Брене Браун: Daring Greatly

BRENÉ BROWN PH.D., LMSW

Daring Greatly

How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

PENGUIN BOOKS

Contents

About the Author

What It means to Dare Greatly

Introduction:

My Adventures in the Arena

CHAPTER 1

Scarcity: Looking Inside Our Culture of “Never Enough”

CHAPTER 2

Debunking the Vulnerability Myths

CHAPTER 3

Understanding and Combating Shame

CHAPTER 4

The Vulnerability Armory

CHAPTER 5

Mind the Gap: Cultivating Change and Closing the Disengagement Divide

CHAPTER 6

Disruptive Engagement: Daring to Rehumanize Education and Work

CHAPTER 7

Wholehearted Parenting: Daring to Be the Adults We Want Our Children to Be

Final Thoughts

Appendix—Trust in Emergence: Grounded Theory and My Research Process

Practicing Gratitude

Notes and References

DARING GREATLY

‘One of the tragic ironies of modern life is that so many people feel isolated from each other by the very feelings they have in common, including a fear of failure and a sense of not being enough. Brené Brown shines a bright light into these dark recesses of emotion and reveals how these feelings can gnaw at fulfilment. She shows too how they can be transformed to help us live more wholehearted lives of courage, engagement and purpose. If you’re a student, teacher, parent, employer, employee or just alive and wanting to live more fully, you should read this book. I double dare you’

Sir Ken Robinson, New York Times bestselling author of The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything

‘ Daring Greatly is an important book – a timely warning about the danger of pursuing certainty and control above all. Brené Brown offers all of us a valuable guide to the real reward of vulnerability: greater courage’

Daniel Pink, New York Times bestselling author of Drive and A Whole New Mind

‘A wonderful book: urgent, essential and fun to read. I couldn’t put it down, and it continues to resonate with me’

Seth Godin, New York Times bestselling author of Purple Cow and The Icarus Deception

‘The brilliantly insightful Brené Brown draws upon extensive research and personal experience to explore the paradoxes of courage: we become strong by embracing vulnerability, we dare more greatly when we acknowledge our fear. I can’t stop thinking about this book’

Gretchen Rubin, New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project and Happiness at Home

‘The world needs more guides like Brené Brown. To set your course on being more courageous and connected, engaged and resilient, Daring Greatly is all the navigation you’ll need’

Maria Shriver, New York Times bestselling author of Just Who Will You Be?

‘The invitation in this book is clear: we must be larger than anxiety, fear and shame if we want to speak, act and show up. The world needs this book and Brené’s unique blend of warmth, humour and butt-kicking makes her the perfect person to inspire us to dare greatly’

Harriet Lerner, New York Times bestselling author of The Dance of Anger and Marriage Rules

‘Here’s the essence of this book: vulnerability is courage in you but inadequacy in me. Don’t for a moment think this is only for women. Men carry the burden of being strong and never weak, and pay a heavy price for it. Daring Greatly can help us all’

Michael Bungay Stanier, author of Do More Great Work

‘Brené dared greatly to write this book, and you will benefi t greatly to put its razor-sharp wisdom into action in your own life and work’

Elizabeth Lesser, New York Times bestselling author of Broken Open and co-founder of the Omega Institute

‘In an age of constant pressure to conform and pretend, Daring Greatly offers a compelling alternative: transform your life by being who you really are. Embrace the courage to be vulnerable. Dare to read this book!’

Chris Guillebeau, New York Times bestselling author of The $100 Startup

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW is a Number One New York Times bestselling author and a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. Her groundbreaking work was featured on Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday , NPR, and CNN. Her TED talk is one of the top ten most watched TED talks of all time, with almost 10 million views. Brené is also the author of The Gifts of Imperfection and I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) .

To Steve

You make the world a better place

and me a braver person.

What it means to Dare Greatly

THE phrase Daring Greatly is from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech “Citizenship in a Republic.” The speech, sometimes referred to as “The Man in the Arena,” was delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France, on April 23, 1910. This is the passage that made the speech famous:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,

because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;

who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. …”

The first time I read this quote, I thought, This is vulnerability. Everything I’ve learned from over a decade of research on vulnerability has taught me this exact lesson. Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in .

Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.

When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make.

Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience. We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be—a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation—with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly.

Join me as we explore the answers to these questions:

What drives our fear of being vulnerable?

How are we protecting ourselves from vulnerability?

What price are we paying when we shut down and disengage?