Alejandro Jodorowsky - The Spiritual Journey of Alejandro Jodorowsky - The Creator of El Topo

“Do you see? You were full of closed boxes that contained all your sadness, suffering, anger, frustration. . When I revived your bones, it made you go deeper inside. When I stretched your skin, it made you go farther outside. In opening all of your muscles, I have pushed you to the sides, toward both dawn and dusk. Now that I have emptied you of these memories trapped in your tissues like flies in a spider web, your viscera will appear. These are your ignored friends, always working for you in darkness, day and night, without the slightest thanks from you. Now feel them as I insert my fingers into the upper part of your abdomen, like this, on the right side. Feel as I palpate, caress, and move my fingers around; feel its large and generous form. This, my son, is your liver. It is a powerful, honest, faithful organ. It is vibrating, because it knows that you acknowledge it. Listen to its deep voice: ‘I am the doorman, the one who works to prevent the passage of toxins — not only those you ingest with your mouth but also those that infect your mind. Every cruel word makes me work to combat it, every repressed anger eats away at me, and unexpected attacks from the outside world strike me. I do my best to keep you alive, sending little pains or increased bile to get your attention. I also store vitamins. I wish you to live in innocence; I wish for words to descend from your ears to your soul like pure water; I wish for you to uproot criticism so that your blood flows like a limpid river. Allow me the strength to forbid entry to the demons of gluttony, jealousy, and deceit! Do not become my enemy, attacking me with substances I cannot assimilate. Not only are you what you eat but also you eat what you are. If you allow my temple to be invaded by substances, thoughts, feelings, or desires that are alien to you, they will be transformed into toxins.’”

When Magdalena spoke as the liver, her voice seemed to me like the purring of a black panther. Little by little, her repeated manipulations and caresses caused me to feel this great, soft organ, flat like a fish, pulsing all over with waves of faith and energy, like the love of a dog. I realized that my body, distorted by the icy indifference of my parents, had always received a rejuvenating elixir from this valiant organ, fatiguing it greatly. For the first time in my life, I felt pity for my liver. I asked Magdalena to liberate it from its suffering so that it could rest.

“My dear soul child, what you ask can be obtained only by going into your heart. Second after second, this friend, like a waterwheel of pure devotion, causes life to circulate in you. It beats in a rhythm that originates the instant the ancient ancestral spirit first manifested. If you concentrate, you will feel that primordial word in your breast, the resounding thunder that brought forth all existence, the dance of matter obeying the incessant demand of multiplicity. Under your ribs you bear a stubborn motor, as vigorous and sure of itself as an arrow flying through the empty sky like a giant bird bearing you toward eternity. This is why you must never go against it, no matter the frustration that may cause one or another of your muscles to contract — for the heart is the king of all muscles and it feels their slightest tensions, accumulating them over time. Little by little, this can cause it to lose interest in leading you to the divine portal. Then it will begin to punish you. It will weaken, beat out of rhythm, stutter, and get stuck. This wrong rhythm announces that the celestial doors are beginning to close for you. Allow my massage to give your heart confidence again, and have faith in it so that it has faith in you. Send your blood to it full of love. Do not reject it by trying to ignore its presence. Do not treat it as a clock that ticks out the minutes until your death. The heart never threatens; nor does it keep accounts. Its essential work is to circulate hope through your arteries and veins. Allow it to palpitate; imagine it as an eagle; climb onto its back; see how it opens its immense wings, carrying you toward a miraculous future.

“You are so used to living like a victim that the happiness you are now receiving makes you cry. You must finish once and for all with this orphan’s suffering. I am now going to awaken the consciousness of your lungs. They know the pleasure of air, of singing, the victory of having emerged for good from the sea. Three lobes on the right are male, two lobes on the left are female. They inhale the transparency of the world, inviting you to rise up beyond the stars. Allow all the air to come in and go out; never indulge in thinking you are suffocating; enjoy feeling these two friendly sponges, even when they are empty, and you will understand little by little that they love infinite space. Let them relax; don’t strain to breathe — be as calm as possible, as you observe your skeleton, your flesh, and your skin also drinking in this invisible nourishment. Gently let this vital oxygen, this exquisite food, enter into you. Now hold it as long as you can, transforming it into an elixir that penetrates your every cell, enriching its nucleus of consciousness. Then breathe out slowly, and feel how you are feeding the world: when the lungs receive the gift of the sky, you give back air to the energies of the earth. You are a bridge between them; for you the angels come and go, arise and descend as in the dream of Jacob.”

I now felt myself to be an essential part of the world. My breathing gave life to plants and to the earth, my heart rhythm was part of the total rhythm of animals everywhere. There was no separation between me and the clouds. Inhaling and exhaling, I could even create stars in my hands.

Seeing my face flushed with ecstasy, Magdalena began to laugh joyously.

“You understand? You have lived your whole life unconscious of the immense pleasure, the miraculous exchange involved simply in breathing. When you purify your mind, the air you exhale purifies all beings and all things. Your passage through this world will be a continuous fertilization.

“Now listen closely, my dearest soul child. There are two ways of sculpting: the way of artists and the way of the gods. Artists take a block of material and shape their creation from the outside to the inside, but the gods begin inside, from the center, the original source. From there, they concentrate and develop their creation of the body, from the inside to the outside. The viscera that spoke to you today are properly called viscera , not organs , because they live in the interior of your body. If they were on the surface, they could be called organs. For us women, our internal sex is visceral. But for you men, this viscera has become an organ. We feel our vulva as a creative center, whereas you feel your phallus as a sort of companion, a pleasurable tool, and you separate it from your emotional center. Now lie down. I am going to show you the roots of your sex.”

The massage that Magdalena now gave me had absolutely nothing to do with masturbation or erotic caresses. She had warned me before beginning: “Don’t misunderstand. Look at how I am massaging this foot — feel the quality of my hands. They are full of tenderness, you see? I am holding it as a mother holds her baby. . Now feel how I hold your genitals, and how the quality has not changed. It is the same maternal tenderness, protecting and caring. Don’t be afraid; let go of your defenses and any sense of shame. It’s perfectly normal to have an erection. Allow yourself to be handled, but do not seek pleasure. Instead, seek understanding.”

Magdalena took my penis with her right hand and pressed the index finger of her left hand onto the hole of the urethra. She exerted a vibrating pressure concentrated in the tip of her finger. I had the feeling that she was creating a tiny sun there that did not burn but radiated life. She then moved her finger down the upper part of the glans, tracing a line down to the pubis and up the body to my navel. Then she moved up to the solar plexus and continued upward the whole length of my body, finally stopping at the crown of my skull.