Belinda Roberts: Mr. Darcy Goes Overboard: A Tale of Tide & Prejudice

“Oh look!” cried Kitty. “There is Denny! He said he was going on this course after dropping out of uni’… but who is that with him? He’s an absolute machine!”

“Denny! Denny!”

Kitty and Lydia rushed down to the beach, whereupon they were soon introduced to the handsome stranger.

“This,” said Denny, “is my good friend, Mr Wickham, who has recently joined up after having an equally disastrous affair at uni’ as—hey, Wickham!”

The said Wickham chose to ignore Denny’s comments and proved himself to be all wit, charm, and quite delightful to the five Bennet girls. He flexed his muscles and gave them such a detailed explanation of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation that they were left feeling quite breathless. Just as he had put them in recovery position on the sparkling sand, who should chance upon the beach but Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy. Bingley looked quite the holidaymaker in his striped Bermuda shorts, Ray-Ban sunglasses, and brightly coloured towel gaily slung over his smooth white shoulder. Darcy had on a similar outfit, but the colours were more subdued, and he retained his blue-and-white-striped cotton shirt, unbuttoned, which revealed a thatch of dark curling hairs.

“Mr Bingley!” shouted Lydia. “Do come and look! We are all in recovery.”

Bingley, delighted at chancing upon the girls, strode across with Darcy in tow. Despite the protection of wearing Tom Ford sunglasses with smoke blue lenses, Darcy had to control himself from staring at Lizzy, who was lying between Jane and Mary. His affection for her was becoming uncomfortably strong. Her bikini-clad body was almost too much, and he fought hard not to give anything of his feelings away. Bingley, he considered, was making a regular fool of himself by conversing with Jane at ground level, for her convenience, his hair flopping onto the sand. So Darcy stared steadfastly out to sea and tried to think of anything but the female form. One moment of weakness, however, allowed his gaze to fall again upon the enticing Lizzy, and in doing so, he spotted Wickham. Wickham at the same moment caught sight of Darcy, and Lizzy, observing both, could not help notice that one turned red and the other white and were barely able to acknowledge one another. Bingley, meanwhile, was regretfully bidding his farewells to Jane, as he had boat business to attend to, and called to Darcy to come along.

Lizzy was meanwhile left mystified. Wickham and Darcy had definitely recognised each other, but it was not a happy meeting. What could be the meaning of their exchange?

Lizzy’s curiosity was soon to be satisfied. Their official training session complete, the lifeguards took it upon themselves to organise a riotous game of volleyball, which her younger sisters joined in with gusto. The lifeguards, now off duty, stripped off their yellow shirts to reveal a range of fine torsos. The girls, most already in bikinis, had no further garments to strip off, and the game started immediately. The lifeguards, though clearly the better players, were gentlemen at heart and encouraged the girls to leap and run for the ball, snatching it from them at the last moment, causing many a shriek and a tumble and a fumble in the sands. Meanwhile, Mary was complaining the sun was too hot, despite wearing a bonnet, and so Jane, kindness as always, offered to accompany her to the charming Winking Prawn, where they could enjoy a cool lemonade and recover in the shade.

Lizzy, in thoughtful mood, wandered over to the rocks to explore a little, hoping to catch a common limpet off guard and prize it momentarily off its foundations or to enjoy watching the sea anemones waving in the shallow waters.

“Is that a beadlet?”

An amiable, pleasant-sounding voice made her jump and almost lose her footing. A firm hand grabbed her arm to steady her, and she looked up to find herself staring into the merry eyes of Mr Wickham.

“Oh, Mr Wickham! You made me start! Are you not playing volleyball?”

“No. I would much prefer to seek out treasures over here. I have always loved rock pools since I was a small boy and take every opportunity I can to come to tease out lovely limpets and pretty periwinkles.”

To Lizzy’s surprise, she acknowledged he must be telling the truth for, in his other hand, not the one that still held her arm so charmingly, he held a fishing net and bucket.

The two were soon crouched down over pools, delighting in their finds, when the conversation turned, by Wickham’s initiation, to Darcy. He enquired how long Mr Darcy had been in Salcombe.

“About a week or so. He has a beast of a yacht here—the Pemberley .”

“Yes. He has a fat wallet indeed. In fact, you could not have met with a person more capable of giving you such information—for I have been connected with his family from my Pampers days.”

Lizzy was all astonishment.

“Yes, you may look surprised. It is a sorry tale of events which I will not tire you with. Mr Darcy’s father was the most amiable of men, who, when my fortunes suffered a blow as a child, took me in and brought me up as his own. Darcy, I’m afraid, was horribly jealous. His padre had always wished me to follow into the family business, but when a place became vacant, I am afraid old Mr Darcy had already passed away, and young Darcy gave the position to another. I was left penniless, but I managed to scrimp and save, go to uni’ where… well here I am!”

“But that is outrageous! What disgraceful behaviour of Darcy. I thought ill of him before, but this is too much!”

Lizzy looked so angry and put out that Wickham felt quite sorry for her.

“Don’t be upset on my behalf! A young man these days should have to make his own way. I see it as a great fortune that I have not had too much handed on a plate. Unlike Darcy, I am a free man. The world is my oyster!” And with that, he held up a periwinkle as if an oyster and, looking directly at Lizzy, added, “…and who knows what pearls I might find.”

Tuesday was the long-awaited Salcombe Harbour Swim. Bingley, who had promised a breakfast party on this day, had been forced to change his plans, having been unaware that he would be clashing with such an auspicious local occasion.

The night before, the Bennet girls had met in The Kings Arms with a number of their Salcombe friends. Lydia was at full throttle.

“I shall not bother with a wetsuit. It is such a bore trying to pull it on and off all the time, and it makes me look like a giant seal. No, I shall wear the skimpiest of bikinis, so all the lifeguards will make sure of rescuing me should I get into difficulties.”

“I must have goggles, though,” interrupted Kitty. “I can’t like see a thing without goggles.”

“Although I have great demands on my intellect to continue my studies, I feel an early morning swim can but only help. I will be coming, but I feel a wise approach is necessary for a successful outcome. I shall wear goggles and my all-in-one Billabong wetsuit,” announced Mary.

“Will you be taking to the waters, Mr Collins?” asked Lizzy teasingly. “Or would it be considered too unseemly for a man of your position? I am sure you would not want word to get back to Lady Catherine de Brrr of any outrageous behaviour!”

Mr Collins was appalled by the idea of having to swim across the estuary at seven o’clock in the morning. He had, however, enjoyed a glass or two of wine, and also being in courting mode, felt an unaccustomed bravado come over him.

“Lady Catherine would want her vicar to lead by example. I will certainly be there, and if I may take the opportunity to ask if you, Lizzy, would you care to sit next to me on the boat going over so that I may protect you from any undesirable spray, and that I might then have the pleasure of guiding you through any hazardous waters that might come in our way on the swim back?”