Elizabeth Eulberg: The Lonely Hearts Club

Amy handed me mine, which had "Penny Lane, Fearless Leader" written neatly on the front. She was throwing a big holiday party for the Club after our final exams.

We all started talking about the party, and I looked over at Tracy again. She hadn't mentioned a word to me about what she'd seen between me and Ryan. And I didn't feel like bringing any more drama into my life. I just needed to survive my finals.

"Hey, Teresa," I yelled across the table. "You took Spanish three last year, right?"

"Si," Teresa responded.

A lightbulb went off in my head.

"Hey, guys." I stood up and everybody stopped talking. "Maybe we should use the next couple meetings to do study groups for finals." I heard some groans. "I know, I know, but think for a second. We can all help one another with our finals, especially members who have been in classes the year before."

I wanted to get even better grades this semester, just to prove Principal Braddock wrong. And, of course, I wanted everybody in the Club to ace their exams. When Jen had gone to the office that morning to give Braddock the money, he'd just grunted while he counted the bills.

Could anything make that man happy?

IT WAS WEIRD, BECAUSE EVEN though I was a believer in Club secrecy, I wanted someone to let Ryan know the new rules. And at the same time, I still wasn't sure I was ready to date again, to take the risk that it wouldn't work out. It was so unfair: the more I liked Ryan, the more I knew he could break my heart.

I decided a study session was a safe non-date. So I invited Ryan over to review World History. He seemed a little surprised by the invitation, but didn't hesitate to say yes.

"So exactly how do you know all this inside information?" Ryan asked me, as we went over notes in my basement.

"Oh, I've got my resources." I took out a map of Nazioccupied Europe during World War II.

During Saturday's meeting, I'd found out that Ms. Barnes had asked a lot about World War II last year. I knew teachers didn't use the same exams, but it was good to get the scoop on what they had done before.

Plus, I didn't consider it cheating, as we weren't given any answers, just information on what happened the past year. I took anything I could get.

"Oh, hello, Ryan," Mom said, coming downstairs. "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

Ryan looked at me and I shrugged. "That would be great. Thanks, Mrs. Bloom."

Mom looked at both of us with a big smile on her face. It wasn't like we were up to anything — there were textbooks spread across the floor, and Ryan and I were at least a few feet apart. I kept looking at her, waiting for her to say something, but she was just staring at us.

"Mom..!"

"Oh, sorry!' She headed back upstairs.

Could that woman, for once in her life, just try, try to not embarrass me?

Although I was pretty impressed with myself, both Ryan and I had been able to be friends for nearly two weeks without any drama. That seemed to be our agreement. I did sometimes think about him in non-appropriate friend ways, but I was only human.

"Any big plans during the break?" Ryan got up and stretched. I looked at the clock, surprised that we had been studying for two hours straight.

"Wedding dress shopping." I unfolded my legs and tried to get feeling back in my left foot.

"So who's the lucky guy?" He winked at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Not for me, for Lucy. She's coming home for Christmas and she, Rita, and I are going to look for bridesmaid dresses." Rita had made it very clear to Lucy that we needed to be involved because she refused to look "like a pink taffeta nightmare."

I lay down on the floor and stared up at the ceiling. "I cannot wait for them both to be home. I just wish finals were over already!"

"Just one more day," he reminded me as he sat back down. "Hey, I'm really looking forward to Amy's party tomorrow night."

I jerked my head up so fast that I felt a little faint. "What? You're going?"

Ryan's eyes widened. "Yes, is that a bad thing?"

"No, no, I just didn't know that Amy invited you."

He shook his head. "Well, I obviously wasn't going to get an invitation from you." He threw his folder at me.

"Oh, sorry..."

Why hadn't I invited Ryan?

"But Amy wasn't the one who invited me."

Of course, Diane. How stupid of me to have thought that she wouldn't have invited him.

"Tracy asked me out."

Tracy? My Tracy?

Asked him out?

I tried to comprehend that not only had Tracy invited Ryan to the party, but that she hadn't told me. She usually told me everything.

I was the one who kept secrets.

My stomach tightened up. Oh my God. I knew exactly what this meant, Ryan had finally made it onto Tracy's list.

That was ridiculous. Tracy had never once expressed an interest in him before. Maybe this was why she didn't mention seeing us near our lockers that one time. But hadn't she said earlier in the year that he and I would've made a good couple?

Of course, the last thing I'd said about the issue was when I was proclaiming that I'd never go out with Ryan in a million years . And it wasn't like I'd told Tracy what I was feeling. No.

I looked across and saw Ryan copying down some notes.

I couldn't really blame her.

I'd had weeks — months! — to ask him out.

But I had stayed silent.

And Tracy's hadn't.

Tracy wanted Ryan.

And I wanted to curl up in a ball and die.

I HAD BEEN DREADING THE PARTY since I'd discovered that Tracy had asked Ryan out. I'd been waiting for her to bring it up, but she hadn't said a word. And I wasn't about to bring it up. Not even now, as we were getting ready.

I took the cap off of some shimmer and started applying it to my face, "Don't forget your chest," Diane said as she pointed to my maroon V-necked tank. I paired the top with a new pair of dark blue jeans, a sparkly silver belt, and high-heel boots. I took a step back to look in the mirror, satisfied with the results.

"Oh, let me try!" Tracy said as she grabbed the shimmer from me and started applying it. Tracy was wearing a black lace fitted top with black pinstripe flare pants. She looked so beautiful tonight with her hair down — she usually wore it up in a ponytail. It was obvious she was pulling out all the stops for Ryan.

"All right, I think we're ready," Diane said as we all gave one another a once-over in my bathroom mirror. Diane, as always, looked perfect. She was wearing a black A-line skirt and an aqua-blue sheer turtleneck with matching tank underneath.

We walked into my bedroom to grab our coats, but Diane sat down on my bed and opened her matching aqua purse, "I have something for the two of you," she said as she removed two small boxes wrapped in silver paper with a red ribbon and handed them to me and Tracy. "I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate everything you did for me this year."

"Diane, you didn't have to," I protested.

She simply shook her head and nodded toward the package.

I pulled off the red ribbon and tried to be careful to not tear the delicate silver paper. I gasped when I saw a blue Tiffany's box.

"Diane!" I could hardly believe it. I looked over to make sure Tracy wasn't ahead of me. She gave me a nod and we both opened our boxes.

Inside the box was a matching blue bag. I opened it to find a silver chain bracelet with a heart at the clasp.

"It's beautiful," both Tracy and I said in unison.

"Read the inscription," Diane said as she walked over to me and held up the heart. One side read LHC while the other said my name. She reached over and put the bracelet on my wrist.

"Diane, it's too much. You shouldn't have," I said.