Сьюзен Мэллери - Yours for Christmas

Chloe nodded.

“And you loved him.”

Another nod.

“Isn’t that the most important part? Knowing you loved each other?” He reached for the sweet potatoes.

Chloe looked to her for confirmation. Bailey nodded.

“He lives on in your heart. All the people we love do.”

“For always?” Chloe asked.

“For always,” Bailey promised.

* * *

AFTER THEY FINISHED DINNER, Bailey kept waiting for Kenny to leave. But he stuck with them through the second half of the football game and Chloe’s movie pick of the evening, The Muppet Christmas Carol . About eight-thirty, her daughter finally wound down from the excitement and zonked out on the sofa. Bailey tried not to let her heart get all twisty when Kenny carried Chloe to bed.

But there was something magical about a big, strong guy carrying a little girl. So it wasn’t completely her fault that she was both breathless and hopeful when they returned to the living room.

He was going to leave, she told herself. It was time for him to go. They were only friends, so she would be very, very foolish to expect anything other than a handshake. And while she didn’t expect more, she was willing to admit she wanted more.

But instead of leaving, Kenny returned to the sofa. Bailey settled on the opposite end and faced him.

“Your pie was delicious,” she said into the silence.

“Thanks. The whole meal was great. Thanks for inviting me.”

“We had fun. You’re good with Chloe.”

Instead of smiling, he stared past her, as if seeing something she couldn’t. “I like kids.”

“Do you have any?” she asked, realizing how little she knew about his past. She really had to spend some quality time on the internet, using Google to do some research on him.

“No,” he said firmly. “I did.”

She stared at him. “Oh, no. What happened? I’m sorry.”

He looked at her. “No one died. It wasn’t like that.”

She didn’t understand. If no one had died... She waited, not sure what to ask, or if she should. His expression was tight—both pained and angry, she thought.

“High school was easy,” he said with a shrug, his gaze once again looking past her. “I liked girls and they liked me. I was in and out of what I called love every couple of weeks.”

“Sounds like fun.”

He glanced at her and smiled. “Yeah. Fun is a good word for it.” The smile faded. “In college, I got a little more serious. The girlfriends lasted months instead of weeks. But no one stuck. Natalie was one of them. We dated for a few weeks. It was great and then it ended. When I ran into her the following spring, it was obvious that she was pregnant.”

Bailey stiffened. She hadn’t seen that coming.

“She’d never tried to get in touch with me, which pissed me off,” he continued. “I could count as well as the next guy. She was about five months along. The kid was mine. I proposed and she refused. She said she didn’t want to get married that way. So we moved in together.”

He shifted a little, then looked at Bailey. “I’d been drafted at that point. I was excited about graduating and starting my NFL career. I didn’t take as much time with Natalie as I should have. I wasn’t home much. I didn’t run around with other women, but there were a lot of things to do.”

She nodded, not sure what he wanted to hear. Or where the story was going.

“The baby—a boy—was born while I was playing. Natalie didn’t call to tell me she was in labor. I rushed home as soon as I found out, but Natalie wasn’t all that eager to keep me at home, so I went back to work. Time passed. We still weren’t married, but we had James and that was enough for me.”

He drew in a breath. “I spent all my free time with him. He was a great kid. Smart and loving. I was so damned proud. Things with Natalie were up and down, but I figured that’s what happened when you were in a serious relationship. When James was three, everything changed.”

She looked at him, wanting desperately to hear and almost afraid of what he was going to tell her.

“How?” she asked softly.

“I got hurt. My first serious injury. I missed five games. While I was recovering, Natalie came to me. She said that the reason she’d never wanted to marry me was that she was in love with another man. A married man. He kept promising to leave his wife for her and he finally did. Natalie was leaving me to go be with him.”

His expression turned fierce. “It wasn’t good news, but I was okay with that. We definitely weren’t in love then. I told her I wanted custody of James. That’s when she said he wasn’t mine. The other guy was the father.”

Bailey sucked in a breath. “Was she telling the truth?”

“Yeah. That’s the hell of it. I got an attorney and we arranged for a DNA test. But when it came back...I had no legal claim on him. She took him and walked out and I never saw him again.”

Bailey wanted to go to him, to hold him and offer comfort. Only there wasn’t anything she could say.

She tried to imagine what it would be like if she lost Chloe. But even thinking it was possible was too painful to consider.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Me, too. The thing is, you’re great and I like you a lot.”

An unexpected statement that should have thrilled her. Except for the single word at the end.

But.

He didn’t have to say it. She heard it loud and clear. She was the woman with a kid who wasn’t his. Kenny had been burned that way once before. He wasn’t going to risk it again.

“I understand,” she told him, feeling disappointed and more than a little hurt. “It makes perfect sense.”

“I wanted you to know why,” he said.

She stood. “And now I do. Thank you. Chloe and I had a great time today.”

“I did, too.”

He rose and there was an awkward moment as they both stared at each other. He gave her a half smile and reached for his coat.

Bailey held open the front door, briskly wished him good-night, then shut it behind him. When she was alone, she leaned against the door and told herself it was for the better.

Only she didn’t feel better. She felt a little sick to her stomach. Because she thought maybe what he’d been saying was that under other circumstances, he might have been interested in her. That he might have thought she was his type. And knowing that made not having any chance at him just a little more difficult to take.

CHAPTER FIVE

ONE OF THE advantages of living in Fool’s Gold was that no matter what horrible thing might be happening in your personal life, there was also something in town to serve as a distraction.

Despite having not slept much the night before, Bailey greeted the morning with as much optimism as she could muster. For one thing, she had a great life. She had her daughter, friends and a job she loved, and in less than two weeks, she would be moving into her first ever, very own home. It was enough, she told herself firmly. She didn’t need a man—not even one as tempting as Kenny.

She and Chloe had breakfast, then she dropped her daughter off at a friend’s house, where she would spend the day. For her part, Bailey was going to head into town. All the stores would be decorating for the holidays and that was fun to watch. There was also a new store opening, and she was meeting Isabel there. Tomorrow, she and Chloe would go look at all the store windows and stay for the town’s tree lighting.

Back at her place, she made quick work of cleaning the kitchen, then dove into her closet. She wanted to clear out as many things as possible before the move. She and Chloe had already done her daughter’s room. Chloe had given up a couple of boxes of toys to be donated. Clothes that were too small would also go to charity.