Susan Mallery: Only Yours

“We broke up.”

Denise looked surprised. “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It wasn’t her, in case you’re wondering. It was me. I have to leave soon and I didn’t think we should pursue a relationship. She didn’t agree. She’s in love with me.”

Denise was carrying a book. Maybe she would hit him with it. Maybe they would all stand around him, yelling at him. Telling him why he was wrong.

Instead she sighed. “That makes you a very lucky man.”

He stared at her, unable to believe what she was saying. “Lucky?”

“Having someone love you is an amazing gift. Especially if it’s someone like Montana.” She straightened and squared her shoulders, an action that reminded him so much of her daughter. “So, yes, if she loves you, you are very lucky. And if she loves you, you must be a good man.”

He didn’t know what to say to that.

“It’s taken Montana a while to find her way,” Denise continued. “She was never quite sure what she wanted to do with her life. But she never stopped searching and now she’s found where she belongs. I’m so proud of her.”

He didn’t understand. Where was the screaming? Where were the accusations?

“I don’t love her.”

Denise stared at him for a long time, then leaned in and wrapped her arms around him. “I’m so sorry, Simon. I don’t know very much about you, but what I’ve been told is sad. It must be difficult for you to trust in something you’ve never seen. Being loved must be one of the most terrifying things of all.”

She stepped back and gave him a caring smile. “I hope you can have a little faith. If not in Montana, then at least in yourself.”

With that, she turned and walked away. He was left staring after her, more confused than ever and still without a chance at redemption.

SIMON POINTED TO THE SMALL red X on the illustration. “We’re going to start on the right side of your face,” he said.

Kalinda nodded. “Because it’s the bad side, right?”

“I don’t like to think of this in terms of good or bad. The right side has more damage, and will need more attention.”

Kalinda rolled her eyes at him. “Now you sound like my mom.”

Her mother sat on the other side of the girl’s bed. “Why did you say it like that?” she asked, but she was grinning as she spoke.

Ever since the night of Kalinda’s crisis, the little girl had been getting better. Simon didn’t have to look at her chart to see the truth. She was awake most of the day, energetic, talkative and interested in what was going on around her. At this rate, he could squeeze in two, maybe three surgeries before he left.

Kalinda pointed to the picture. It was a simple drawing of a face. He used it a lot when he was working with children. Showing someone what would be happening often made more sense than trying to talk about it. Plus, he’d been told he could get too technical and graphic. The last thing he wanted to do was to scare her.

“When you do that are you gonna cover my whole face? Will I look like a mummy?”

“Probably half a mummy.”

“Then I can walk down the halls at night with my arms straight in front of me and frighten the nurses.” Kalinda sounded delighted at the thought. “You need to make sure I’m a full mummy for Halloween.”

Fay looked at her daughter. “You know Dr. Bradley won’t be here for Halloween.”

“Yes, he will.” She looked at him. “You promised. You pinkie promised. You have to stay.”

He could see the righteous anger in her blue eyes. At last someone was going to yell at him. Unfortunately, it wasn’t anyone he wanted to be mad at him.

“Kalinda,” he began.

“Uh-uh. You promised. You were promising when my heart stopped. You can’t go back on that now.”

Fay stood. “I’ll walk you out,” she told Simon and led him into the hallway.

When they were standing facing each other, she smiled an apology. “I’m sorry about that. Kalinda can be very stubborn. You probably find it annoying, but I’m so happy to see that she’s herself again.”

“I see the improvement as well.”

He wanted to protest that he hadn’t promised, but knew the girl was right. He had been promising. But soon he was leaving anyway.

Going back on his word to a kid? How screwed up was that?

Once again he found himself missing Montana—her emotional sanity had become something he depended upon. Without her he was adrift in a world where he didn’t belong.

Fay touched his arm. “I want to thank you for all you’ve done. We wouldn’t have gotten through this without you.”

He wanted to tell her that of course she would have, but he accepted her words with a smile. That’s what Montana would have told him to do.

Back in his office, he updated his charts, then leaned back in his chair. He stared at his cell phone, knowing how easy it would be to call. But then what? Nothing had changed. It was better for both of them if he didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep.

“I SAW THE MOVIES a bunch of times, but this is better,” Daniel told Montana as he sat in one of the small conference rooms at the library. “My mom already bought me the whole set. They’re kind of hard, but it’s fun, too.” His nose wrinkled. “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”

Montana held in a smile. “Because reading isn’t cool?”

“No. I don’t want to be one of those smart kids.”

Peer pressure started early, she thought.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying the Harry Potter books. They’re some of my favorites, too.” She watched Daniel pet Buddy, who sat patiently at his side.

“Is a million dollars a lot of money?” she asked casually.

Daniel stared at her. “Yeah.” His tone made it clear he thought she was an idiot for asking.

“I think so, too. Do you know that according to some studies, people who go to college earn a million dollars more in their lifetime than people who don’t?”

There were plenty of exceptions, but she wasn’t going to get into that with Daniel.

“A million dollars more?”

“Uh-huh. Sometimes being smart is kind of a good thing.” She leaned toward him. “I don’t know why you had trouble reading, but that’s all gone. You’ve jumped two grades in your reading ability just in the past few weeks. It’s like your brain was getting ready and getting ready and suddenly it is ready.”

He gave her a shy smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t want to try before. It was hard.”

“I know, but you tried anyway. Buddy likes that in a guy.”

He hugged the dog. “Buddy’s really smart, too.”

“He is. But here’s the thing. They’re going to reassess your reading abilities when you go back to school, and you’re going to get moved to a different group of students.”

“With the really smart kids?” He sounded concerned.

“It depends on how you do. I know you’re worried that your friends won’t be happy if you change. But that’s what growing up is about. Changing. Trying new things. Do you want to play sports in high school?”

He nodded vigorously.

“You need good grades to stay on the team. The same in college.”

“I’d love to play college ball. Do you think I could?”

“I’ve seen how you’ve worked on your reading, even when it was hard. I think you can do anything.”

“That’s what my mom says, but I thought it was because she had to.” He shrugged. “She loves me.”

The words were spoken with perfect certainty. Montana thought of Simon and wished his childhood had been filled with that kind of affection and support.

“I think knowing you can do anything is a little more about you than her.”

Daniel rose and walked around the table. He hugged her, squeezing hard. “Thank you.” He straightened. “I’m going to college so I can earn that million dollars.”