Ihar Navitski - Confession of the kept woman

The day to get acquainted with the subject of my desire came. His name was Alexey. Upon closer inspection, his figure was even better. How did our acquaintance happen? In the student cafeteria. He paid for my compote. I did not have enough money and, standing in line after me (of course, I arranged it so that he would be in line after me), Alexey, as a gallant guy, paid the missing amount. The first minutes after meeting were very stressful. He was a little worried, I was also worried. Because of this excitement, I did not notice how my dress rose a couple of centimeters above the limit. Alexey was already tense, and then my chiseled legs appeared before his eyes. How not to worry if you are a guy?! We exchanged template phrases and dispersed into audiences. For the rest of the school day, I reproached myself for acting like a fool. But in vain: Alexey waited for me on the porch and escorted me home. We walked around the park and everything was wonderful. I did not think about anything. I was fascinated by Alexey. When he looked at the bottom of his stomach, there was such a sweet feeling that I wanted to surrender to him right here in the park, on the yellow fallen leaves. This can not be described in words. This must be felt.

So time flew by, and evening came. Alexey lived on the other side of the city, but if he had called me to visit then, I would go without hesitation. However, he did not do this, for which I am grateful to him. I think that if he were to call me then, our relationship would be short-lived.

I fell in love… For me, the world turned upside down. Now I really want to return to this autumn park and correct a lot in my life. But, alas, it’s too late, my train is moving to the terminal station. And then I loved. Sex with a loved one is not even sex, but really making love. It seems to me that it is necessary to strictly distinguish between these concepts. Sex and love. I do not want to say that Alexey was a macho man in bed, but I felt very good with him. Those moments of intimacy that life gave us were the most desirable for me. He was courteous and did not ask unnecessary questions, such as where and when I lost my virginity. And for this, a special thanks to him. At that time I was so sorry that Alexey was not my first man.

A year flew. We met, confessed love to each other. We were happy. Father increasingly began to apply to the bottle. I did not notice the degradation of my dear person. I did not notice how my mother, still a young woman, turns into an old woman under the weight of problems. I loved Alexey. We wanted to get married. But then an obstacle arose in the form of a summons to the army. Olga persuaded me to wait with the wedding. In her own way she was right. Alexey was upset. His parents, who were behind our relationship with him, were also upset. For them, I was a good girl. Besides being very attractive, I’m not stupid either.

We decided to wait. Alexey went to repay his homeland. On the wires to the army, we again vowed to love each other until death, I changed several handkerchiefs that were wet from tears. And then went the waiting time. No, I really waited for Alexey.

So a month passed, then the second, third. A girl named Veronica joined our company. She was the opposite of Olga. They were both plus and minus, but Veronica turned my whole life upside down. She was a few years older. She had more life experience than we put together. This is what she bribed me with. Gradually, I began to move away from Olga. She started dating a guy, their business went to a wedding and a quiet family life.

Veronica awakened in me everything that had fallen before. Student gatherings have become uninteresting for me. I was more and more attracted by new fashion items and attracted colorful storefronts. No, I still answered Alexey’s letters. Waiting for him and did not pay attention to other men. But, frankly, inside of me the first feeling for Alexey was fading more and more. I do not know why this happened. Maybe because I gradually changed my life priorities.

Under the influence of the Veronikin charms, I increasingly wanted to have the same blouse as hers, or lipstick. How and when a change occurred in me, I did not notice. I turned into a completely different Svetlana. No, I remained responsive and kind, but more and more often I was drawn to leaving home. I so did not want to see the drunk father and listen to constant scandals that I ran. I just ran to where I seemed to understand. I ran to Veronica. Together we began to spend much more time.

Olga and I met only in the classroom. I can’t forget our last conversation with her before a long breakup. Olga got married. With her husband, they were going to leave that country, which had not yet been. It was at the beginning of spring. We phoned and agreed to meet at our place. Olga arrived, as usual, without delay. A couple of template phrases, piercing Holguin’s look and just one word: «Think it over». At that moment, I told her too much, like, you are leaving for a better life, you are leaving me and etc. So we parted for many years. After fate will bring us together in one of the hotels in Turkey. It was about a couple of years after our last conversation. At that time, Turkey was just opening its tourist routes, and among the CIS countries this direction was an indicator of prosperity and well-being. But after our last student conversation I was very offended by Olga. She was leaving for Germany. Any foreign country at that time was a paradise for us. Later, when another five years was added to my years, I realized that Olga wanted a better life for her family. And she got it. Her husband, a programmer with a capital letter, was able to provide a decent life to Olga and the children. She became a housewife and devoted herself entirely to the family. I began to provide myself with a decent life in a different way. No, do not stand on the panel, but, in principle, if you look, it’s not far from this and left.

In those years, business began to grow rapidly. It could be called a business conditionally. It was more and more like eagerness, but there became more and more rich men. And it should be noted very rich. Veronica and I have become very attractive women for males. What is left of my past life? Maybe only appearance. Father is gone. Mother closed herself. I supported her as I could. I almost forgot about Alexei. I did not notice how time flew by, and he returned from the army. I haven’t written to him in recent months. I did not know what to write to him about. I had a different life, and I became different. That little Candy, as he liked to call me, was gone.

We met with Alexey almost by accident. He was waiting for me on the street. Unfortunately, it started to rain, and I did not want to get wet. The conversation was empty. But Alexey’s eyes were not empty. They seemed to say: «Well, why exactly?!» It even seemed to me that they were full of tears, only the rain did not make it clear whether this was so. We broke up. I did not have such man as Alexey for all my life.

How strange life is. What we have – we do not value, when we lose – we cry. No, then I did not cry. Cried after many years. Fate no longer gave me such a man as Alexey, nor such a friend as Olga. Who is guilty? Me myself. What happened to the fate of Alexei? I only know that he is doing well. The kids are growing up, the wife is smart and beautiful…

I began to appear less and less at home. Mom helped financially. How did I make a living? Now it is called an escort service. Here it is necessary to tell more about this.

As I said above, very rich men began to appear in the open spaces of the former USSR. They did not have time to look after the girls, they wanted to go straight to the point. And it was not about bed. At least men who offered to buy us for one night were sorted right away. We were interested in men who needed to be accompanied by a beautiful young girl. So they raised their inner self. Moreover, if the girl is smart, then she could also support the conversation or participate as an outside observer at a business meeting. And we were smart.