Meg Cabot: Every Boy's Got One

And there are window boxes EVERYWHERE, with CASCADES of red and pink and blue flowers frothing down them. It’s so pretty!

And everywhere you look are these funny little half-cars, like Volkswagen bugs that got cut in half, called Smart Cars. In fact the biggest car I’ve seen here is the minivan we’re in. I guess Italians aren’t really having big families anymore. Either that, or they don’t go anywhere with the kids.

I really don’t think you have to worry about my bag getting snatched, Mom. The only people I see on Vespas here are fashionably dressed, skinny women, with long flowing hair, driving around in long, pointy shoes with tiny little heels!

I’m so tired, I can’t type anymore. I can’t WAIT to get to the hotel so I can crash. I need a shower in the WORST way.

Love to Dad. Tell him to keep wearing those gloves.

Janie

PS The Dude was fine when I left him. Julio, the super’s son, is going to look in on him every day after school. I bought him some special tuna Pounce for a treat. For The Dude. Not Julio.

J

PPS Mark’s friend is NOT a nice guy. He’s totally awful! His name is Cal Langdon and he’s some hotshot reporter who thinks he’s all that. He doesn’t believe in marriage and thinks Mark is making a huge mistake. I don’t know how I’m going to survive a whole week in his company. HE’S NEVER HEARD OF WONDERCAT.

J

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To: Julio Chasez

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: The Dude

Hi, Julio! It’s me, Jane! I realize I’ve only been gone a day, but I just wanted to make sure everything is all right. You know, with The Dude. I know how he can get. Just make sure he gets two cans of fresh food a day (one before you leave for school, and one before you go to bed) PLUS dry food and fresh water, and he should be fine.

Be sure to wear the oven mitts if you have to touch him! And whatever you do, DON’T give him any catnip!

Thank you SO MUCH for taking care of him for me. You are the BEST!

Love,

Jane

___________________________________________

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: His Mother

Can you believe it? He got an email from his freaking mother about some girl from his hometown who lives in NY now. I’m going to lose it.

Holly

___________________________________________

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: His Mother

Um… why are you emailing me from inside the same car we are both sitting in? Also, I thought we were only supposed to use these things for work purposes.

J

___________________________________________

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: His Mother

I can’t exactly talk to you about the email he got from his mother IN FRONT OF HIM, now can I? Except this way.

And how are they ever going to know what we use these dumb things for, anyway? How are you holding up?

Holly

___________________________________________

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: His Mother

Good. It’s pretty here.

How do you know that his mom emailed him, anyway?

J

___________________________________________

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: His Mother

Duh. I read it over his shoulder just now. I saw you and Cal talking at the baggage carousel. What did he say?

Holly

___________________________________________

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: His Mother

Oh. Nothing.

J

___________________________________________

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: His Mother

Come on! SPILL!

Holly

___________________________________________

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: His Mother

Is this a setup? Are you and Mark playing Fix Up the Best Friends? Because I told you before, I’m TAKEN. Besides. He’s not my type.

J

___________________________________________

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: His Mother

You have a type ? What is it? The only thing the guys you’ve dated have in common is that they’ve all been unemployed. Or, if they HAD jobs, they were also screwing Amy Jenkins, like Dave.

Holly

___________________________________________

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: His Mother

Whatever happened to her, anyway?

J

___________________________________________

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: His Mother

Who? Amy Jenkins?

She married a rich lawyer, moved to Pound Ridge, and squeezed out two kids.

Holly

___________________________________________

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: His Mother

No! No, she didn’t! Why did you tell me that? THAT’S NOT FAIR!!! She tried to ruin my life!!! Why should SHE have a happy ending?

J

___________________________________________

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: His Mother

You call living in Pound Ridge with a lawyer and two kids a happy ending? You so know she spends her days working out and helping the nanny make wheat-free snacks.

Don’t worry. In a couple of years she’ll pudge out and he’ll trade her in for a younger model and she won’t be able to get a job to support herself anywhere because she doesn’t have any references, and one day you and Cal will pull into an outlet Benetton to pick up a pair of socks and she’ll be working the cash register.

Holly

___________________________________________

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: His Mother

I don’t want to talk about this anymore.

J

___________________________________________

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: His Mother

Why not?

Holly

___________________________________________

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: His Mother

Well, for one thing, he’s sitting right next to me! He might see! Cut it out!

J

___________________________________________

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: His Mother

He’s not paying attention. He has his own emails to catch up on. Come on. What did he say? He must have said SOMETHING. You guys just sat next to each other for seven hours. Are you telling me he didn’t say ANYTHING that entire time?

Holly

___________________________________________

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: His Mother

Nothing. Really. Oh, at the baggage carousel, he said he was sorry for stepping on my foot.

J

___________________________________________

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: His Mother

That’s IT? Wow. That’s weird. Did he talk about his marriage at all?

Holly

___________________________________________

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: His Mother

HIS WHAT?????????????????????

J

___________________________________________

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: His Mother

God, use question marks much?

His MARRIAGE. He was married once, you know. He’s divorced. I just wondered if he’d mentioned it.

Holly

___________________________________________

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: His Mother

He didn’t say a word about this. But it explains an awful lot. Who was the NOT SO lucky girl?

J

___________________________________________

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: His Mother

Her name was Valerie Something. I don’t know, really, it was ten years ago, back when he and Mark just graduated from college. They met in a bar. He was the newest cub reporter, and she was a model. They went out for about a month before he decided she was the best thing that ever happened to him and married her. They only lasted about a year. Apparently, as soon as the divorce was final, she married an investment banker, and Cal asked for an overseas post. According to Mark, she broke Cal’s heart.