Lucy Gordon - A Family For Keeps

'You've got everything worked out, haven't you?'

'Not at all. It came to me this minute, because of that phone call, but now it's all becoming clear.'

'Wait, I can't keep up with you.'

'You don't have to. Just say yes to anything I say, and leave the rest to me.' She added unnecessarily, 'I'm a very organised person.'

'So tell me what we're going to do.'

'We're probably not going to do anything,' she said regretfully, 'but if we were I'd say you ought to start making plans. It'll be Carnival soon-'

'In a few weeks. It'll take a year before we could open-'

'I know that, but you could have a big party there during this Carnival, and make a press announcement.'

'A party,' he mused. 'We used to have great Carnival parties there when I was a boy. Such costumes, such outrageous masks!' He gave a sudden grin, full of sensual reminiscence. 'If you only knew the things we did!'

'I think I can imagine. All behind the safety of the masks, of course.'

'Of course. That's what masks are for. When it all started, hundreds of years ago, masks were forbidden the rest of the year. But in the last few weeks before Carnival anyone could hide their face, become someone else, and do as they pleased. Then you had all of Lent to fast and be good, and generally make up for it. The tradition lasted.'

'And did you usually have much to make up for?' she teased.

'Well-' he said in a considering tone. 'A moderate amount.'

'Hmm!'

'Perhaps a bit more than that. When you're a young man-' He stopped with the air of someone choosing his words carefully.

'Go on,' she encouraged.

'Let's just say that self-restraint wasn't considered a virtue.'

'I suppose being a Montese helped.'

'Nonsense. With the mask on, nobody knew who I was.'

'Oh, yeah?' she said with hilarious cynicism.

'Well-maybe.' Again there was the grin, recalling days of delight, before the crushing burdens descended.

'I'll bet the girls were queuing up halfway across St Mark's Square.'

He looked offended. 'What do you mean, halfway across?' He stared into his glass of red wine, seeing it all there, the whirling colours and wild faces, the dangerous freedom and the dangerous use he'd sometimes made of it.

He'd loved that sense of wonderful things about to happen, but it had gone from his life, fading away down the winding alleys, like his outrageous youth.

Only once, recently, had he recaptured that feeling: in the darkness of a hot, sweet night with a woman in his arms who had maddened and intrigued him from the first moment. She had made love to him with a fervour and abandon that had startled even while it had thrilled him.

Afterwards he had told himself that she was his, and it was the biggest mistake he had ever made. But for those few riotous hours he'd known that she belonged in Carnival, beautiful, secret, unpredictable.

'Your face gives you away,' Julia said, watching him.

That startled him. 'What am I thinking?'

'You're remembering your wild youth.'

'Well-yes, but there was a bit more to it than that.' He looked at her leaning back against the cushions, her eyes bright.

'I wish I'd known you then.'

'You might not have liked me. I was a bit of a hooligan, the way young men tend to be when they have too much money and are too much indulged. You know what happened to my family. The fact is that when the crash came I wasn't very well equipped to cope. Too spoiled. Too used to my own way.'

'What happened to your fiancee?' Julia asked, trying to sound less interested than she was.

'She married a man with pots of money. Our engagement party was a Carnival event, with everyone dressed up to look like somebody they weren't-which is ironic, if you think of it.'

'Do you still mind about her?'

He shrugged. 'It's so far away that I can't remember what it felt like to love her. I was another person. You know that feeling.'

She knew it well. Wisdom told her to drop the subject now, but for some reason she couldn't let it go.

'Piero told me how she came down the grand staircase, looking wonderful, and you stood there-'

'Probably with a fatuous expression on my face,' he said. 'I should have seen then that it was the staircase and the surroundings, plus the title, that she really wanted. She just had to marry me to get them. When they weren't on offer any more-' He shrugged.

He gave a brief laugh. 'I suppose in my heart I always knew the truth, but I wouldn't let myself believe it. When she dumped me so fast it was a surprise, and yet it wasn't, if you see what I mean.'

She nodded.

'I'd like you to see one of those Carnival parties,' he said.

'Well, maybe I will, if our idea comes off.'

'Oh, suddenly it's our idea?'

'But it's a good idea. Vincenzo, after what happened to you, you seem to have got your life back together, but. actually you're treading water. It's time to go on to the next thing. Get your home back, and as soon as it's even partly habitable, you, Rosa and little Carlo can take up residence.'

'And what about you?'

'I'll be there, not in expensive rooms because we'll need them for paying customers. I'll just have a tiny place, and we'll meet for business discussions.'

'You mean you'll stay a ghost?' he challenged her. 'You came in the night, now you plan to haunt the fringes of my life?'

'Hardly the fringes, since we'll be living under the same roof. It's the best thing for Rosa. I'll be around when she needs me. She and I can see each other every day, but I won't be intrusive. You say I'll be a ghost, but maybe that's right for her. She's at ease with ghosts, haven't you noticed? She knows some of them are friendly.'

'And is that the best we can ever hope for?' he asked in a low voice.

'I don't know. You once said you'd like to turn time back until before we met. If you did that, I'd be wiped out too, wouldn't I?'

'I didn't mean that,' he growled. 'Do you understand your own feelings about everything? I wish I hadn't met you like this. It might have been so different, but who knows where the road leads from here?'

'Some day-'

'Some day-when one of us has turned the other's life upside down.'

'Yes, we can't get past that, can we?' She sighed. 'The rest is a happy dream, and dreams can only last so long.'

'But you know better than anyone how long dreams can last,' he said. 'As long as you have the courage to make them. Let's keep ours while we can, forget reality and think about us. I know, I know-' He silenced her with his fingertips across her lips. 'Who can tell if there'll ever be an "us"? But can't we pretend, just for a little while?'

She tried to murmur, 'Yes,' but he silenced her again, this time with his lips. The touch of them answered all questions. For a few precious moments there was no other reality but the one to be found in his arms.

When he rose and held out his hand to her she went with him, smiling. As they passed through the dark hall-ways he held her close, burying his face against her neck, her hair, telling of his desire in whispered tones that made the hot eagerness spread through her like fire.

'Mummy!'

The sound ripped through the air, piercing them, driving them apart.

'Mummy, Mummy, no!'

It came from behind Rosa's door and it was followed by a long, despairing wail. Julia was through the door in a moment, putting on the light.

Rosa was sitting up, her eyes closed, her arms outstretched as if in a desperate plea, tears pouring down her face, lost in some terrifying nightmare. Julia sat on the bed and pulled her into her arms, hugging her tightly until the little girl awoke.

'There, darling, there, darling.' She was talking English although she didn't know it. She was aware of nothing except the need to soothe and comfort the child.