Джон Харгрейв - Mind Hacking [How to Change Your Mind for Good in 21 Days]

I lose my apartment. I can’t afford food. I have to live in a shopping cart under a bridge .

And then?

I waste away and die a miserable death .

Actually, this isn’t the worst -case scenario: that would involve an alien apocalypse, where the invaders keep her alive in an eternal state of unrelenting agony. But let’s not get silly.

The point, though, is that Francine will see her fear as a bit silly. Even if she went broke, she could file for bankruptcy or turn to her parents or friends for support. She would be able to get government assistance long before she ended up under a bridge. Still, feelings are persistent, even when we logically understand they’re silly.

So we take our fears to their extreme conclusions to help us identify the limiting belief . With greater clarity, Francine can now synthesize her thought loop into something like this:

It’s dangerous to spend money, because I will die a miserable death .

Or simply:

It’s dangerous to spend money .

In the next section, we’ll talk about how Francine can reprogram her mind using positive loops like It’s safe to spend money or, better yet, I have plenty of money . These new loops will eventually replace the old code and make Francine happier and more successful. She may still get angry with the parking attendant for overcharging her, but she’ll be able to keep it in perspective: one parking ticket does not mean catching rats for food.

Let’s take another example: Gary is a high school teacher in his early thirties who is looking for a partner. He had a date last night, which went well until he flubbed the good-bye by awkwardly going for a kiss, which went badly, as his date turned away at the last minute. He has been obsessing over this detail all day until he finally examines his thinking in an effort to get some relief.

What’s the worst-case scenario?

The worst-case scenario is that she doesn’t date me anymore. I really like her, and I will be crushed if she doesn’t feel the same way .

Feeling crushed doesn’t feel good, but this is nowhere near a worst-case scenario.

The worst-case scenario is that she never calls me back. This causes me to lose confidence, which women can detect immediately, and they start to become repelled by me. Eventually I give up completely and accept that I’m doomed to be completely alone. Worse yet, I live to be 108, outliving even my family and friends. So I die completely alone, with no one to hold my hand except the nursing home attendant who happens to be taking my blood pressure at the time .

Wow! At least Gary has an imagination. But if Gary looks closely at this story he’s just told, he should start to detect the underlying belief:

I’m no good with women .

Gary has to be careful with choosing his positive thought loop. A simple reversal ( I’m good with women ) can seem boring in comparison to alternatives like Women find me irresistible or I am magnetically sexy to women . These new loops can have enormous consequences in the direction of Gary’s life, so he must take great care when rewriting his mental code. More on this in Section 2, which we will get to shortly.

Method #3: Third-Person Perspective

A third method you can use to bring your dark thoughts into the light is taking the Third-Person Perspective. This method is as simple as asking yourself, If this was someone else’s problem, what would I say to that person?

Take the case of Haley, a married mother of two who frequently worries for her children. Most parents worry, but Haley has made an art form out of it, insisting that her kids wear helmets when sledding and stay inside during the summer because of the threat of ticks and Lyme disease.

One day, sick from worrying about her son’s report card, she decides to examine her thoughts. She imagines herself sitting across the kitchen table from herself , as if she were a friend. If she had to analyze the thought loop that was going through her friend’s head, what would it be?

Probably that her kids will get sick, or injured. Or worse .

What’s her problem loop?

The world is dangerous. But the world is dangerous!

What’s her problem loop in regard to her kids?

My kids are not safe unless I’m watching over them every minute .

And can she watch over them every minute?

No. Especially as they get older .

And should she watch over them every minute?

Sometimes, but no .

So what’s the positive equivalent of her negative thought loop?

My kids are safe .

How much better it feels to go through life thinking that your kids are fundamentally safe rather than expecting doom around every corner!

Now, it’s true that sometimes our kids do get sick and injured, so it may feel inaccurate or wrong to think, My kids are safe , especially if you have a deeply ingrained loop of My kids are not safe . But isn’t it far more accurate to believe that your kids are fundamentally safe than not safe? After all, most of us grow up okay, despite the inevitable sledding crashes and tick bites. For Haley, constantly repeating to herself My kids are not safe is simply not consistent with reality. It is a projected reality that Haley is capable of reprogramming herself.

When using the “Third-Person Perspective” technique, it may help you to imagine a friend sitting across the table, or it may help you to imagine a scientist, a great leader, or another trusted person of authority. In Napoleon Hill’s classic success book Think and Grow Rich , he told of a technique he used for years that he called the “Invisible Counselors.”

He first chose nine great men whose character he wished to emulate in his life: historical figures like Thomas Edison, Charles Darwin, and Ralph Waldo Emerson. Each night before he went to bed, he would close his eyes and imagine these legendary figures around a table with himself in charge as chairman of the group. He would often put his current problems before each of the characters, then ask his imaginary advisors to share their wisdom.

This was not just a problem-solving technique but a way that Hill used to rebuild his own character in the mold of these great men. Before addressing Abraham Lincoln, for example, he would butter him up by saying, “Mr. Lincoln, I desire to build into my own character the keen sense of justice, the untiring spirit of patience, the sense of humor, the human understanding, and the tolerance, which were your distinguishing characteristics.” 9

Night after night, Hill performed this mental exercise, and he found that each of the leaders began to develop his own personality. Lincoln would often arrive late, then walk around the table gravely with his hands clasped behind his back. Thomas Paine would often get in spirited arguments with the naturalist Luther Burbank. These imaginary meetings became so vivid that Hill temporarily discontinued them, concerned he would lose the ability to distinguish imagination from reality!

I’ve personally used the “Third-Person Perspective” to get help or advice from many of the geniuses you’ll read about in this book. I don’t believe I’m communicating telepathically or summoning the dead. I do believe, however, that a part of my mind already has the correct answer, and the “Third-Person Perspective” can be a useful way of logically tracing back my problem loop to its source so I can discover the answer for myself. Plus, it’s fun to discuss your problems with Yoda.

Getting to Bare METAL

For true geeks, bare metal is even sexier than bare skin.