Lucy Gordon - A Family For Keeps

'But that won't bring her back, will it?'

'It'll bring her back in your heart, which is where it really matters.'

Rosa didn't answer this, but she shook her head stubbornly. The impish confidence was gone, replaced by a stark misery that was all the worse because she felt that nobody really understood.

'Let's go back,' Julia said gently. 'Vincenzo will be worrying about us.'

The sun had gone from the day and a dreary rain had begun to fall. They found Vincenzo at the door, looking for them.

'What is it?' he asked as soon as he saw Rosa's face.

In a quiet voice Julia explained. Instantly Vincenzo put his hands on the little girl's shoulders, searching her face tenderly.

'Hey there, piccina ,' he said. 'Have you been crying?'

She shook her head. 'I just remembered what you said-about how everyone leaves you.'

'What?' he said, aghast. 'Rosa, I never said that.'

'Yes, you did. You said it to someone at Mamma and Papa's funeral. I overheard.'

'But I-' Vincenzo checked. What use was it to say that he hadn't known she was listening? ' Cara, I was feeling terrible, and that's the sort of thing people say when-when-I didn't mean it.'

'Yes, you did,' she said quietly, looking him straight in the eye. 'And it's true. People leave you even when you plead and plead with them not to.'

Her voice faded. She was staring into the distance.

'Darling-' Julia put a hand on the child's shoulder, but Rosa didn't seem to notice. She was lost in an unhappy dream.

'Even if it's the most important thing in the whole world,' she said, 'and you're trying to make them understand and begging and begging them not to go-they still go-and they don't come back.'

Suddenly she looked straight at Julia, who drew in her breath. Did she imagine that those childish eyes contained a hint of accusation?

Then the moment was gone, and Rosa was looking bewildered. 'I think we should go straight up into the warm,' Julia

Upstairs they thawed out with the help of hot drinks sent up from the restaurant. Rosa began to seem more cheerful.

'Do you live here alone?'

'That's right.'

'Can I come and visit you?'

'Whenever you like.' She noticed Rosa's eyes closing. 'We walked a long way today. Why don't you take a nap?'

She tucked the child up in her own bed, where she fell asleep almost at once. Julia sat beside her for a while, free at last to watch over her with loving possessiveness. You're mine, she thought. If only I could tell you.

Terry Dale called her a week later. Things were moving fast.

'The sooner you can get over here to sign the papers, the sooner you'll have the money,' he said.

'Fine, I'll be right there.'

'What about Rosa?' Vincenzo asked when she told him. 'Have you thought that your going away might worry her?'

'Yes, and I've got a plan. If I'm quick she need not even know I've gone. She's back at school now, and you said she has a good friend who often invites her for sleep-overs. If you can get her invited for a couple of nights I can be there and back before she knows it.'

A few days later he told her the plan was in progress.

'She'll go home from school with Tanya tomorrow,' he said, 'and stay for two nights. Can you be back by then?'

'I'll manage it.'

'I've promised her you'll have dinner with us tonight.'

It was a good evening spent eating, laughing and watching television. The shadow had gone from Rosa's manner and she seemed free from the ghost that had briefly haunted her.

Julia promised to come to dinner again when Rosa returned from her visit, and the child went to bed, content.

'And what about me?' Vincenzo asked as he walked home with her. 'Do you promise me that you'll come back?'

'Don't be silly. You know I'm coming back.'

'Sure, you'll return for Rosa's sake. You heard what she said. Everyone leaves you in the end.'

'But that's what you believe,' she reminded him. 'Only because I've been proved right so often.'

'Trust me,' she said, echoing the words that he had said to her so many times.

'Shall I take you to the airport tomorrow?' Vincenzo asked.

. 'No, thank you. I have something else to do first.'

She refused to tell him any more. Next day she left, heading, not for the airport, but for San Michele. Before boarding the boat she bought flowers.

In the cemetery she went first to Piero's grave, and used half of the flowers to refill his urn.

Then she went to find Bianca. Pushing the steps into place, she climbed up, removed the wilting flowers from the urn, and replaced them with fresh ones. For a long time she looked at the sweet face of the woman her daughter called Mamma. Then she touched it gently. 'I just wanted to say thank you,' she said.

Julia's trip went well. She signed papers and received a cheque for the first part of her compensation, the rest to follow soon.

There were more questions about her husband, but she smiled and played dumb, and in the end her inquisitors gave up.

On the day of her return to Venice she was at the airport long before she needed to be, only to find it shrouded in fog. Passengers were allowed to board, pending an improvement in the weather, but it did not happen and they were requested to leave the aircraft.

Two hours later she called Vincenzo on her cell phone.

'I'm going to be late for dinner tonight,' she said. 'There's a thick fog and the planes are grounded.'

'There's no fog at this end,' he said, frowning.

'Well, it's a pea-souper over here.'

'How do I explain to Rosa? She doesn't know you're in England.'

'Make some excuse. Say I'm not well. Say anything-'

There was a whistling sound in her ear as the line went dead. The phone needed a top-up. While she was looking around for somewhere to do it a voice came over the tannoy.

'Will passengers for Venice please start boarding-?'

'Thank goodness,' she breathed. 'Oh, why did this have to happen?'

Vincenzo turned to see Rosa watching him, very pale. 'She's not coming, is she?'

'Cara-

'I heard you say she was in England. She's gone right away and she's not coming home.'

'Yes, she is coming home, but her plane's been delayed by fog. She'll be here as soon as she can.'

'You didn't say she was going away to England.'

The sight of her rigid face shocked him. This wasn't simply childish disappointment. She was reliving an old nightmare.

He dropped down so that their eyes were on a level, trying desperately to find a way past her defences. It was like trying to communicate with someone behind bars.

He was assailed by a feeling of danger. If he couldn't reach her, and get her to reach out to him, she might be behind those bars for ever.

'Julia only went for a couple of days, to get things sorted out in England so that she can come here for good. We didn't tell you in case you were upset, and she's coming home quickly.'

Rosa shook her head. Her eyes were blank.

'No, she isn't,' she said.

He could have wept. If the child had been upset he'd have managed to cope, but her calm acceptance was ominous.

'You'd better talk to her yourself,' he said, hoping the noise he'd heard on Julia's phone didn't mean what he feared. But when he dialled he heard the same noise again and ground his teeth.

'She needs to top it up,' he said in despair.

'Perhaps she won't bother,' Rosa said.

'Of course she will. Why wouldn't she?'

She didn't reply, but her eyes revealed what she really believed: that Julia had blanked them out, and it was convenient for her phone not to work.

'She's probably boarding the plane right now,' he insisted. 'That's why she can't do anything about her phone. We'll hear from her when she lands.'

There was a touch of pity in the little girl's eyes. Why couldn't he face facts?