Павел Миллер - The Power of Time

Max felt dizziness again, sighted and returned to the cooled off dumplings.

– I don’t understand why he doesn’t like high-school so much? Why doesn’t he want to get education?

– He does not want to waste time: right now he could be finishing a tenth grade, and by summer – eleventh grade, right? If he drops out of school now, he would waste a whole year. Next year you will be more then happy to see him study in college, and he will go there – but will drop out of it as well: for another year he would have to go through the same easy and annoying school program that he is sick of. Do you see the result of your actions now? – chewing the last dumpling, Maxim replied. – And now you ask me if I can help you. How? Yes, I can talk to him but it is not going to change the situation? We can’t turn back the time, you can’t make him go to school and exactly in a year he will drop out of college. And then you will remember the conversation we are having now. Am I right?

– So what should we do Maximochka? I have no idea how to talk to him and what to talk about. He does not want to listen to me at all, can you understand that?

– I know, but you should have thought about that before. What can we change now? We can’t change him. Whatever he decides, this is what he will do.

Margarita Leonidovna burst in tears, waited for the tear to run down the cheek, and only then wiped it off, trying not to smudge mascara off. She was quite (what else could she do?) and did not even noticed Max’s sister coming in, brining the cake and taking away salad and dumplings plates.

– Maxim, please, try to think of other ideas!

– There is no need to cry: since I promised you, I would try again. But you have to remember that Roma will take his own decision. I know him well and already informed you of how I see the situation develop. Our conversation won’t change things much.

Doors of the room opened and leaded by his mom a crowd of guests came in. Taking Margarita Leonidovna by hand, she said:

– Rita, let’s go dancing; we have been waiting for you for ages… What is wrong? – She saw Margarita’s tears. – Maxim! What did you do again?

– I didn’t have enough time – you interrupted me, – Max said bitterly and turned away from the leisured crowd (he could not find another word for them). He became infuriated by the dialog, closed his eyes and waited for everyone to leave.

– I’ll be back in a second! I need to finish a talk with Maxim! Can you please leave the room!

However, no one left. Then Margarita Leonidovna left the room herself and everyone, except Max’s mom, followed her.

– Hey, it is ok son! Did you get dinner?

– Yes, mom, everything is fine, don’t worry. I feel good.

– Get some sleep, you are very weak…

Falling asleep, Max felt that someone sat on the bed and hugged him. He figured that it was Margarita Leonidovna again and wanted to say something, but energies were gone…

Maxim saw another dream about his favorite teacher. However, this dream was strange: he could not see her face but was able to feel and understand that something is worrying her. He saw the teacher on the passenger sit of a car and at the steering wheel – a person who looked extremely familiar, but could not recognize him. Maxim felt how something very crucial was taking place. The car is speeding, situation is getting dangerous… Tossing and turning, he was exhausted from his debility. He made an effort to perceive the essence of the problem again, but failed. «Probably, it is too early», – he thought and at the very next moment he could clearly see how cars crashed. All covered with sweat, forgetting about broken foot, Max sat on the bed abruptly causing himself severe pain. For a couple of minutes, he kept on sitting on the bed, relaxing a foot and waiting for the pain to calm down.

– Hey! Did you get rest? – Maxim heard Roman’s voice but instead of turning to him he just asked:

– Do you have an idea why I keep seeing an empty baby crib near the house porch?

– I have absolutely no idea how to explain that!

«More then likely those dreams are connected, the key is to understand them completely», – Maxim thought.

– Roma, have you been to school yesterday?

– Yes, Svetlana Victorovna took a sick leave.

– Recently? – Maxim felt tingling in his body.

– She hasn’t been at school for two weeks so far and all of her classes are cancelled.

Roman kept on talking but Maxim thought of Svetlana Victorovna. He has loved her for many years, but that love has not given her any benefits. Hmm, what kind of benefits can it offer to the married woman? How is the baby crib connected with it? Could it be the answer? Maxim had a feeling that love is growing stronger and stronger and realized that only Svetlana Victorovna has the ability to love like that. He tried to imagine where she was at the moment and what she was thinking about. Should he be thinking about it now?

Do you listen to me? I have a feeling that I am talking to myself and you belong to your world.

Max didn’t hear his friend again. He apprehended that at that specific moment, weak and sick, not ready for anything, he had to accept that overwhelming responsibility. Max suddenly acknowledged that he ought to help his beloved woman to have a child. He was experiencing extreme headache and heart burn and felt so bad, that every part of his body was in pain and the scenery in front of eyes drifted. To lessen his suffering at least a little, he closed his eyes but could still see the car accident. Seeing the intensity of Svetlana’s mysery, Max understood the reason which led to car crash. At the moment of the crash Svetlana realized her powerlessness, and it took advance of her openness and weakness, causing her a massive psychological trauma… With the rest of the energies left he thought: «What can I do? I am only a little boy to her»! – he fell on the pillow, not being able to sit any more. He felt better when Roma took his hand. Maxim asked him:

– How are your studies going?

– You know the answer already, Max. Why are you asking?

– Don’t worry, not because I have nothing else to do. You know everything yourself.

– See, they don’t want me to leave school.

– So stop fighting with them. Just go and study. They will understand with time. No need to procrastinate.

– But how? I don’t even know what they want: to finish eleventh grade or go to college. They impede me to take a decision, confusing me which path to take. I start doubting the rightness of the taken decision and don’t know weather it is mine or theirs. We can’t stop the time, Max, everything happens by itself – and not for good. Everyone understands it and get scared. Uncertainty is taking control over me, and I am being made to do things that don’t depend on me. Maxim, do something! I know you can!

– Roman, what can I do? I can predict that you will drop out of school and will start college; but you will drop it as well and won’t even have a hight school diploma! Do you understand me?! What do you want me to do and with whom? With you or with your parents? Explain me please; what do you want me to do? Turn the time around? You know that I have had many conversations with your mom but they led to nowhere. She asked me to talk to you about staying in school. I told her exactly the same things as I told you. But she hasn’t gathered herself together, and you can’t get strengths back for the concrete actions.

– So what do you want to advise me, my friend?

– Either do a good job at school or then to college or finish the tenth grade and then go to college. Figure out a relationship with parents yourself, you are an adult so stop being a baby. What do you think?