Brian Lane - Mind Games with a Serial Killer

Wild Gumbo

Soup – Meat

Spicy Tuna Patties

Tuna Casserole

This recipe has a long and extensive background. I first began attending chili cookoffs in Texas while working for Uncle Sam. I’ve tasted everything from rabbit and game bird chili to ’possum and rattlesnake chili. The overall theme was a hot and spicy chili. As I got older, my stomach began to rebel at those hot spices. So I had to modify my chili. After many, many different variations, I finally settled on the version that appears here… An award winning one. For three years running, this is the version that took First Place awards in its division. The first two of those three years, it also won the Overall Best Chili—Grand Prize Award. But the biggest compliment I ever got for my chili, came from an old girlfriend. She hated chili! Couldn’t stand it, wouldn’t even try it. One evening, I fixed up a pot of it. It cooked all that night and the next day. That evening I was going to have a couple bowls and take the rest to work the next day. When I dished up a bowl, my girlfriend suddenly decided she wanted a taste. Half of the chili disappeared that evening and she took the rest with her the next day for her lunch. After that, she still professed distaste for chili—but she sure had extra helpings of my chili. Now! You must realize that there is a lot involved in making this chili, and it’s best if it gets a chance to cook a minimum of 15 hours. It can be fixed in a couple of hours if you’re willing to sacrifice some taste. But if you have the patience to let it cook all night and into the next evening, it’s well worth the wait. And please, I beg of you—don’t spoil the chili by adding beans! As I’ve stated many times—”Beans don’t belong in chili!” Beans may help the chili to go further in feeding, but it ruins the pure taste of the chili. If you want the chili to feed more people, make more chili! Of course, there are some people who never understand that and will add beans anyway. Well, I say “Line ‘em up downwind of those people who ate those beans!”

½ pound Lean Ground Beef

¼ pound Stewing Beef, cut to half bite-size

¼ pound Shredded Beef cut to half bite-size

¼ pound Ribeye Steak, cut to half bite-size

16 ounces Tomato Purée

¼ cup Sweet Pickle Relish

2 tablespoons Malt Vinegar

2 tablespoons Lemon Juice

½ cup Budweiser® Beer, allowed to go flat

½ Hickory Smoke Barbeque Sauce

¼ cup Hunt’s® Catsup

4 tablespoons heaping Best Foods® Mayonaise

2 tablespoons heaping French’s® Mustard

6 tablespoons Country Crock® tub Butter

2 pkgs Lawry’s® Chili Mix Seasoning

1 large bag Frito’s Corn Chips

1 small Green Bell Pepper, chopped

1 small Stewing Onion, diced

½ cup Green Olives w/Pimentos, quartered

8 large fresh Mushrooms, sliced and quartered

1 large Jalapeño Pepper, diced

3 Bay Leaves, crushed

2 cups Sharp Cheddar Cheese, shredded

2 tablespoons Chili Powder

1 tablespoon Corn Starch

2 teaspoons Salt

1 teaspoon Black Pepper

1 teaspoon Minced Onion

1 teaspoon Orégano

1 tablespoon Hickory Smoke Salt

1 tablespoon Garlic Salt

1 tablespoon Paprika

In a skillet, cook the Ground Beef thoroughly then pour off and discard the grease. Add half of the Bell Peppers, Stewing Onion and Mushrooms, plus 1 tbsp. Malt Vinegar, 2 tbsps. Butter, 1 tbsp. Chili Powder, 1 tsp. Salt and 1 pkg. Chili Mix Seasoning. Cook for 10 minutes over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Pour juices into a saucepan after spooning the meat and vegetables into a 2-quart crockpot set on low heat. Place the saucepan juices, covered, over low heat to simmer. Next, cook the Ribeye Steak, Shredded Beef and Stewing Beef in a skillet, then discard the grease. Follow above directions to cook the second half of the above ingredients with the meat. Again, pour juices into the saucepan to simmer and the solids into the crockpot.

To the saucepan, add the Pickle Relish, Garlic Salt, Hickory Smoke Salt, Lemon Juice, Minced Onion, Corn Starch and Orégano. Bring heat up to medium, stirring until mixture begins to boil, then add mixture to the crockpot. To the ingredients in the crockpot, add the Flat Beer, Tomato Purée, Mayonaise, Barbeque Sauce, Catsup, Mustard, Jalepeño Pepper, Black Pepper, crushed Bay Leaves, 2 cups of crushed Frito Corn Chips, remaining Butter and 1 cup of the Shredded Cheddar Cheese. Cover and let cook on medium for 2 hours, or on low heat for minimum of 15 hours, stir-ring occasionally. When through cooking, pour remaining Cheddar Cheese over top of chili, cover and let sit for 10 minutes with heat off. Serve hot with Paprika sprinkled over top and remaining Fritos on side for dipping. Salt and pepper to taste.

(Author’s note: I’ve also made this chili using beef, as shown, chicken, pork and rattlesnake meat. In my opinion, the rattlesnake chili tasted the best—followed closely by beef, chicken and pork. Of course, personally, I do not care for pork. Hence, my ranking it last, far down the list.)

When I was in the Military, our great ‘Uncle Sam’ fed us an old perennial favorite—S.O.S.—and those initials didn’t stand for ‘Save Our Ship!’ What it actually was, was Creamed Sausage on Toast. I liked it, but since then, I’ve cut back on my intake of pork drastically. So, I came up with my own version of this filling breakfast. Of course, like most foods, it can be eaten anytime you want it, rather than only for breakfast.

1½ cups Ribeye Steak, (see below for slicing)

¾ cup fresh Mushrooms, thinly sliced

8 tablespoons Country Crock® tub Butter

8 tablespoons Lemon Juice

1 small Stewing Onion, diced

3 tablespoons sifted Flour

1 tablespoon Best Foods® Mayonaise

1 cup Lowfat or Nonfat Milk

2 large Egg Whites

8-10 slices toasted Wheat Bread, buttered

[When you purchase the Ribeye Steak, have the butcher slice the meat wafer thin. Then cut the steak into smaller pieces (about 1″ x ½″).]

In a large skillet, brown the pieces of Ribeye Steak in 2 tablespoons of Butter. Remove and discard the greasy butter. To the cooked meat, add the Mushrooms, Onions, Lemon Juice and 3 tablespoons of Butter. Sauté for 5 minutes over medium heat. Remove and discard remaining liquid.

In a large saucepan, melt the remaining Butter, stir in Mayonaise and Flour. Cook over medium heat until bubbles begin to appear and then add the Milk. Bring to a slow boil, stirring frequently.

Spoon skillet ingredients into the saucepan, stir to mix well. Allow to simmer while whipping the Egg White with a wire whisk (about 2 minutes). Spoon egg into the mixture and heat until mixture begins to boil. Remove from heat and allow to slightly cool, then liberally spoon over buttered toast. Salt and pepper to taste.

A close friend that I lost in an auto-accident could never decide whether she wanted eggs or pancakes for breakfast and always left the decision up to me. A few times I ended up making both, but as neither of us ate large breakfasts, we always had leftovers. So I came up with this idea and it cut our breakfast bills in half. It solved her problem of making that decision, also. The combination of the two tastes good, too!

12 large Eggs

2 cups Whole Wheat Flour

1 tablespoon Baking Powder

¼ cup Powdered Milk

2 tablespoons Brown Sugar

½ teaspoon Salt