Eugene O'Neill: The First Man

MARTHA- [Quietly.] Do you need me now, Curt?

BIGELOW- [Starting up.] Yes, if you two want to work together, why just shoo me-

CURTIS- [Puts both hands on his shoulders and forces him to his seat again.] No. Sit down, Big. I don't need Martha now. [Coming over to her, bends down and kisses her-rather mockingly.] I couldn't deprive Big of an audience for his confessions of a fond parent.

BIGELOW-Aha! Now it's you who are mocking at something you know nothing about. [An awkward silence follows this remark.]

CURTIS- [Frowning.] I guess you're forgetting, aren't you, Big? [He turns and walks into his study, closing the door gently behind him.]

MARTHA- [After a pause-sadly.] Poor Curt.

BIGELOW- [Ashamed and confused.] I had forgotten-

MARTHA-The years have made me reconciled. They haven't Curt. [She sighs-then turns to BIGELOW with a forced smile.] I suppose it's hard for any of you back here to realize that Curt and I ever had any children.

BIGELOW- [After a pause.] How old were they when-?

MARTHA-Three years and two-both girls. [She goes on sadly.] We had a nice little house in Goldfield. [Forcing a smile.] We were very respectable home folks then. The wandering came later, after- It was a Sunday in winter when Curt and I had gone visiting some friends. The nurse girl fell asleep-or something-and the children sneaked out in their underclothes and played in the snow. Pneumonia set in-and a week later they were both dead.

BIGELOW- [Shocked.] Good heavens!

MARTHA-We were real lunatics for a time. And then when we'd calmed down enough to realize-how things stood with us-we swore we'd never have children again-to steal away their memory. It wasn't what you thought-romanticism-that set Curt wandering- and me with him. It was a longing to lose ourselves-to forget. He flung himself with all his power into every new study that interested him. He couldn't keep still, mentally or bodily-and I followed. He needed me-then-so dreadfully!

BIGELOW-And is it that keeps driving him on now?

MARTHA-Oh, no. He's found himself. His work has taken the place of the children.

BIGELOW-And with you, too?

MARTHA- [With a wan smile.] Well, I've helped-all I could. His work has me in it, I like to think-and I have him.

BIGELOW- [Shaking his head.] I think people are foolish to stand by such an oath as you took-forever. [With a smile.] Children are a great comfort in one's old age, I've tritely found.

MARTHA- [Smiling.] Old age!

BIGELOW-I'm knocking at the door of fatal forty.

MARTHA- [With forced gaiety.] You're not very tactful, I must say. Don't you know I'm thirty-eight?

BIGELOW- [Gallantly.] A woman is as old as she looks. You're not thirty yet.

MARTHA- [Laughing.] After that nice remark I'll have to forgive you everything, won't I? [LILY JAYSON comes in from the rear. She is a slender, rather pretty girl of twenty-five. The stamp of college student is still very much about her. She rather insists on a superior, intellectual air, is full of nervous, thwarted energy. At the sight of them sitting on the couch together, her eyebrows are raised.]

LILY- [Coming into the room-breezily.] Hello, Martha. Hello, Big. [They both get up with answering "Hellos."] I walked right in regardless. Hope I'm not interrupting.

MARTHA-Not at all.

LILY- [Sitting down by the table as MARTHA and BIGELOW resume their seats on the lounge.] I must say it sounded serious. I heard you tell Big you'd forgive him everything, Martha. [Dryly-with a mocking glance at BIGELOW.] You're letting yourself in for a large proposition.

BIGELOW- [Displeased but trying to smile it off.] The past is never past for a dog with a bad name, eh, Lily? [LILY laughs. BIGELOWgets up.] If you want to reward me for my truthfulness, Mrs. Jayson, help me take the kids for an airing in the car. I know it's an imposition but they've grown to expect you. [Glancing at his watch.] By Jove, I'll have to run along. I'll get them and then pick you up here. Is that all right?

MARTHA-Fine.

BIGELOW-I'll run, then. Good-by, Lily. [She nods. BIGELOW goes out rear.]

MARTHA- [Cordially.] Come on over here, Lily.

LILY- [Sits on couch with MARTHA-after a pause-with a smile.] You were forgetting, weren't you?

MARTHA-What?

LILY-That you'd invited all the family over here to tea this afternoon. I'm the advance guard.

MARTHA- [Embarrassed.] So I was! How stupid!

LILY- [With an inquisitive glance at MARTHA'S face but with studied carelessness.] Do you like Bigelow?

MARTHA-Yes, very much. And Curt thinks the world of him.

LILY-Oh, Curt is the last one to be bothered by anyone's morals. Curt and I are the unconventional ones of the family. The trouble with Bigelow, Martha, is that he was too careless to conceal his sins-and that won't go down in this Philistine small town. You have to hide and be a fellow hypocrite or they revenge themselves on you. Bigelow didn't. He flaunted his love-affairs in everyone's face. I used to admire him for it. No one exactly blamed him, in their secret hearts. His wife was a terrible, straitlaced creature. No man could have endured her. [Disgustedly.] After her death he suddenly acquired a bad conscience. He'd never noticed the children before. I'll bet he didn't even know their names. And then, presto, he's about in our midst giving an imitation of a wet hen with a brood of ducks. It's a bore, if you ask me.

MARTHA- [Flushing.] I think it's very fine of him.

LILY- [Shaking her head.] His reform is too sudden. He's joined the hypocrites, I think.

MARTHA-I'm sure he's no hypocrite. When you see him with the children-

LILY-Oh, I know he's a good actor. Lots of women have been in love with him. [Then suddenly.] You won't be furious if I'm very, very frank, will you, Martha?

MARTHA- [Surprised.] No, of course not, Lily.

LILY-Well, I'm the bearer of a message from the Jayson family.

MARTHA- [Astonished.] A message? For me?

LILY-Don't think that I have anything to do with it. I'm only a Victor record of their misgivings. Shall I switch it going? Well, then, father thinks, brother John and wife, sister Esther and husband all think that you are unwisely intimate with this same Bigelow.

MARTHA- [Stunned.] I? Unwisely intimate-? [Suddenly laughing with amusement.] Well, you sure are funny people!

LILY-No, we're not funny. We'd be all right if we were. On the contrary, we're very dull and deadly. Bigelow really has a villainous rep. for philandering. But, of course, you didn't know that.

MARTHA- [Beginning to feel resentful-coldly.] No, I didn't-and I don't care to know it now.

LILY- [Calmly.] I told them you wouldn't relish their silly advice. [In a very confidential, friendly tone.] Oh, I hate their narrow small-town ethics as much as you do, Martha. I sympathize with you, indeed I do. But I have to live with them and so, for comfort's sake, I've had to make compromises. And you're going to live in our midst from now on, aren't you? Well then, you'll have to make compromises, too-if you want any peace.