Lucy Gordon - Daniel and Daughter

'Now I understand what I saw in your face earlier this evening, when you were looking at Mark and Phoebe,' Daniel said.

'Yes. Phoebe's almost exactly the age I was then, although Mark's a lot younger than Jimmy ever was. And you needn't worry. He'd never do anything to hurt her. I've never seen Mark so slavishly in love.'

'I almost feel sorry for him,' Daniel said with a grin. 'Phoebe's still in the experimental stage. Mark's outstanding chiefly because he's lasted as long as two months. Two weeks is more usual.'

'I envy her,' Lee sighed. 'If I'd been like that at her age I'd have saved myself a lot of heartache.'

'That's what I think. She'll settle down when she's older, but she has so many other things to do first that I prefer her to find safety in numbers.'

Lee chuckled. 'Is she supposed to wait until she's a judge before she gets married?'

'I'm never going to be allowed to forget that remark, am I?' he complained. 'I made it off the top of my head in a television interview and it'll teach me not to speak without thinking. I only meant that I want her to develop her full potential. I don't mind what she becomes-a lawyer, a doctor, an academic, Prime Minister-the sky's the limit.'

'But suppose she doesn't want to do any of those things? She told me she fancied modelling, and she looks like a natural to me.'

'And how many other girls of her age have you heard say they want to be models?'

'Quite a few, but-'

'There you are, then. It's a passing phase. Good grief! When I think how women once had to fight for the chances that my daughter is being handed on a plate! My own sisters had to struggle, while everything was made easy for me.'

'Tell me about that,' Lee said, sensing that here lay the key to a lot about Daniel.

'I had two older sisters and a father with out-dated views. He assumed that his son would need a good education but it never occurred to him that his daughters might want one too. When he died he left what little money there was in trust for me. Jean, my elder sister, got a scholarship to university, and Sarah, the other one, worked as a secretary to help her financially. Later she studied with the Open University and got a good degree. Now she's at Oxford as a mature student, while I support her. I'm helping Jean too, while she takes another degree. Life dealt them bad hands and me a good one, and I think I owe them.'

'So you really mean all those things you…' Lee floundered to a halt, blushingly conscious of what she'd started to say.

Daniel ground his teeth. 'Yes, I really mean them. Although I appreciate that I'm often regarded as a cynical opportunist.'

'Well, that's your own fault,' Lee replied with spirit. 'On television the other night you said women should be wary of you.'

'That was just a neat remark to bring the interview to an end. I mean the things I say and write. I'm not just in it for the money, although I admit the money helps. I have a daughter to provide for, plus an elderly mother and two sisters who are entitled to anything I can do for them.'

'I wish you weren't so brainy,' Lee said with a sigh. 'I read your string of degrees in Who's Who and it scared the life out of me. I'll probably bore you to tears. I'm virtually uneducated.'

He pulled a wry face. 'Now you've got me tongue-tied. Because I want to say something that would make you think me an old-fashioned caveman.' He looked at her with mischief in his eyes. 'Should I risk it?'

'Be brave. Give it a try.'

'Very well. I was going to say that when a woman looks as wonderful as you do a man doesn't care hot long she was at school.'

'That's a disgraceful thing to say,' she told him solemnly.

'It's shocking, isn't it? I really am very apologetic Unfortunately, I also mean it.'

'That makes it worse.'

'I appreciate that. You'll have to try to forgive me.'

'If you promise not to offend again.'

'I don't think I should make rash promises. You see, any minute I may be tempted to tell you that you're the loveliest woman I've ever seen, and it. would be bad enough for me to insult you in those terms without breaking a promise as well. And if I went on to say that the way the candlelight glows in your eyes is making my head spin, you'd probably be dreadfully offended. So I won't say it.'

She regarded him in silence, her eyes dancing. He smiled back and happiness seemed to stream through her. After a moment he sobered and said quietly, 'I'm not just a brain, Lee.'

She met his eyes and felt a shock go through her as she read their unmistakable message of desire and-what? There was some other feeling and Daniel had called it love. With all her heart she longed to believe him, but her hard-learned caution stood like a barrier between them.

'Was your wife brainy?' she asked, to change the subject.

'I've never been married.'

'What? But Phoebe-'

'Oh, Phoebe's my child all right. But I wasn't mar-ried to her mother. I met Caroline at Oxford. I'd just gained my degree, a double first with honours. Immodest as that sounds, I must mention it, because if I'd done less well I probably wouldn't have been an unmarried father at twenty-two.

'Caroline was a scientist, also with a double first. Like me, she stayed at Oxford to do post-graduate work. In between studying we made love. When she told me she was pregnant I just assumed we'd get married. Caroline thought that was hilarious. Marriage had never been on her agenda. I'd been part of an experiment in selective breeding.'

'You mean, because you both had a double first-?'Lee asked, horrified.

'Exactly. The idea was to produce a brilliant child.'

'Ye gods!'

'I expressed it rather more strongly at the time. She was adamant. The child was hers, her own private breeding experiment. But she hadn't taken the paternal instinct into account. I adored that little girl from the moment she was born.

'For the first year things weren't too bad, but then Caroline was offered a job in America, so she gave Phoebe to her sister and her husband, who were childless. They tried to stop me visiting my daughter. They never managed it completely, but there was a time when I was only seeing her once a month.

'When she was four the marriage broke up. Caroline's sister went off with another man and her husband put Phoebe into care. The local authority tried to have her adopted. I had to take them to court to get her back.'

'But what about Caroline? Didn't she take any more interest in her own child?'

'Only at a distance. She sent the local authority a fax supporting me, but she didn't bother to come over. These days I get phone calls demanding to know if I'm educating our daughter properly, and criticising everything I do, but motherly duty stops there. I've taken Phoebe to America a couple of times to meet her, but they didn't get on. Phoebe thinks Caroline's narrow-minded.

'We're happy together: a team. I've tried to make up to her for those first rotten years. I suppose it'll be a while before I know if I've succeeded, but I think she's turning out pretty well.'

In the dim light Lee could see that his face was glowing with fatherly pride, and his voice was vibrant with love for his daughter. She smiled, feeling oddly warmer and closer to him now than she'd done when he was trying to make love to her.

'You don't have to be modest,' she said. 'Any parent would be proud of her.'

'Well, I think so, but then I may be biased.' He grinned. 'I've learned a lot in looking after her. Chiefly I've discovered how fiercely women protect their territory.'

'We do?'

'Certainly. You think you're the only ones who know how to be mothers, and if a man dares to open his mouth you drive him off with harassment. When Phoebe was little, I used to take her to the clinic and we'd sit together in the waiting room with all the other mothers and their children. And every woman in the place would scowl at me for daring to think I could do her job.