Elizabeth Eulberg: Prom and Prejudice

"Anything." I couldn't imagine what Jane was going through. I'd be willing to talk about whatever she wanted in order to get her mind off of today's nightmare.

"What were you doing with Will Darcy?" She winked at me.

I recounted the previous day to Jane. She'd known his mother was a performer of some kind, but hadn't realized she was a famous pianist.

"So ..." Jane prodded me.

"So?" I replied. "So, Will Darcy isn't evil incarnate. I, however, am apparently a lousy judge of character. It nearly destroyed everybody close to me."

"You can't beat yourself up about Lydia. She would've found Wick eventually. Or some other version of him. She can always find trouble. You are the reason Darcy was here."

"I know -- I was so lucky he was with me when you called."

Jane shook her head. "That wasn't what I meant. Lizzie, he didn't do all this for me. He didn't even do all of this to get back at Wick. Yes, those were probably huge factors, but I'm pretty sure he did this all because he cares about you."

I didn't want to admit that I was hoping that Darcy's feelings for me hadn't changed. But I couldn't really blame him if they had, after all the horrible things I'd said to him. The last two days had been great, but they couldn't erase the past.

My feelings for him had changed immensely. I was beginning to really care for Will Darcy.

I SPENT THE REMAINDER OF MY SPRING BREAK STARING AT my cell phone. I naively thought that Darcy would call me. He sent me a few texts inquiring about my hand, but that was it. I didn't want to bother him after everything he had done to save Lydia from Wick, but I was hoping he'd want to see me again.

For the first time, I was excited about returning to Longbourn. I even accepted Jane's offer for a ride. Especially since Jane's parents were taking Lydia separately. After Jane told them about Lydia's behavior, Mr. and Mrs. Netherfield threatened to enroll Lydia in a strict Catholic boarding school in Maine, even though they were agnostic. They even drove up there during the break so she could see the nuns and uniforms and gated fence (and, most important, not a single boy in sight). I believe the term "scared straight" was coined because of places like that.

Nothing at school really changed after spring break, but I felt hopeful for once. The recital was coming up in a couple weeks, and despite not practicing as much as I wanted to because of my sore hand, I was making great progress with Rhapsody. Practice with the orchestra started the week we arrived back, and although the majority of the students in the orchestra despised me even more because I was being featured in the concert, the practices went well.

I was even excited about work, convinced that Darcy would return to his regular visits. But he didn't. I wouldn't have even known he was back on Pemberley's campus if it wasn't for Jane.

But fortunately, Jane was back with Charles, which meant that she was happy ... and that I was able to get Darcy intel.

Jane returned from a date in a particularly good mood. "So, Charles thought it would be fun for a bunch of us to go out to dinner on Saturday."

"A bunch of us?"

"Yes. I know how much you normally dread these invitations, but for some reason, I think you might actually want to come this time. But if you don't ..."

Jane wasn't one for teasing, but after all the grief I had given her over the course of the year about going out, I fully deserved this ribbing.

"I think I can suffer through it."

She patted me lightly on the shoulder. "Thank you for making such a sacrifice."

"That's what friends are for. Speaking of friends, do you know which of Charles's friends are going to be there?" I tried to look innocent.

"Let's see, I don't know. Charles has so many friends...."

She wasn't going to let me get away with this so easily.

"Fine. Is Will Darcy going to be there?"

"Darcy ... Darcy ..." Jane tapped her lips and she rolled the name around on her tongue. "The name is familiar. Yes, Darcy ... I believe he is going to be there."

"Thank you. I guess I could make an appearance. I don't want to be rude."

She laughed. "No, we wouldn't want that. Plus, it will be so much fun!"

How many times had Jane said that to me? How many times had I scoffed at her bright disposition?

But for the first time, I sincerely believed that I would have fun.

We were among the first people to arrive at the restaurant. Jane sat next to Charles at the head of the table, and I sat next to her. I put my purse on the chair next to mine, reserving it for Darcy. A few other students started shuffling in, including Colin and Charlotte, who sat directly across from me. There were only two seats left open, the one next to me and another seat on the opposite side of the table, farthest away from me.

Darcy walked in and apologized for being late. I smiled at him and he briefly glanced in my direction. I took my purse off the chair and put it on the floor next to me. He walked around the entire table and sat in the other seat.

Charles announced that one of his friends just texted that he couldn't make it so we were all there.

My spirits sank as I realized that my evening would be spent with Jane and Charles in deep conversation to my left and Colin and Charlotte in front of me straining to talk about anything. And to my right, an empty seat.

I kept leaning over to hear what Darcy was talking about at the other side of the table, trying to find a way to join his conversation. But it was hopeless; there were four people between us, and I didn't really know any of them well. I tried to catch his glance so I could smile at him to show that I was a friendly person, not the horrific person who'd berated him for asking me to prom.

But Darcy just stared ahead or would politely nod in response to something someone said to him. I was desperate for confirmation that our friendly encounters over spring break hadn't been a fluke.

"So," Charles said loudly, commanding the attention of the group, "it's good to be back. Greece was wonderful, but I missed being with friends." He winked at Jane. "What did everybody do on their break?"

Charles had Charlotte start, and slowly everybody went around the table talking about vacations, beach houses, Europe, and, of course, prom-dress fittings. I waited patiently for Darcy's turn to come, to see if he would mention me.

But when it came time for Darcy to talk, he shrugged. "Nothing special, just spent time with my family." He looked to the person across the table from him, signaling that he wouldn't be elaborating further.

So I did receive confirmation, but not the kind that I wanted. It was clear that I was no longer of interest to Will Darcy.

"Lizzie?" Charles called to me. I was in such a daze that I hadn't realized it was my turn.

"Oh, I had a good break, thanks." I looked toward Darcy. "I had some friends come and visit me and that was fun. I, uh, went to this amazing concert at Carnegie Hall...."

"What? No prom shopping?" the guy next to Darcy asked.

"No, I'm not going to prom."

One would think that after that embarrassing admission (at least in this company) there would be an awkward pause around the table. But at the mere mention of the word prom, discussions started going around the table about dinner reservations and after-party plans. Maybe they didn't want to acknowledge that I wasn't going.

Despite the fact that I was surrounded by more than a dozen people in a crowded restaurant, a feeling of loneliness swept over me. It certainly wasn't the first time I'd felt alone on campus. But this was worse. Because not only did I feel alone, but there was a reminder on the other side of the table of what I could've had. At that point, it might as well have been the other side of the world, but there was someone I wanted to be with.