HOW MANY WITTGENSTEINS CAN DANCE ON THE HEAD OF A PIN?
A number of semishabbily dressed (but thoughtful-looking) people gather in a room, silently looking at a guest speaker. They are all professional philosophers attending the prestigious weekly colloquium at a New York–area university. The speaker sits with his nose drowned in a set of typewritten pages, from which he reads in a monotone voice. He is hard to follow, so I daydream a bit and lose his thread. I can vaguely tell that the discussion revolves around some “philosophical” debate about Martians invading your head and controlling your will, all the while preventing you from knowing it. There seem to be several theories concerning this idea, but the speaker’s opinion differs from those of other writers on the subject. He spends some time showing where his research on these head-hijacking Martians is unique. After his monologue (fifty-five minutes of relentless reading of the typewritten material) there is a short break, then another fifty-five minutes of discussion about Martians planting chips and other outlandish conjectures. Wittgenstein is occasionally mentioned (you can always mention Wittgenstein since he is vague enough to always seem relevant).
Every Friday, at four P.M., the paychecks of these philosophers will hit their respective bank accounts. A fixed proportion of their earnings, about 16 percent on average, will go into the stock market in the form of an automatic investment into the university’s pension plan. These people are professionally employed in the business of questioning what we take for granted; they are trained to argue about the existence of god(s), the definition of truth, the redness of red, the meaning of meaning, the difference between the semantic theories of truth, conceptual and nonconceptual representations … Yet they believe blindly in the stock market, and in the abilities of their pension plan manager. Why do they do so? Because they accept that this is what people should do with their savings, because “experts” tell them so. They doubt their own senses, but not for a second do they doubt their automatic purchases in the stock market. This domain dependence of skepticism is no different from that of medical doctors (as we saw in Chapter 8).
Beyond this, they may believe without question that we can predict societal events, that the Gulag will toughen you a bit, that politicians know more about what is going on than their drivers, that the chairman of the Federal Reserve saved the economy, and so many such things. They may also believe that nationality matters (they always stick “French,” “German,” or “American” in front of a philosopher’s name, as if this has something to do with anything he has to say). Spending time with these people, whose curiosity is focused on regimented on-the-shelf topics, feels stifling.
Where Is Popper When You Need Him?
I hope I’ve sufficiently drilled home the notion that, as a practitioner, my thinking is rooted in the belief that you cannot go from books to problems, but the reverse, from problems to books. This approach incapacitates much of that career-building verbiage. A scholar should not be a library’s tool for making another library, as in the joke by Daniel Dennett.
Of course, what I am saying here has been said by philosophers before, at least by the real ones. The following remark is one reason I have inordinate respect for Karl Popper; it is one of the few quotations in this book that I am not attacking.
The degeneration of philosophical schools in its turn is the consequence of the mistaken belief that one can philosophize without having been compelled to philosophize by problems outside philosophy. … Genuine philosophical problems are always rooted outside philosophy and they die if these roots decay. … [emphasis mine] These roots are easily forgotten by philosophers who “study” philosophy instead of being forced into philosophy by the pressure of nonphilosophical problems.
Such thinking may explain Popper’s success outside philosophy, particularly with scientists, traders, and decision makers, as well as his relative failure inside of it. (He is rarely studied by his fellow philosophers; they prefer to write essays on Wittgenstein.)
Also note that I do not want to be drawn into philosophical debates with my Black Swan idea. What I mean by Platonicity is not so metaphysical. Plenty of people have argued with me about whether I am against “essentialism” (i.e., things that I hold don’t have a Platonic essence), if I believe that mathematics would work in an alternative universe, or some such thing. Let me set the record straight. I am a no-nonsense practitioner; I am not saying that mathematics does not correspond to an objective structure of reality; my entire point is that we are, epistemologically speaking, putting the cart before the horse and, of the space of possible mathematics, risk using the wrong one and being blinded by it. I truly believe that there are some mathematics that work, but that these are not as easily within our reach as it seems to the “confirmators.”
The Bishop and the Analyst
I am most often irritated by those who attack the bishop but somehow fall for the securities analyst—those who exercise their skepticism against religion but not against economists, social scientists, and phony statisticians. Using the confirmation bias, these people will tell you that religion was horrible for mankind by counting deaths from the Inquisition and various religious wars. But they will not show you how many people were killed by nationalism, social science, and political theory under Stalinism or during the Vietnam War. Even priests don’t go to bishops when they feel ill: their first stop is the doctor’s. But we stop by the offices of many pseudo-scientists and “experts” without alternative. We no longer believe in papal infallibility; we seem to believe in the infallibility of the Nobel, though, as we saw in Chapter 17.
Easier Than You Think: The Problem of Decision Under Skepticism
I have said all along that there is a problem with induction and the Black Swan. In fact, matters are far worse: we may have no less of a problem with phony skepticism.
I can’t do anything to stop the sun from nonrising tomorrow (no matter how hard I try),
I can’t do anything about whether or not there is an afterlife,
I can’t do anything about Martians or demons taking hold of my brain.
But I have plenty of ways to avoid being a sucker. It is not much more difficult than that.
I conclude Part Three by reiterating that my antidote to Black Swans is precisely to be noncommoditized in my thinking. But beyond avoiding being a sucker, this attitude lends itself to a protocol of how to act—not how to think, but how to convert knowledge into action and figure out what knowledge is worth. Let us examine what to do or not do with this in the concluding section of this book.

Chapter Nineteen

HALF AND HALF, OR HOW TO GET EVEN WITH THE BLACK SWAN
The other half—Remember Apelles—When missing a train can be painful

It is now time for a few last words.
Half the time I am a hyperskeptic; the other half I hold certainties and can be intransigent about them, with a very stubborn disposition. Of course I am hyperskeptic where others, particularly those I call bildungsphilisters , are gullible, and gullible where others seem skeptical. I am skeptical about confirmation—though only when errors are costly—not about disconfirmation. Having plenty of data will not provide confirmation, but a single instance can disconfirm. I am skeptical when I suspect wild randomness, gullible when I believe that randomness is mild.
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