Lucy Gordon - Daniel and Daughter

'Then we'd go in to see the nurse, who'd talk about "this poor little motherless mite". One even had the gall to tell me I should get married "because a child needs a mother". I've been a damned sight better mother to Phoebe than either of the two women who've tried it, I can tell you.'

There was a crash from behind him. Lee, who could see what had happened, rocked with laughter at the sight of two waiters scrabbling on the floor, trying to retrieve the dishes they'd broken between them.

'You should keep your voice down,' she said, wiping her eyes. 'That waiter heard you say you'd been a mother, turned to hear more and went right into another waiter who was doing the same thing.'

She didn't add that it was the contrast between his words and his unmistakable masculinity that had caused the minor sensation. Even she, who knew by now that Daniel was a very unusual man, had a shock when she tried to reconcile the almost womanly tenderness of his love for his daughter with the dangerous virility that radiated from every line of him.

Daniel grinned. 'I'll have to be careful what I say. I've never really talked to anyone about this before. I don't want it getting around.'

'I should think you'd make it the subject of the next book.'

'No,' he said at once. 'I shan't write about this. It's too painful. Besides, Phoebe wouldn't like it. But you see, I've come by my beliefs honestly.'

'Yes. I'm sorry. I must admit, I did wonder-'

'If I was making a very good living out of women while secretly laughing at them? It's what most people think. I don't mind the others, but I'd like you to believe me.'

'I do,' she said. 'I'm glad you've told me all this.' She smiled. 'Talking to you is like peeling an onion.'

'You mean I make you want to cry?' he asked in alarm.

'No,' she laughed. 'Layer after layer. There's always something unexpected underneath. You don't look like an academic. You look like-well, like a television star. How did a double first student turn into a chat show host?'

'You mean how did I come to sell out?' he asked with a grin.

'No, no,' she disclaimed hastily. 'I didn't mean that.'

'Why not? It's a fair question. It was an accident, really. I was on one of those late-night TV shows that get watched by three people and a cat. I cracked a few jokes and found myself invited onto an early evening programme. I got onto my hobby horse about how schoolgirls are always ahead of schoolboys at the same age. Before I knew where I was I was talking about my own family, cracking more jokes, and it all seemed to go down well. Suddenly the world was full of people who wanted to pay me ridiculous amounts of money to pontificate on subjects I knew nothing about.'

'What do your family think about you "selling out"?'

'My mother loves it. Jean quarrels with everything I say, and Sarah calls me up after each show to complain about my tie.' He made a slightly wry face. 'I

enjoy it while it lasts. One day people will get fed up with my face and then I'll return to my roots. And I'll be perfectly happy-if you're there with me,' he added on a suddenly deeper note.

His words, and especially his intense tone, gave her a stab of alarm. 'Don't rush me, Daniel. For me- we've only just met.'

'You're worth waiting for,' he said quietly. 'I think I understand you. You missed out a whole stage, didn't you? You married without playing the field, the way Phoebe's doing, the way a young girl ought to.'

She hesitated. He was right, but she couldn't tell him that there was something else that troubled her. She feared his charm because Jimmy had taught her to distrust charm. It was foolish, Lee told herself. There was no real likeness between this strong, mature man and the feckless, selfish Jimmy. And yet she wasn't ready to place her heart unreservedly in Daniel's hands.

Suddenly he looked at his watch and made an exclamation.

'It's past midnight,' he said. 'The dance ended at twelve.'

He summoned the waiter while Lee stared at her own watch in disbelief. It felt as if it were only a few minutes ago that they'd sat down together but, entranced by his company, she'd failed to notice the minutes pass.

In the street he took her hand and they hurried the short distance. As their destination came into view they could see the car park, almost empty. Daniel's car stood isolated, and beside it were the two young people, talking and laughing together.

In the darkness of the trees Daniel pulled her into his arms. 'No one can see us,' he said, 'and I don't know when I'll be able to kiss you again.'

His kiss was quite different from the earlier one. That had been a little tentative, as though he was introducing himself and wasn't sure of his welcome. This embrace had a triumphant quality, as though he was full of happiness and certain of his ultimate victory. The crushing strength of his arms, the firm pressure of his lips on hers, were a promise for the future.

But her caution cried out a warning. He was taking her along too fast. Instinctively she stiffened, and he released her at once.

'You're right,' he agreed with a sigh. 'Let me straighten my tie, and we'll walk sedately back.'

That summer was the most perfect Lee had ever known. It was the idyll she'd been denied as a young girl, the blissful enchanted time when love was at its most romantic. There were no problems in those magic days. There was only this summer, this wonderful man, this ideal love.

Daniel's television show was taking its summer break. He'd insisted on a few weeks off each year to allow him time to write, but this year he gave his time to Lee, asking nothing from her but her company.

He squired her about as innocently as a boy with his first love, claiming no more than kisses. She knew he was playing a waiting game, and that later he planned to demand everything from her-passionate love, marriage, children. But for the moment he was courting her gently, giving her space in which her confidence could grow.

Lee refused to look ahead. It was unthinkable to part from Daniel, but equally unthinkable to launch her little boat onto another uncharted sea, however small the waves might seem now.

'I took a terrible battering from Jimmy,' she said once to Daniel. 'I never knew what was going to happen next, discovering that he'd been stealing, finding him drunk, with other women. Since we divorced I've had peace, because 1 don't have to pay the penalty for anyone else's mistakes and weaknesses. I know I can depend on myself, so I haven't anything to worry about.'

'Haven't you?' he replied, looking at her sadly, 'What about the grey desert of loneliness you're preparing for yourself?'

'But I'm safe,' she said pleadingly.

'And I want you to take risks, because there's no safe place in love, darling.'

Once he grew angry and reminded her that he too had fears that grew out of the past. His were the reverse of hers. He dreaded that she would travel so far with him, then turn aside, leaving him lonely again.

He was still writing his columns, which appeared twice a week in a tabloid newspaper and once a month in a magazine. Lee had started reading them and was delighted with their wit and sympathy. It was like having Daniel there before her, for he wrote as he talked. Even here he was able to surprise her, as she discovered when she found Sonya chortling over the paper one morning. Her eyes were alight with fun as she pushed it over for Lee to read.

Daniel had headed the piece The Woman who Exposed my Secret Self, and it was a hilarious account of their first meeting in the rain and darkness, subtly angled so that the joke was against himself. He hadn't identified Lee. 'Jane', as he called the anonymous woman, existed only to reveal to him his own hidden side. He concluded cheerfully.