Lucy Gordon - The Diamond Dad

'Are you sure?' He sounded so confident that she began to relax.

'Completely sure,' he said firmly. 'Barker's a fighter. He never gives up. Have you ever known him give up when there was something he wanted? Titbits, the best chair, making you stop work to throw his ball? Anything?'

'No,' she conceded. The authority in Garth's voice was almost hypnotic. He'd achieved so much today and it was suddenly easy to believe that he could order everything just as he wanted.

'You're right, he won't give up.' She managed a wonky smile. 'Stupid mutt. Always in the way-'

'Greedy, noisy, clumsy,' Garth supplied. 'Greedy.'

'You said greedy before,' she reminded him.

'However many times I said it, it would still be true. And dirty. Paws like plates, always covered in mud. Unscrupulous.' He hunted for something else. 'Greedy.'

'Scheming,' she supplied. 'Devious. He'd sell his grandmother for a titbit.'

'Dimwitted. Awkward.'

'And greedy.'

'Unreliable.'

'Not unreliable,' Faye protested. 'You could always rely on him to do the wrong thing.'

'That's true. Offend your neighbours, burgle your house, scratch your car-'

Faye broke down again. 'Oh, Garth, he will be all right, won't he? He's got to be.'

He put his arms around her and held her tightly, murmuring, 'It's all going to be fine. We couldn't go through all this for nothing.'

'You were wonderful getting Wakeham to come over.'

'Mr Fixit! That's me!'

'No, I'm serious. It meant so much to the children that you pulled out all the stops.'

'Only to the children?'

'Well, to me too, of course.'

'Yes, of course,' he said with a faint sigh. 'But I got it all the wrong way around, didn't I? If I'd listened to you in the first place-'

'Don't brood about that for ever. I heard what Cindy said to you tonight. She was right. They had him, even if just for a little while. Cindy's a very wise little person.'

'She's wonderful, isn't she? Just recently I've realized how like you she is. All heart. It worries me, because it makes her so vulnerable-mostly to me, at the moment.'

'Yes, she is. But at least you know. You can protect her.'

'Maybe I'm not so good at that. When you were-'

'What?' she asked, for he'd stopped, as if reluctant to say more.

'When we met-you were such a little thing, so delicate and young. You knew nothing about the world. I wanted to protect you from every wind that blew.'

'But I grew up,' she reminded him. 'And then you didn't know what to say to me any more.'

'Maybe I didn't want you to grow up,' he agreed. 'We were so happy then. I didn't want to let any part of it go. Besides, I thought you wanted me to be the strong one, and look after you. You said something once-'

'What did I say?'

'It was the week before Adrian was born and I'd just lost my job. Things looked about as black as they could be. I felt such a failure. Do you remember what you said?'

'Not the exact words, but I know I tried to tell you that I had confidence in you.'

'You said, "Don't worry. I know you'll make everything right." For a moment I was so scared at the trust you were putting in me. Then I knew I had to justify that trust, never trouble you with the burdens, but just make everything right for you-as you wanted me too.'

'But Garth,' she whispered in dismay. 'I was only trying to say that I believed in you, not that you should bear everything alone. I wanted to share all your troubles, but you started hiding them from me.'

'That's why.'

Light dawned on her. 'That time you nearly lost the builder's yard and you only just managed to save it-I didn't know about that until years later.'

'You weren't supposed to find out, ever. I was trying to make everything perfect for you, as a sort of thank- you.'

'Thank-you-for what?'

'For marrying me. I was so grateful. On our wedding day-' He stopped with an awkward laugh.

'Tell me,' she said eagerly. 'Don't stop now.'

'You were five minutes late at the church and I nearly went crazy. I thought you'd taken fright and weren't coming.'

'Why should I take fright?'

'Well, you didn't really want to marry me, did you?' he said heavily. 'It was only because I made you pregnant.'

'But Garth-'

'I always knew, you see. You were so young. You wanted to laugh and have fun like other girls, and you had every right to. And because of me you ended up tied down, surrounded by a flat full of nappies. Oh, you never complained. You were very sweet about it. But it was always there between us, that I'd stolen your youth. I tried to give you everything to make up for it, but it was no good. I never really got it right, did I?'

Faye stared at him. 'You-wanted to marry me?'

'But you knew that. I did everything to get that ring on your finger.'

'Garth, I swear I didn't know. I thought I'd trapped you into marriage.'

'I never said you had.'

'No, but-you never mentioned marriage until then.'

'I didn't dare in case I frightened you off. When you told me about the baby I was thrilled because it was an excuse to make you marry me. I know I practically bullied you into it-telling you instead of asking you. But I was scared to ask in case you said no.' He gave an awkward laugh. 'You know what I'm like when I want something. I tend to grab. I grabbed you before you slipped through my fingers. I thought I'd won but I paid for it, because I was never certain of you afterwards.'

They stared at each other, with the truth between them for the first time.

'I never knew,' she whispered.

'Nor did I. Oh, Faye, what fools we were! All those years- Why did we throw them away?'

She shook her head, dumb with sadness.

'We might have had so much,' he said, 'and we missed our chance.'

'But we still had more happiness than many people have. Things went wrong, but at the start-'

'Yes,' he said heavily, 'we'll always have those memories. And we'll always know that it might have been better still if I hadn't been blind.' He sank his head on his hands.

Faye put her arms about him, overwhelmed by tenderness. 'It wasn't all your fault,' she murmured. 'We lost each other because we both made mistakes.'

He raised his face to her and she took it between her hands to kiss it gently. At first he did nothing, keeping perfectly still and letting her kisses fall on him like sweet balm. As he felt their loving message, the pain and tension seemed to fall away from him and he clung to her.

She wrapped her arms about him, finding again the vulnerable boy she'd fallen in love with. When she laid her lips softly on his, she felt his instant response.

'We might have had everything,' he whispered.

'Hush.' She kissed him to silence. 'We can still have everything, just for tonight.'

The last time they'd lain together in her bed it had been a union of bodies. Now it was a union of hearts. It was she who led the way, drawing him on at every step. Nothing mattered but consoling his pain.

He clung to her in need as well as passion, savouring the warmth of her skin against his, losing himself in her bounty. Sometimes he seemed hesitant, but she offered him all of herself with a loving tenderness that enfolded him and he felt a man again, because this woman loved him.

She'd promised him everything, and she gave him everything. It might, as she'd said, be only for this one night, but they would have this memory in the years to come. Perhaps they would be lonely years, but the moment when their hearts and souls were one again would never entirely leave them.

In the darkness, his face pressed to her sweet-smelling body, it was easy for Garth to see that she, and she only, had given the world a meaning. He'd thrown it all away but she gave it back to him out of a generous spirit. He was more than making love to her. He was seeking refuge in her. And now he understood that this was how it had always been.