Елена Миклашевская - Зачем им столько времен?

Vocabulary: coal – уголь; odd egg – тухлое яйцо.

Tenses to use: Present Simple, Past Simple, Past Continuous.

During my first week in Germany I couldn’t sleep because of cats. In the end, I (collect) a small arsenal – some pieces of coal, a few hard pears, a couple of candle ends, an empty bottle and an odd egg – and, opening the window, I (bombard) the place where the noise (come) from. I (not/think) I (hit) anything. But anyway, they (leave). I (go) to bed thinking that the accident (be) over.

Ten minutes later, I (hear) the door bell. I (go) to the door and (open) it. A policeman (stand) there. He (have) all the things I (throw) from the window in front of him. He (ask),

«These things (be) yours?»

«They (be) mine,» I (say), «But I (not/need) them any longer – you can have them.»

He (ignore) my offer and (say),

«You (throw) these things from the window.»

«You (be) right.»

«Why you (throw) these things from the window?» A German policeman (have) his order of questions; he never (vary) them.

«I (throw) them out of the window at some cats,» I (say).

«What cats?»

It (be) the sort of question that only a German policeman could ask. I (explain) that they (be) unknown to me, but I (offer) to recognize them by their voices if the police would invite all the cats from the area to my house.

The German policeman (not/understand) a joke. He (fine) me – that cat sport (cost) me twelve marks.

Answer the questions: What did the narrator do to stop cat waking him up? What did he try to explain the policeman? What was the result?

Vocabulary: phrase book – разговорник

Tenses to use: Present Simple, Past Simple, Past Continuous, Future Simple.

Two day before our trip to Germany, George (show) me a small red book. It (be) an English phrase book for German tourists. It (start) with «On a boat» and (end) with «At the Doctor’s». Some of the examples in the book (be) like this,

« Can you move a little, sir?» – «No, I can’t, madam, because the man next to me (be) very fat.»

George (say), «My idea (be) to get to London and do some shopping with the help of this book. I (buy) a hat and a pair of shoes. I (use) this book and (see) how people understand me.»

We (see) a large boot shop near Waterloo Station, and our experiment (begin). The shopkeeper (do) something with a pair of shoes when we (come). George (look) in the red book and (say),

«My friend, Mr X, (recommend) this shop to me.»

In the book, the shopkeeper (say),

«Mr X (be) a nice man, and I (be) very happy to see his friends.»

But our man (say), «I (not/know) him.»

George (look) in his book again and (find) another phrase, «My friend (say) that you (sell) boots here.»

For the first time the man (look) at us. He (begin) to speak getting more and more angry,

«You (think) I (keep) boots to look at them? You (think) I (work) in the shop because I (like) it? What you (think) I (be) – a book collector? You (hear) of a man working in the boot shop and not selling boots? You (think) I (be) an idiot?»

He still (shout) when George (find) the best sentence for the situation and (say),

«I (come) later. Good bye.»

When we (leave) the shop, the man (stand) at the door. He (shout) something that we (not/hear), but people around him (find) it interesting.

Answer the questions:

1. How did George want to use the phrase book?

2. Where did their experiment begin?

3. What made the shopkeeper angry?

4. What was the shopkeeper doing when the friends were leaving the shop?

Vocabulary: enemy – враг, irritate – раздражать.

Tenses to use: Present Simple, Past Simple, Past Continuous, Future Simple.

We (get) on the train a minute before it (leave), and I (remember) Uncle Podger. The way from his house to the railway station (take) about eight minutes. My Uncle always (say), «Leave home fifteen minutes before the train, and everything (be) all right.»

What he always (do) (be) to start five minutes before the train and run. I (not/know) why, but it (be) a tradition. Many fat City gentlemen (live) in Ealing in those days and (take) morning trains, and they all (start) late. When we (look) out of the window, they (run) to the station (carry) a black bag and a newspaper in one hand and an umbrella in the other.

My Uncle (not/get) up late. But something always (happen) to him at the last moment.

When he (be) about to leave, he usually (lose) his newspaper.

«I (have) it in my hand a minute ago!» he (exclaim). From his tone you could think that he (be) surrounded by the enemies that (hide) his things just to irritate him.

«You (leave) it in the garden?» my Aunt (ask).

«God bless this woman! I (not/want) a paper in the garden. I (want) it on the train.»

Here somebody (exclaim), «What (be) this?» and (give) him the newspaper. Uncle (open) the bag to put it in, and looking at it, (get) speechless.

«The day before yesterday’s!» he (whisper), too angry to shout, throwing the paper on the table, «I (be) late for the train!»

At last, we (find) his newspaper for him – usually he (sit) on it. Then he (smile). It was a smile of a man who (know) that he (have) to be surrounded by a band of the hopeless idiots.

«All the time, right in front of your noses -!» He (not/finish) the sentence, proud of his self-control.

Answer the questions:

1. Why did the narrator remember Uncle Podger when he was going to be late for the train?

2. Why was Uncle Podger usually late for his morning train?

3. What made him angry?

4. Where was usually the newspaper?

Vocabulary: balloonist – воздухоплаватель, bark – зд. рявкнуть, hydrogen gas – водород.

Tenses to use: Present Simple, Past Simple, Past Continuous, Future Simple.

In my early journalistic days, I (work) in a popular newspaper which (give) advice to people about everything – how to marry, how to keep rabbits, how to eat soup.

Once somebody, naming himself «balloonist», (write) to ask us how to produce hydrogen gas. It (be) an easy thing to produce – I (see) that after reading up the subject at the British Museum Library. But I (warn) the «Balloonist» to be very careful.

Ten days later, when we (sit) at our tables (work), a red-faced lady (come) to our office, leading by the hand what, she (explain), (be) her son, aged twelve. The boy (have) a strange expression on his face, and when he (come) nearer, I (understand), why. He (have) no eyebrows and no hair.

«This (be) a nice boy last week, with naturally curly hair,» (say) the lady with her voice going up as she (speak).

«What (happen) to him?» (ask) our chief.

«This (be) what (happen) to him,» (bark) the lady. With these words she (take) a copy of our newspaper with my article about hydrogen gas and (give) it to the chief. He (take) it and (look) it through.

«He (be) «Balloonist?» (ask) the chief.

«He (be) «Balloonist,» (answer) the lady, «the poor child, look at him!»

«I (think), the hair (grow),» (say) the chief.

«May be, it (grow),» (agree) the lady, «but I (want) to know what you (do) for him.»

«I really (not/think) it (be) our fault,» (say) the chief, «he (ask) for the information and he (get) it.»

«Don’t try to be funny about it,» (say) the lady, «or I (go) to court and you all (have) heads like this!» She (mean) like the boy’s.