Jennifer Crusie - Agnes and the Hitman

He strode across the room as the man jumped up and the woman turned, looking surprised. The man was reaching for a jacket when Shane hit him with a cat-paw fist strike to the solar plexus, making him thump back into his chair, gasping in pain and floundering, out of commission for a couple of minutes at least.

The redhead lunged at Shane, who sidestepped her claws, grabbed her from behind, and used her momentum to slam her against the desk, pinning her to it. He got one arm in a half nelson around her neck and pressed the barrel of the gun against the back of her head. He could feel her tight ass pushing back against his groin, and she began to grind as she struggled against him, putting her arms flat out on the desktop and looking over her shoulder angrily. He shoved her shoulders down on the desk and saw a small tattoo of a compass on the small of her back, just above her jeans. Like somebody needs directions there, he thought.

She pressed back harder against him.

“Stop it,” he said.

“Oh, come on,” she whispered. “You like it. We can work this out, you and me. I can-”

Shane pulled the gun back and tapped the barrel against the back of her skull.

The girl rubbed her head. “What the fuck?”

“This is business and you are not part of it. Stay there.” Shane backed away, keeping the barrel aimed at her, and when she didn’t move, he glanced at the man who was still gasping for air. Not a problem.

Then Shane reached inside his jacket and pulled out an airline ticket. He tossed the plane ticket on the desk in front of the woman. “You’ve got a problem, here’s the solution. A voucher you can use at the airport tonight. Enough for a one-way ticket anywhere in the world.”

The redhead stared at him.

“You don’t ever want to come back to Savannah again,” he told her. “This man hangs with bad men, and they’re going to remember you were here and come looking for you.”

The girl was nodding, reaching for the ticket at the same time she tried to put her jacket on.

“You can go, but if you say anything to anyone on the way out, you will die.”

The girl was still nodding like a bimbo bobblehead doll, one arm in her jacket, the other with the ticket in hand. Shane kept one eye on her struggles as he focused his attention back on the man. When she was ready and holding the ticket in one hand and her purse in the other, Shane pulled out his satellite phone and hit the speed-dial for Carpenter. “You got one civilian coming out. Redhead. Let her go.”

There was a telling moment of silence. “A witness.”

“A civilian coming out,” Shane repeated.

“Roger,” Carpenter said.

Shane nodded to the redhead, and she scuttled to the door and was gone.

Shane turned his attention back to the man. “Same deal for you, my friend.” He slapped another ticket voucher on the desk.

“Who-?” The man coughed and tried again as he managed to sit up straighten “Who-are-you?”

“Doesn’t matter who I am,” Shane said. “I’m gonna ask you some questions. Answer honestly, you take this ticket and go. Lie and die.”

The man’sface was shinywith pain and exertion. “What-do- you-want?”

“You were hired by the mob to kill someone the U.S. government would prefer stay alive.”

“You got the wrong-”

Shane hit him, an open-handed slap that was more insult than injury. “You’re wasting my time, Casey Dean,” he said, and the man flinched when he heard the name. “The people I work for do not make mistakes. Unlike you.”

“Really-”

Shane reached out and jabbed his thumb into Dean’s shoulder, hitting a nerve junction, and the guy jumped as if struck by an electric shock. “Now here’s the deal. You tell me what I want to know and forget about the hit, fly away, and never come back, and it’s the same to me as if you were dead.”

Dean rubbed his shoulder. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.” Shane slid the ticket voucher across the desk.

“You’re really gonna let me go if I tell you what you want and forget about the contract?”

“No. I’m gonna let you go if you forget about the hit and give me the names and contact information of whoever hired you and the name of the target.”

Dean shook his head. “I can’t give the contractor up. He’ll kill me.”

Shane brought the gun level with the point right between the man’s eyes. “Which is worse? The possibility he might kill you in the future or the certainty I will kill you in the next ten seconds?”

“Shit.” Dean slumped, looking suddenly very old. “Listen, I’m just a business manager. I’m-”

Shane pressed the muzzle of the gun hard against the man’s skin just above his nose.

Dean’s eyes turned inward, mesmerized by the barrel. “I’m telling you, I don’t know the contractor’s name. I just got a call that services were needed.”

“Who’s the target?”

“Didn’t get it yet. I swear.”

Great. Dean was an idiot, but there was a ring of truth in that.

“Listen, I’m cold. Can I get my jacket?” Dean’s eyes shifted again, his voice heavy with faked innocence now.

Shane looked at him, almost pitying him in his stupidity. The dumb fuck has a plan. He pulled the gun back. “Sure.” His assignment was to take out Casey Dean, world-class hitman, but if this guy was a world-class hitman, Shane was Princess’s date to prom. Some guys were all PR, no game, and Dean was sure as hell turning out to be one of them.

When Dean had put on his jacket, he looked downright confident, his eyes sly as they went to the desk. “So I really don’t know anything, but I’m definitely leaving town, just like you said. Okay if I get my passport from my desk drawer?”

Shane nodded. You bet. Commit suicide with my gun. That’s what I’m here for.

The man turned his back and opened a desk drawer, and Shane brought his gun up.

Dean swung around, a small gun in his hand, and Shane fired two quick shots, hitting him in the chest. Dean fell back, disappearing behind the desk.

Below, the music pounded, drowning out everything. Shane walked forward, gun at the ready, and rolled the man over, surprised to find there was still a spark of life in his eyes. Not surprised to see his two shots were so tightly grouped they appeared to be one hole, but not happy to see them an inch off target.

Fucking Joey, making him lose focus. Fucking Keyes. Fucking little Agnes, too, whoever she was.

A funny look came over the man’s face as Shane aimed the gun at his forehead. His eyes blinked rapidly. “Wait,” he gasped. “We can make a deal.”

“Oh, come on,” Shane said. “You know who and what you are. You lied. You’d have completed the contract because otherwise you’d never get another job.”

“No-” Dean said, and Shane fired, the round making a perfect black hole in the center of his forehead. Shane leaned over and checked Dean’s pockets, finding a business card with just a phone number on it. He pocketed it.

He pulled out his cell phone and hit number 3 on the speed-dial.

It was answered on the first ring: “Carpenter.”

“Painting’s done. You’ll have to help him on to the next world on your own, Reverend. I won’t be at debrief.”

There was a brief moment of silence. “Wilson won’t like that.”

“The target had no information on contractor or his target.”

“Roger.”

Shane put the phone away and picked up the voucher.

Then he crossed the room to the window, reached under his shirt, retrieved the heavy-duty snap link attached to the rear of his body armor, clipped it to a bolt holding a drainpipe, turned outward and jumped, the carefully coiled bungee cord snapping out until it jerked him to a halt three feet from the street and bounced him back up half the distance. As he went down the second time, Shane pulled the quick release and landed on all fours. Right next to his Defender SUV.