Richard Bandler - Trance–formations. Neuro–Linguistic Programming™ and the Structure of Hypnosis

How would you make contact with a prizefighter? Any professional has to make certain motor programs automatic, just as most of you have automated driving a car until it functions as an unconscious program. In the boxing ring there are so many things you have to do that you need to make most of what you do unconscious. Your conscious attention can then be used to notice what's going on in the situation. My friend went back and started shadow boxing with this guy, and he quickly came out of the catatonic altered state that he'd been in for some years.

Woman: Did he start boxing when Frank started shadow boxing?

Yes of course. He didn't have a choice, because those were programs that he had practiced for years and years.

The main point of this is that my friend was able to notice the responses that he was getting. That made it possible for him to use his behavior to amplify them. If you don't notice the responses you are getting, everything else we're teaching you will be worthless.

Exercise 8

We want to start with a fairly easy calibration exercise to increase your ability to make sensory discriminations. Pair up and ask your partner to think of someone he likes. As he does this, watch for small changes in his breathing, posture, muscle tonus, skin color, etc. Then ask your partner to think of someone he dislikes, again watching what changes occur. Have him go back and forth between thinking of the person he likes and the one he dislikes until you can clearly see the differences between his expressions.

Next, ask a series of comparative questions in order to test your calibration. Ask "Which one is taller?" I don't want him to tell you the answer. Your job is to watch his response and then tell him which one it is.

Any comparative question will work for this: "Which one have you seen most recently?" "Which one has darker hair?" "Which one is heavier?" "Which one lives nearer to you?" "Which one makes more money?"

When you ask a question, your partner will go inside to process the question and get an answer. He may first consider the person he likes, then consider the person he doesn't like, and finally think of the person who is the answer to the question. So you may initially see some back and forth responses, and then you will see the response that answers the question. The answer will be the response you see just before he comes back out and looks at you or nods his head to indicate that he has determined the answer internally.

When you've guessed correctly four times in a row, switch roles with your partner. Take about five minutes each.

*****

As I went around the room, I noticed that most of you were doing very well. In fact, for some of you this was too easy. This will vary considerably from person to person, because some people are much more expressive than others. If you round your task too easy, there are several things you can do to make this something you can learn from.

One thing you can do is to artificially limit the information that you are receiving. If it's easy for you to discriminate differences on the basis of facial changes, use a notebook or something else to cover your partner's face. See if you can make the same discrimination by watching changes in his chest or his hands, or some other part of his body.

Another thing you can do is to ask about more neutral subjects.

"Think about a chair that you have in your home." "Mow think about a chair that you have in your office." This will also make the task a challenge again. Another way is to find someone who is generally less expressive. His responses will be less obvious.

On the other hand, if you didn't notice any differences in your partner when thinking about the two people, you can do something to make the task easier. Ask him to think of the most obnoxious, disgusting person he has ever met in his life. It helps if you do this with a congruent tone of voice. Then ask him to think of the person whom he loves most dearly in the whole world. This will exaggerate the differences between his responses, and make it easier for you to detect them. You could also find someone who is more expressive.

The point of this is to do whatever is necessary in order to make the task difficult enough so that it's just beyond what your capabilities were in the past. If you do that, you will learn the most, and increase your sensitivity most quickly.

Next we want you to do another calibration exercise to determine the nonverbal signals that go with agreement and disagreement. Pair up again and ask mundane questions conversationally. "Your name is Bob?" "Were you born in California?" "Are you married?" "Do you have a car?" Ask uncontroversial yes/ no questions and pay attention to his nonverbal responses as he gives you a verbal "yes" or "no." You learn what constitutes a "yes" response nonverbally by noticing what distinguishes the nonverbal responses that accompany "yes" from the ones that accompany "no."

Some people will spontaneously and unconsciously tense their jaw muscles for "no" and relax them for "yes." Some people will turn whiter for "no," and redder for "yes." Others will tilt their head forward when they say "yes" and back when they say "no." There are lots of idiosyncratic responses that you can notice which are already paired with agreement or disagreement.

When you can distinguish "yes 1" from "no" nonverbally, ask your partner not to answer your questions. After each question, observe the nonverbal response and tell your partner whether the answer is "yes" or "no." When you have guessed correctly four times in a row, switch roles with your partner.

Some of you may recognise what you just did as a conversational way to do what you did earlier in this workshop when you set up yes/no signals in trance. Being able to do it conversationally allows you to use this information at board meetings, and in many other contexts where it's inappropriate to induce a formal trance, but you want feedback from other people.

If you are a salesperson and have calibrated for "yes" and "no," you can know immediately when the potential buyer agrees or disagrees with what you say, even if the person says nothing. This means you know what selling points to emphasize and build on. You also know what points to drop, or what objections you may need to satisfy before you can make a sale.

If you are making a proposal to a board of directors, calibrating to "yes" and "no" can let you know exactly when to have the proposal voted on. You say to the group "Now I don't know if this proposal already makes sense as a beneficial plan for this organization." Then you pause, and watch to find out if most of the members give you a "yes" response. If you get yeses, you bring the proposal to an immediate vote. If you get noes, you continue to discuss the proposal until you find ways to get the agreement of the entire group.

I would like to give you another calibration exercise to do this evening. Carry on a normal conversation with someone who is not in this seminar. As you are talking, say something about him that you know is not true, and notice what his response is. A little later, say something about him that you know has to be true. It doesn't matter how mundane your comment is, just notice how he responds, and if this response is different from the first one. Go back and forth three or four times, until you can discern the difference between the way he responds to statements about himself that are true, and statements that are inaccurate.

I recommend that what you say about him not be derogatory. Say something complimentary that you know he doesn't think is true. That way he won't get mad at you, and you won't have to justify what you say. You can still provide yourself with the experience of making this calibration. You don't ever need to tell him what you're doing, and you don't ever have to do anything with this information. Just notice if there is a difference.