Vella Munn - The Return of Cord Navarro

She heard the sound again, a human being in pain. Matt? No. Matt was dead to the world.

Cord. The sound came from him.

She began to tremble but forced herself to remain a silent observer. Slowly, shoulders heaving, he lifted a band to his face and pressed it against his forehead. Then he dropped to his knees, his body hunched over his son’s sleeping form.

Grabbing blindly for something to hold on to, she snagged her palm on a branch but ignored the pain. Cord’s entire body shook, deep spasms wrenched from his soul. She felt heat in her eyes and had no desire to try to stem her own emotion.

Cord, crying for his son.

Alone.

As she closed the distance between them, her left foot brushed against a rotting branch. She kicked it aside, blinked to clear her vision, and kept going. Then when she was only a few inches from him, she stopped. Maybe he didn’t want to share this moment with anyone. If she’d been the one in his place, she’d want and need privacy.

But the two of them already shared the child responsible for his tears.

“Cord?” Feeling as if she’d never touched him before, she laid her right hand along the side of his neck. “He’s all right.”

Silence. Only this one she understood as clearly as she understood the beating of her own heart.

“You found him. No one-no one but you could have done that. He’s alive. Thank God, he’s alive.”

Cord’s body quieted a little. Still, his every breath took incredible effort. Acting instinctively, she leaned forward and kissed the top of his head. He placed a hand on Matt’s cheek; his fingers began a restless, aimless movement over smooth young flesh.

“He’s fine, safe.”

Cord still did nothing to acknowledge her presence. Or rather, if she hadn’t known him-known him in a way she hadn’t comprehended until this moment-she wouldn’t have been aware of the change in him. But although he continued to struggle to control the emotion that had him in its grip, she felt him begin to relax. To find peace within himself.

“Why didn’t you tell me how scared you were?”

“Scared? It wasn’t…that.”

No. It wasn’t. He’d been terrified when he heard the rifle and undoubtedly uneasy from the moment he knew who shared Copper Mountain with them. But his tears had been born of emotion far deeper than fear-love for his son.

“I know,” she whispered. “I know.”

She felt the effort it took for him to push himself to his feet, half saw, half felt him turn toward her, and wondered if he cared that she could see his tears. As soon as he touched her cheek, the question evaporated.

“There’s nothing else in life like it.” His unsteady fingers slid under her chin, found the side of her neck and covered the vein there. “No feeling in the world like what we feel for our children, is there?”

“No, Cord. There isn’t.”

“Love. There aren’t any words.”

Cord’s love for Matt. She’d just seen that in all its beautiful intensity. “No. There aren’t. Sometimes it becomes so powerful there’s nothing to do but cry.”

He nodded. “I love Summer. As much as you do.”

“I know that now.”

“I’m sorry. I wish I’d been able to convey everything I felt and thought when our marriage depended on it.”

“I wish you had, too. No.” Her body became restless; she didn’t know what to do with herself. “That’s a horrible thing for me to say. What you felt for her was there all the time, but I’d wrapped myself into a tight ball and wouldn’t let anything touch me, most of all you. If I’d understood what you were saying when you told me you’d entrusted her to Gray Cloud, if I hadn’t tied myself up in knots -”

“Don’t.”

She spoke with her eyes closed, tracing each word as it flowed from her heart. “Everyone – man, beasts, trees, birds, earth, all share the same breath.” She opened her eyes. “You said that to me earlier today. You tried to tell me the same thing years ago. I heard you today. I should have the first time.”

“I gave you Gray Cloud’s words, not mine, because I didn’t know how to tell you what was in my heart. Shannon?” When he paused, she sensed his struggle and waited him out. “I don’t ever want to do that to you again. I didn’t want to break down. I fought it because-stupid!-I thought I had to keep that to myself.”

“You didn’t.”

“No, I don’t,” he whispered. His eyes darkened, asked her to come into the depths with him. “Shannon, Matt and I don’t always need words.”

“I understand. Now.”

“But he deserves to hear-to see how precious he is to me. Just as I want you to.”

Cord . “You…”

He brushed her hair back from her temple. “You have beautiful eyes. Green like the forest. I fell back in love with you during our search. Or maybe I finally realized I’d never stopped loving you.”

“Oh, Cord.”

“I want you to know that, tonight, tomorrow, for the rest of our lives.”

“The rest-”

His forefinger, steady now, rested on the pulse at the side of her throat. “I love you.”

He was the one with the beautiful eyes, dark like a midnight forest. “And…and I love you.” Her heart sang the words. She stood on tiptoe, offering her mouth, her heart, to the only man she’d ever loved.

“Ilove you, little one. Do you understand? Your daddy loves you with all his heart.”

Tears blurred Shannon’s vision. Despite muscles that trembled as a result of the hours of labor and delivery, she eased onto her side so she could study the interplay between Cord and the infant in his arms. Looking totally relaxed, one-hour-old Autumn Navarro yawned and stared wide-eyed at her father’s face.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered. “So precious. So innocent and helpless. I’m here for you. I will always be here for you, I promise you that.”

Shannon touched Cord’s wrist. Smiling, his eyes misted, he eased his chair closer so she could run her fingers over the silky black hair curling over their daughter’s head-hair as dark and rich as Cord’s. “We were right. We did have a girl.” Like her husband, she could barely form words.

Cord glanced at her, then returned his attention to the pink wrapped bundle snuggled against his strong body. “Do you understand what we’re saying, little one? Your mommy and daddy knew everything about you long before you were born. We didn’t need an ultrasound, didn’t need to pick out a boy’s name just in case. From the moment we realized you were on the way, we had your name waiting for you.”

Autumn had been named for the season of her birth, just as Summer had been. When she was old enough, Autumn would be told that she had a sister who lived with the angels, a fragile, beautiful girl who still held a place in her parents’ hearts.

“She looks so small in your arms,” Shannon said. “So right there. I hoped her hair would be black like yours.”

“There’s so much of it.” Cord caught a curl between his thumb and forefinger and studied it for a long minute. Releasing it, he laid his little finger against his daughter’s hand. Autumn reached out and clamped her fist around it.

“What a grip you have there, young lady.” He laughed, the sound rich and full. “I bet you think you’re stronger than your father. You probably are. Even if I wanted to, there’s no way I could free my heart from your hold on it. Do you have any idea of the power you have? How totally and completely I love you?”

Cord spoke in a sing-song whisper that touched her heart. He’d been there for Autumn’s birth, breathing with her, encouraging, cooling her with damp cloths, giving her courage and strength and will to bring their daughter into the world. They hadn’t talked about it much during her pregnancy, but as they were leaving for the hospital last night, he’d confessed that he was thinking about Summer’s birth. Although they’d been assured that this child was healthy, he couldn’t quite make himself believe it until he held her in his arms.