Barbara Delinsky - Not My Daughter

Lily was knitting as well. She had slept late and, with Susan at the barn, had gone out for breakfast with Rick. They ran errands on the way home-town dump, drugstore, supermarket-and made a brief stop at the pier, but the January wind off the water was cold. Leaving the seagulls to guard the boats, they returned home and settled down in front of a fire in the den.

When there was a knock at the door, Lily put down her knitting. Most people rang the bell. Only friends knocked.

Robbie stood there. Having run across the street without a coat, he slipped quickly inside. "Hey," he said with a smile. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm good."

"I like your shirt." It was a form-fitting knit from the Portland cache. "You don't look very pregnant."

"I'm not very pregnant," Lily said, running a hand over her belly. The bulge was still small. "But I will be soon."

"Uh, that's why I'm here," he said soberly. "I want to be at the hospital next Friday, and don't tell me not to come, because I'll go anyway. I have a stake in this. It's my baby, too."

Lily thought quickly. "What if I just have my mom call you as soon as the surgery's done? That'll save you the trip."

"I want to be there."

"Just to stand around and wait?"

"It's my baby, too."

Lily didn't remind him that he'd had no say in its creation. It was time to move on. "The thing is," she said, "I'll be looking awful ."

"I don't care how you look."

"I mean, it'll be embarrassing to have anyone see me all sweaty and pale."

"You won't be in labor."

"I know. But having someone other than my parents around will be stressful."

"I'll be invisible. I just want to be there. My dad said he'd drive me down."

"Why don't you drive down with us?" Rick suggested from behind Lily.

"Dad-"

"We have room in the car."

"But what if I want to lie down?" Lily asked.

"You can put your legs on my lap," Robbie said in a bolder voice, clearly encouraged.

"What if I just don't want you there?"

"Give me a good reason, and I won't go."

She tried to come up with one. But all she could think of was her parents arguing about Susan keeping Rick at arm's length and Lily saying she had wanted him closer. Now she was having a boy, who, if he made it through this surgery, would do boy things, for which a dad would be good.

"I can't," she wailed softly.

Robbie smiled. "Thought not." He high-fived Rick, opened the door, and headed out-only to deftly pivot to avoid hitting Abby, who had her knuckles raised to knock.

Abby was the last person Lily expected to see, but old habits died hard. Pulling her inside by the sleeve of her parka, she shut the door and turned to Rick. "That high five was too familiar. Did you guys plan this?"

"I swear, we did not," Rick said. "I was just as surprised as you to see him-not that I'm disappointed. He should be there."

"That's my decision to make."

"You did make it."

She supposed she had. In a way. Feeling cornered, she turned to Abby, who looked so uncharacteristically unsure that Lily couldn't bear to ask why she had come-at least, not with Rick standing there. Oh yeah, she wanted him around, just not all the time. Fathers didn't need to know everything.

Still holding Abby's sleeve, she led her up to her room and closed the door. "There. He can't hear."

"It's okay if he does," Abby said. She didn't look quite so tall. "I mean, anyone with a brain knows I should be shot."

Lily wanted to say it wasn't true. Only it was.

Sagging, Abby said, "If I hadn't been pregnant last summer, I probably wouldn't have suggested the pact, and if I hadn't done that, you wouldn't be pregnant. If you weren't pregnant, your mom wouldn't be in trouble, your baby wouldn't be in trouble, our friendship wouldn't be shot. I'm sorry about the baby, Lily. Do you think he'll be okay?"

Lily touched the spot where he was. "The doctor says so."

"You've never had surgery before. Are you scared?"

"Mostly for the baby."

Looking stricken, Abby dug her hands in her pockets. "I want to say I know. Only I don't. I wish I was pregnant, too, Lily. It would have been nice to have something important like that. My mother says there'll be a better time. She's really fighting for your mom, by the way. I've never seen her as determined. Actually," she added, "I've never seen her angry at my dad before."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault, absolutely not your fault. Besides, someone has to take on the school board. You should hear her on the phone with those guys. I mean, she is awesome."

Lily smiled. "I'll bet she is."

"I've been talking with everyone I know. They're all going to the meeting." Her voice cracked. "I really am sorry all this happened. If I could change everything, I would. Is there anything I can do? Anything you need?"

Not from you , Lily might have said if she were a different kind of person. But she had always liked Abby before, and really didn't want their friendship to be shot. If she was giving Robbie a chance, shouldn't she give Abby one, too?

Suddenly she had a brilliant idea. It was perfect, actually. "I need moral support. Want to drive to Boston with us next week?"

Dusk had fallen hours before, but Susan didn't have to check her watch to know the time. If it hadn't meant a late night for Lily, she would have waited to leave Zaganack until after the meeting. Though only part of her future would be determined there, it was an important part-and, in truth, she had no idea whether the turnout would be pro or con. The campaigning might backfire if recipients felt they were being strong-armed-because however you looked at it, the issues were incendiary. PREGNANCY PACT. PRINCIPAL'S DAUGHTER. BAD MOTHER.

People liked Susan; she truly believed that. But this wasn't a simple matter of like or dislike. The debate involved parenting styles, politics, even professional considerations, if allies were lost to the Perry & Cass meeting across town.

"Packed," said Abby, reading a text message. She was on Lily's left, her face lit by the glow of her phone. "The boardroom, the hall, Dr. Correlli's office. The stairs."

"Good turnout," said Rick, eyes leaving the highway only to shoot Susan an encouraging look.

She didn't reply. Packed meant nothing if the crowd believed she was a disgrace.

From behind, Lily said, "How do they decide who sits in the boardroom?"

"First come, first served," Abby explained, "but they have monitors to call on people in the other rooms. Mom insisted on that."

"She's a trooper," Susan said. "Her skipping the Perry and Cass meeting was an issue. Families usually attend."

"Your dad's upset she chose Town Hall?" Lily asked Abby.

"Not Dad. His cousin Rodney, who publishes the Gazette . He is angry at Mom for supporting Susan. His guy took the other side, so he feels personally insulted."

"How does your father feel?"

"I don't know," Abby said, but her eyes were on the phone. "This is from Stephie, who's inside the boardroom. Mrs. Dunn is saying that the meeting is about leadership. She says they're split about who should head the high school."

"Then it is a referendum on you, Mom," Lily said.

"We knew it was," Susan acknowledged, glancing back. Lily was gnawing her cuticle. She was nervous about the surgery, but she seemed to like having Abby there. Same, actually, with Robbie, who, for the sake of extra legroom, sat behind Susan. She'd had mixed feelings about his coming, but liked the way Lily was being supported.

"Here we go," said Abby. "The first speaker is Sue Meader."

Rick glanced questioningly at Susan. "Friend," she told him. "We've worked on projects together. She has five kids. She's totally sympathetic."