Tsvetana Alеkhina - Collection of mysticism. + author’s biography including essays about books

© Tsvetana Alеkhina, 2022

ISBN 978-5-0056-1862-7

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

When I opened my eyes and looked around, it took me a while to figure out where I was. My face and hands were stinging from the injury. When I came to myself, I realized that I was in a hospital room. There were four beds in the ward, two of which were vacant my neighbor was opposite me. Remembering recent events, I could not make up the whole picture. I could not believe what I saw. Alternatively, was it a terrible dream? Alternatively, just hallucinations from the cold? The last thing I remember is that I was alone in an unfamiliar area; it was like an icy plain, a blizzard was circling around, and a beautiful woman was standing in front of me and mercilessly laughing at me. I closed my eyes and began to remember what had happened to me.

Various episodes surfaced in my memories, in one of which I remember the kingdom of the underworld. I was standing in a clearing covered with moss; it looked like an age-old jungle. There was a fire burning in the clearing, little men were running around the fire and squeaking disgustingly, they looked more like a bat. An old woman was standing near the fire; she was saying something and throwing wood on the fire. She looked like a beggar, covered with an old decrepit blanket, her body was covered with terrible scars, and her breasts hung down to her stomach. I pressed myself against an oak tree and watched the whole picture, not understanding how I got here. It was like a Sabbath. These evil spirits did not seem to notice me, and I did not want them to notice me. At the same time, it seemed to me that they were pretending not to notice me. The old woman glanced in my direction from time to time and poured some ashes into the fire. I was shaking all over from what was happening, and I just wanted to disappear from this place. Not even to run, but to disappear. I was afraid to move, so that no one would notice me. Suddenly, the fire suddenly went out, the little demons ran screaming. The whole picture disappeared and a blizzard rose. The clearing, covered with moss, turned into a winter garden. I stood huddled against the oak tree, not understanding what was happening, and it became even scarier for me. I began to shake from the cold, and my soul was shaking with icy fear. The blizzard began to subside, and turned into a damn beautiful, fatal, insidious woman. At the same moment, the winter garden and all its inhabitants disappeared, and I found myself alone with this woman on an icy plain. Then my visions were mixed up, and I leaned back on the pillow with my eyes closed.

I fell into a deep sleep, hoping to see and remember who this woman was once again. Her beauty threw me off balance. I woke up in deep disappointment. I did not dream anything. The only joy was that I was able to get out of bed, and even hang my legs off the bed. The face and hands made themselves felt less. After examining the ward, this time more carefully, it seemed quite cozy to me. The walls are cream-colored. Bright windows and pleasant curtains created a homely atmosphere. Taking a deep breath, I looked towards the front door, it immediately opened, and I shuddered. My neighbor came in, I immediately remembered him when I saw him for the first time. I have a good visual memory.

The neighbor greeted me affably. – From the timid? He said these words in jest, and I did not know what to answer. I could not tell what I had experienced. Moreover, was it a reality?

– Yes, no. Just thinking. I realized that my neighbor is simple, with a heightened sense of humor. We talked with him a little bit, and we did not even get to know each other. I went out into the corridor and walked around a bit, stood by the window. It was a fierce winter outside the window, and another picture presented itself to me.

I remembered that I tried to escape from the clearing, to find shelter, but a blizzard caught me and carried me away. She took it away like some kind of kitten. I could not understand if this really happens. I remembered that I was actually flying. I was even ashamed to mention it to someone. I returned to the ward, began to remember how it all started, where I am, and how I got here.

Returning to the ward, I sat down on my bed. My neighbor across the street was doing a crossword puzzle. After asking me the answer to one of the questions, he got a question instead. – How did I end up here?

– Two friends brought you. I think you fell asleep on the street and frostbitten your limbs. That is all I know.

– And how long ago?

– Tonight.

It made me feel better that it was not a week. Memory was returning. I got into my nightstand, and found a cell phone, though discharged, documents and some money. After having dinner with a neighbor, I joined him to solve a crossword puzzle. A nurse came into the room and smeared my hands and face with some kind of cream. Then she left, slamming the door.

– This is an evil person. Tomorrow the good one will come, the neighbor said with an ironic smile. Smiling back, I began to get ready for bed. – Why are you so scared? All somewhat intimidated? Who offended you here?

– No. I replied dryly.

– What is your name?

– Victor.

– My name is Vova. Tell me what happened. Maybe I can help.

I wanted so much to tell everything to the first person I met, but I was afraid that they would laugh at me. In addition, I could not. Instead, I asked a new friend for a charger. Turning on the phone, I quickly wrote a letter to my sister, forgetting about the time difference. The next day my friends came to me and told me how they had saved me.

When I returned to my room, I literally bumped into Vova. —Did they do that to you?» I realized that Vova would not let his friends offend, and would not leave me alone. I sat down on the edge of the bed and, not knowing how to begin, began my story.

I flew to Norilsk to visit my grandmother’s grave. This year she had an anniversary of ten years. Our grandmother lived in Norilsk all her life, and my sister and I only occasionally flew with my mother to visit my grandmother. Sometimes Grandma came to visit us. My sister could not fly with me because she has two children. I still have childhood friends in Norilsk, with whom I played when I flew to my grandmother. They welcomed me with joy, and I stayed with them.

Remembering my grandmother, my friends and I laughed at the stories she told me as a child. These stories were like fiction, but my grandmother assured me that it was true. When I arrived at the cemetery, I started looking for my grandmother’s grave and got lost. My friends stayed at home. I corresponded with my sister on the Internet; she helped me to look for her grave. Then I failed. I remember exactly that I was standing near an abandoned grave, the earth split into two parts, and I fell into the abyss. It seemed to me that I had fallen into hell, but it must be hot in hell, and I ended up in an ice cave. From my heat, there were vapors until I began to be covered with an icy crust. I decided I was dead. Grandma’s spirit took me away. She must have been offended that I did not find her grave. I got up and went to look for a way out. I walked through the snow tunnel as if through a maze that did not end. My legs gave way and I fell.

I woke up in a clearing covered with moss. I told my friend about the fire, and everything that happened in the clearing, and how I saw the woman. Then I fell and woke up in the same place by an abandoned unmarked grave. Deciding that I was freezing, I began to look for a way out. The weather for this time of year was quite calm, windless, and the minus was not big.