Jennifer Crusie - Maybe This Time

“Sure,” Andie said, and gave him one more anxious look before she went to help unpack the cars.

They’ll be okay, she told herself, everything’s fine, the nightmare’s over, they’ll be okay.

When they were unpacked, they ordered pizza in, and then Alice said, “We should play Go Fish, I will teach you,” and Southie said, “What are we, amateurs?” and they played Go Fish for an hour, North bringing gravity to the game, shaking his head solemnly at Alice because he had no eights.

I’m happy, Andie thought, it’s all right now, and when the kids were ready for bed, she stood in the hall between their rooms and said, “Really, it’s all right now.”

Carter went into his room, but Alice said, “Okay,” and hugged her.

“Love you, Andie,” she said when Andie tucked her in, and Andie said, “Love you, too, baby,” and went downstairs to the reception room.

“Dennis?”

Yes?

“Are you feeling all right?”

I can’t feel anything. I’m dead.

“Right, sorry. I just wanted to make sure-”

A light in the office caught her eye and she took a couple of steps so she could see through the doorway.

North was in there, sorting through papers, but when he looked up and saw her, he dropped them. “How are the kids?” he said, as he came around the desk to meet her.

“Weird. Also, from now on you are out of here every night at five o’clock, no exceptions. Dinner with me and the kids every night.”

She braced herself for the argument to come, but he said, “How about six? I meet you and the kids in the dining room for dinner, we help them with their homework and play Go Fish until eight, the kids go to bed, and then it’s you and me.”

She lost her breath for a moment. “I thought you’d argue.”

“Am I stupid?” He put his arms around her. “That was a long, cold ten years you were gone, Andromeda.”

She held on to him, amazed all over again that she had him back. “Yes, it was. What about the practice?”

“Southie’s got a law degree. It’s time he used it. We can cut our client list. Beyond that, I don’t care. I’m done living for the firm.”

“God, I love you,” Andie said, stretching up for his kiss, and then she heard Dennis cough out in the reception hall and say, It would be good if I had something to read .

“Dennis is out there,” Andie said to North as he leaned down to kiss her.

“Right. Dennis is on the couch,” North said, clearly not buying that Dennis was on the couch. Being possessed hadn’t done a thing for him.

“You don’t have to believe it, just accept it.”

“I accept it,” North said, letting go of her. “Look, I have to go through this stuff to get caught up on what I’ve missed. Are you going to take it personally if I do that now?”

“Nope,” Andie said. “Lydia left bananas for me, so I am going to go make banana bread in my kitchen. I missed that kitchen.”

“So if I meet you upstairs in an hour, I get hot banana bread and sex?”

“The bread definitely,” Andie said. “The sex, I don’t know. I might not be in the mood. You know me.” If you’re there, I’m in the mood.

“I know you,” North said and kissed her, and she cuddled close and thought, It really is okay. It really is, and kissed him back.

I’m right here, Dennis said. At least give me something to read and close the door.

“Dennis needs some attention,” she told North and went out into the reception room. “Books would be useless, Dennis, you can’t turn pages.”

Maybe a computer screen.

“You can’t scroll.”

Fine, I’ll just sit here in the dark.

“Don’t be passive aggressive, Dennis, it’s unattractive. I will work something out for you, I swear. For tonight, just… explore your options. Maybe you have hidden talents.”

Unlikely.

“Good night, Dennis,” Andie said, and looked back through the office door.

North said, “One hour. You upstairs, naked with banana bread.”

“You’re on,” Andie said, and went down the hall to the kitchen she’d left ten years before.

Everything was going to be different this time. Except her banana bread.

The kitchen was just as she’d remembered it, and Lydia’s bananas were exactly the right amount of brown. She got out her mixing bowl and reached for the radio, a good station this time, she thought, since they were back in Columbus-

The cold knifed through her, and she gasped, and May was everywhere, flowing through her veins, staring out from behind her eyes, filling her, blotting her out.

Stop! Andie said, but no words came out because May had taken her tongue.

May stretched Andie’s body to feel it move. “ God , this is good.”

Get out, get out, get out NOW! She gave a frantic shake for air and light, but May smothered her, held her.

“Oh, please. I gave you every chance. I told you I wouldn’t quit, and you really thought I’d just give up?”

Andie pushed back frantically, trying to push May out, and May laughed as she expanded her hold, and Andie’s world went black and white, full of icy cold filling her like the taste of poison.

“You really think you evicted me that night at the house with North? I quit because you threw up, you idiot. You have no idea what I can do. You think Crumb put the salvia in your tea? Half the time you were talking to her, it wasn’t her at all, it was me !”

NO, Andie screamed, but she was blocked everywhere she turned, her own thoughts drowning in May’s-

“Andie?” Alice said, and May turned around to see the little girl in her nightgown.

Run, Andie thought, but Alice couldn’t hear her.

“I want to make banana bread, too,” Alice said, pulling a chair over to the counter.

“We can’t, honey,” May said brightly. “See? The bananas are all brown.”

Alice froze climbing onto the chair.

“We’ll get new yellow ones tomorrow,” May went on, but Alice was backing away. “What’s wrong?”

Run, Andie screamed at her.

“Nothing,” Alice said. “I’m just very tired. We’ll make banana bread tomorrow.”

She walked out of the kitchen calmly, and then Andie heard her on the stairs. Running.

“I blew that one,” May said. “What’d I do wrong?”

Get out of my body! Andie screamed at her.

“You have two choices here,” May said. “You can share this body with me, or you can fight me and I’ll smother you and take it all for myself. Which, frankly, is what I’d like. I know it’s mean, but a girl has to live.”

Stay away from Alice! Stay away from my kids!

“Hey, they were my kids first. I love those kids. I’ll take good care of them. And I’ll be better to North than you ever were. I’ll like the things he wants to give me, I’ll like being his wife.”

NO, this is MY LIFE, Andie raged, but she could feel the sound echo as her body felt farther away, and her view of the world became scratchier, like a battered old black-and-white film.

“You weren’t even using it. Don’t be a dog in the manger.” May smiled at her reflection in the dark window over the kitchen sink. “It’ll be all right. In a little while, you won’t even know. I held on to Crumb too long once and she almost stroked out. I think the part that’s you will just… fade away. You said you’d rather die than be a shadow.”

You’re not going to do this, I’ll stop you-

“You can’t. This is one thing you can’t fix. So just go toward the light, honey. I have it on very good authority that there’s something wonderful over there.”