Райса Каримбаева - Quarantine. A book of stories and poems

– Pee-pee-peepy!!!

And then I realized what was the matter! Eh! Where ours did not disappear! I pulled a roll of toilet paper out of my bag and smiled, understanding everything. handed it to her, they say, take it, do not hesitate… What is really there,,. anything can happen!

In response, she pulled off her muzzle and, to my surprise, screamed to the whole audience:

– Security! Get this madman out! My strength is gone!

I- What happened? – Asked the guard.

_ – Yes, I ask him, do you have a certificate? Surname name what they say? Open an account or something …? And he sends me three letters, and even shoves a roll of toilet paper in the face! Get him out, or I’ll throw him out of here right now! – the aunt was so angry that her hands were shaking, and her eyes were red and completely out of their sockets, foam was flowing from her mouth and she herself looked like a dog that would now devour me along with giblets. “If it was only one person, I still have a whole queue to eat!” She shouted incessantly.

Before I could say a word, they kicked me out of the bank with a kick in the ass!

Just those times… It’s my fault if I haven’t eaten porridge myself in the morning! He can barely speak… I would say clearly and clearly at once! Come on! Can’t you understand these women!

Soaking wet under the shower, I got to the other mail.

What to do? it must be so. Look, grandmothers, they always hang out in line. Why not me too? Came up, took the line, I’m waiting! I’m waiting for two hours…

Here the sock, that is to say, the muzzle mask, threw out of anger, but then, thinking it over, picked it up and crumpled it up and put it in my pocket.

Two heads in front of them in headscarves fought. One, under the pretext of “asking something,” slipped forward and received her money.

Another caught up with her and grabbed her by the handkerchief, threw her to the ground and began to bludgeon her with all her might.

Everyone stood and no one intervened. Barely breaking free, beaten, with tousled hair, crumpled, in a torn coat and without a mask, unhappy, whining, crawled out of the entrance and walked away. The other, proudly, victoriously, with her head raised high, entered, as if on a throne, and sat down on the only chair. The others stood in silence.

There were no more scenes.

Silently pulling my smelly sock-mask over my face, and barely holding back so as not to pull it straight to the floor, I went to the checkout…

I was standing at the checkout for some business. Recently it became known that the government is handing over 42,500. There were rumors that only those people would be handed over. who worked during the period of the virus. was left out of work, that is, was sent on unpaid leave. And so everyone who worked was served. And this one is correct, the person worked, it doesn’t matter. that he has a salary of 500 thousand, he will receive, and those. those who did not work will continue to live. They lived before and will live on. Since I was unemployed, I didn’t even think about going for benefits. Not allowed. And it’s a shame to ask the government for help. Young, healthy I will somehow live. They even said that those women who are not allowed in the decree, only up to a year… And that’s true. The child is already a year old, you can go to work, and the child will look after himself, he will change his own diapers, and he will make his own porridge! That’s right! So I thought, but my mother persuaded me to apply and I, not even ashamed, went to the bank. And what my surprise was that I, it turns out, am one of the lucky ones who receive, albeit one-time, but help. joyful with such overwhelming news, I caught my fat cat, who was hiding from me, jumping on the refrigerator and staunchly defending myself, as from a fascist, and pulled him out for a walk for the thirtieth time in a day.

—

In a cell phone there is as if some sort of drunken man is sitting as a lord, who does not know Russian and speaks, or rather writes in Chinese. That’s for sure! So, today I wanted to talk to a friend of mine about painful problems. I want to write to her that I am sitting in prose and mail ru. I regularly enter text into the typing window in my phone, gently poking my finger over the letters. Has entered, like everything is correct, checked. Sent. The phone says in a blue square from me: “Rustam otin, male prose, miilya…”

I haven’t read that the smartphone has issued and I’m sitting so smart and smart, until I got confusion from my friend: “What other male prose and Who is Rustam Otin in general? Have you met long ago?”

After reading the message, I quietly fall into horror and slowly slide off my chair… But I myself do not know who Rustam Otin is! I look again at the message and check: suddenly she was mistaken. Not. all right. It turns out I wrote to her, or rather, my phone! What will people think of me now? That I sit all day in male prose with some Rustam Otin?! Reading in men’s magazines! I don’t know him myself! And I don’t look at men’s magazines at all, but I go around them for kilometers! I make excuses, I write that this is a mistake, that this is a telephone… He doesn’t believe.. He giggles… Okay, somehow we’ll digest… I’m trying to change the conversation topic about shopping.

I am writing to her that I will have to send money through Russia. I make sure that there are no incidents. I wrote everything exactly. I poke on the send key. Telephone:

The sixth miiilya Russian yuyuyuyu!!!

Am I so glad I ran six miles?

Yes, I, to be honest, have not been running in the morning for a long time… I even felt ashamed..

Telephone:

– All… glitch-glitch-glitch!!

Like I am swimming somewhere with the same Rustam at sea.

For the last glitch, I was ready to kill this phone at all! But…

Having passed on its last “glue-glue-glue”, the cunning phone lit up with a caustic dark red light, they say it wants to eat, charging is at zero and stalled!

I AM:

– During! Otherwise I would have thrown it in the trash!

But the phone knows I won’t throw it away. I gave 80,000 in blood for him! They will kill me at home, devour me with giblets, they say begged, ached for a whole year “buy” and “buy”, and now in the trash?! This is such money!

An acquaintance from our whole conversation with her understood that I had just problems and even big ones… I suspect what she was thinking…

And what is the phone? Lies calmly and does not blow in the mustache! I’m already afraid to approach him! No matter how my relatives read SMS… or rather the phone!

We have been selling our apartment for three or four years and cannot sell it in any way. At the beginning, our apartment was an ordinary Soviet three-ruble note in a house. built during the heyday of the Soviet Union. There was nothing ordinary about her. The announcement of the sale of the apartment hung in the most visible place – on the window overlooking a busy highway. This area of;;the city is the most respectable, the most “fashionable” and then it seemed to us that it would not be difficult to sell an apartment. But as it turned out, this is not at all the case… People just came and went without saying a word… There was a kind of emptiness, hopelessness and despair in their eyes, and some even disgust, that very contemptuous “Fu!”

Tired of everything, Alik, grabbing another leaving customer by the floor of his jacket, shouted in his hearts: