turn to grind out his cigarette in the ashtray, as he grunts, “A horrible children’s movie made for the kiddie matinee crowd, called Salty, the Talking Sea Otter .”

Marvin smiles. “I take it you are not the title character?”

Rick smiles grimly at the agent’s joke, but nothing about that movie does he find funny.

“That was the film Universal dumped me in to finish my four-picture contract,” Rick explains. “Which just goes to show how much Universal gave a fuck about me. I remember that prick, Jennings Lang, selling me a whole bill of goods. Luring me over to Universal with a four-picture deal. I had Avco Embassy offering me a deal. National General Pictures offering me a deal. Irving Allen Productions offered me a deal. I turned them all down and went with Universal because they were the major. And because Jennings Lang told me, ‘Universal wants to be in the Rick Dalton business.’ After I signed up, I never saw that prick again.” Referring to the time Invasion of the Body Snatchers producer Walter Wanger shot Jennings Lang in the groin for fucking his wife, Joan Bennett, “If anybody deserved to get their balls shot off, it’s that prick Jennings Lang.” Adding bitterly, “Universal was never in the Rick Dalton business.”

Rick picks up his coffee cup and takes a sip. It’s gone cold. He puts it back down on the table with a sigh.

Marvin continues, “So for the last two years you’ve been doing guest shots on episodic TV shows?”

Rick nods his head in the affirmative. “Yeah, I’m doing a pilot for CBS right now, Lancer. I’m the heavy. I did a Green Hornet . A Land of the Giants. A Ron Ely Tarzan , the one I mentioned I did with William Witney. I did that show Bingo Martin with that kid Scott Brown.”

Rick doesn’t like Scott Brown, so when he mentions his name, he subconsciously gives a dismissive look. “And I just finished an FBI for Quinn Martin.”

Marvin sips his coffee, even though it’s gone a little cool. “So you’ve been doing pretty good?”

“I been working,” Rick says as if to clarify.

“Did you play the bad guy in all these shows?” Marvin asks.

“Not Land of the Giants , but the rest, yeah.”

“Did they all end in fight scenes?”

“Again, not Land of the Giants or The FBI , but the rest, yeah.”

“Now the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question.” Marvin asks, “Did you lose the fight?”

“Of course,” Rick says. “I’m the heavy.”

Marvin lets out a big “ahhhhh” to make his point. “That’s an old trick pulled by the networks. Take Bingo Martin , for example. So you got a new guy like Scott Brown and you wanna build up his bona fides. So you hire a guy from a canceled show to play the heavy. Then at the end of the show, when they fight, it’s hero besting heavy. ”

But then Marvin goes on to explain, “But what the audience sees is Bingo Martin whippin’ the guy from Bounty Law’s ass.”

Ouch , thinks Rick. That fuckin’ smarted.

But Marvin’s not done. “Then next week, it’s Ron Ely in his loincloth. And the week after that, it’s Bob Conrad in his tight pants kickin’ your ass.” Marvin drives his right fist into the palm of his left hand for effect. “Another coupla years playin’ punchin’ bag to every swingin’ dick new to the network,” Marvin explains, “is going to have a psychological effect on how the audience perceives you.”

The masculine humiliation of what Marvin’s suggesting, even though he’s only referring to playacting, is making Rick’s brow perspire. I’m a punching bag? Is this my career now? Losing fights to this season’s new swingin’ dick? Is that how Tris Coffin, star of 26 Men, felt when he lost his fight to me on Bounty Law? Or Kent Taylor?

While Rick dwells on this, Marvin moves on to another subject.

“Now, I’ve had at least four people tell me a story about you,” Schwarz starts, “but none of them know the whole story, so I want you to tell me.” Marvin asks, “What’s this about you almost playing the McQueen role in The Great Escape ?”

Oh Christ, not this fucking story again , thinks Rick. Though completely unamused, he laughs it off for Marvin’s benefit. “It’s only a good story for the Sportsmen’s Lodge crowd.” Rick chuckles, “You know, the part you almost got. The fish that got away.”

“Those are my favorite stories,” the agent says. “Tell me.”

Rick has had to tell this shaggy-dog story so much, he’s reduced it down to its basic elements. Swallowing his resentment, Rick plays the part that’s a little out of his range: a humble actor.

“Well,” Rick begins, “apparently, at the same time that John Sturges offered McQueen the title role of Hilts, the Cooler King, in The Great Escape , Carl Foreman”—referencing the powerhouse writer-producer of The Guns of Navarone and The Bridge on the River Kwai —“was making his directorial debut with a film called The Victors , and he offered McQueen one of the lead roles, and, apparently, McQueen vacillated so much, Sturges was forced to draw up a list of possible replacements for the character. And, apparently , I was on the list.”