Rolia Kama - Way to stars – 3. Sentence

© Rolia Kama, 2020

ISBN 978-5-4498-8391-9 (т. 3)

ISBN 978-5-4498-6461-1

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Well, that ended the debate between the parties, which lasted four months. For three years we fought for our lives, for the lives of our loved ones, otherwise we can’t name it. Lose the long years of your life for nothing that did not commit?! Throw their children and old parents to survive, without their participation and help?! We proved our innocence, uncovered the illegal actions of the investigation, but also understood that the number of interested parties in condemning us increased. Since, in the case of our acquittal, an official investigation would have begun to falsify the case. Nevertheless, we hoped for justice and humanity.

When I came to the pronouncement of the verdict, they searched me, before this was not the case, a bad feeling, but I drive away bad thoughts.

We chose a court of three judges, although Andrei suggested choosing a court with court assessors, but Anya and I assumed that it would be easier to intimidate and bribe ordinary people, and it would be more difficult to bribe the customer with three judges of the Supreme Court.

The presiding judge, Shirimey (amended), began to announce the verdict. I did not want to believe my ears – the judge announced the guilty verdict. Everything went through my thoughts, disappointment, the hope for justice, hatred, fear for the future, concern for children collapsed, my eyes filled with tears, I did not want to believe my ears. I looked at Anna standing next to me. She turned to me, she also cried, and told me:

“Yes, Rola, they announce the conviction.”

My soul screamed. “Oh Lord, what is going on, they read the guilty verdict, mom they condemn us, fear God. Lord, what they do, they know that we are not guilty. Dad, mom help. Lord punish them. My tears, the tears of my parents, children and my husband, will fill your life and the life of all your descendants. I curse everyone involved in this custom-made business, your family will be destroyed in suffering, grief and injustice.”

“Help, I’m scared, they condemn us, what they do…” I am sending such an incoherent message to my parents, children, and my dear Sanya.

Beloved, you probably felt, because I hear a call from you. I do not accept the call, and you call again and again. The judge, still announcing the verdict, we were allowed to sit down. Finally, I decided to take your call, but I can’t speak, my sore throat is stuck.

– Do not turn off the phone, let it hear.

Anya told me. After a long listening session, you realized what was going on here, and disconnected yourself.

All thoughts and feelings can not be described in words. I am sure that, after the Stalinist repressions, the same thing was felt. All law and all power is false. The whole consciousness that I lived up to 41 years old turned out to be a deception, an illusion. How to live further, and whether there will be life, is it worth living when they are sentenced to 20 years for a crime that they did not commit? I want to scream out loud. But one must live in order to fight, I need my children, parents, you, I will not calm down until I reach an excuse. Different thoughts climb into my head, everything moved.

“I appeal to everyone who has made a career on our tears, the tears of our children, our parents, on the death of our loved ones – damn you, neither you nor your children will see anything good in this life”

Through my thoughts I hear that the pronouncement of the sentence is being softened, the illegal actions of the preliminary investigation are noted – these are the results of our judicial complaints during the preliminary investigation and tight defense in court. But, all the same, we were condemned, from 8 to 10 years. It’s good that I’m not 20, I reassure myself, and I hope that the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation will justify us.

We are in prison again. In the prison, the boxes are jammed, and Anna and I were left to stand in the corridor. While we were waiting in the corridor for the release of boxing and employees for a search, we brought another stage. One of the imprisoned men asked:

– Have you been detained from a banquet?

– No, we came from the court.

I answered. The man examined us carefully from head to toe.

I was wearing a long dress, light lilac light and dark lilac shoes, covered in thin stretchable material with a floral motif in high heels. Anya was dressed in a light green skirt and jacket set, in a light blouse, and in shoes.

It feels like the employees are not new, that we again appeared in prison. And when I went into the cell, one of the women said that they were looking forward to us in prison. I held back, my anger surging inside. The prisoners needed us to help them on the case, on sentences. Of course, they did not know about the force of gravity of thought, everyone is interested in his release.

The cell is in the same situation as before, there are no women from the former women. I was at home for one year and two months, and now I get the impression that I did not leave prison. Because there was practically no life. She woke up at six o’clock, did a jog, managed the housework herself, as she could not, as before, allow the technical equipment and workers in the garden. I put myself in order and went to court.. In the evening after the trial, I returned home, went to court as if to my work. Again household chores, until late at night I was sitting at the papers, getting ready for trial. In addition, it was necessary, at least somehow, to earn a living, her husband’s pension was enough, only for food. Sometimes even a bus, before the trial, did not have enough money, because with such a schedule and constant worries to consider the case, it is impossible to maintain a relationship with her husband, not to mention sex. Only a loving person can be patient with such a life. I naively said, “Be patient my dear, we will be acquitted and everything will be fine with us.”

Last week, I asked my mother to send the children to us. Mom, every summer she gathered her grandchildren at home. Our house came to life with children’s laughter, the smell of life appeared in the house. How good it was for us last week – the granddaughter runs around the house, three nephews from five to twelve years old and my adult daughters. This week, I was incredibly happy. Great happiness, when there are children nearby, they give life force, inspiration, as if I came to life.

Now hope for appeal in Moscow. The power of hope prolongs life. An innocent man, in spite of all the limitless obstacles, will always fight, and hope for an excuse. At least I was from such natures.

I received a phone at night, I call and reassure you, I say to the children that I am appealing the verdict, and the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation will acquit. Did I know that today I kissed you the last time, and now, the last time I hear your voice.

It’s good that I have children who are not wise by age. They did not ask me questions about my guilt or not guilt. I was offended that their consciousness of the state, of justice, had changed, although they did not tell me about this. My children, like me, are brought up in deep love and respect for the state, for life. Today they carefully listened to my words:

“I am happy that you are so clever and most beautiful.” What happened to me is not terrible justice, it is not the fault of the policy of the state as a whole, it is just the actions of individuals. You are wise girls, I think that you will make the right conclusions in what happened.

Further life in prison went at its usual pace. In the cell, besides me, are two convicted women. One, later with a laugh, told how during the drinking of alcohol she killed her friend, and her little child cried, stained with the blood of her mother. People like her cannot be let into life; she cannot be corrected. Another Lena, a Russian with an accomplice, killed a drinking companion. I talked more with the last woman.