Iris Johansen - Across the River of Yesterday

"What in heaven's name is wrong, Gideon?" Serena asked. She had been conscious of the tension radiating from Gideon ever since they had landed in a tiny glade in the middle of the rain forest. At first, she had paid little attention to it; she had been pretty tense herself, and the heavy blackness of the junglelike forest hadn't helped to alleviate it. But the emotion gripping Gideon was somehow… different, and seemed to be increasing every second as they followed Julio through the tropical foliage.

"Nothing. " Gideon's voice was hoarse, oddly tight. "I just don't happen to care for this kind of terrain. It brings back too many memories of Nam." He drew a deep, shuddering breath. "I can't breathe here. Where the hell is Julio going?"

The air was unquestionably hot and humid, but Serena was having no trouble breathing. She slipped her hand into Gideon's in silent support.

"Who knows? But I'm willing to follow him nearly anywhere after that landing. I was sure he was going to crack up. That field was hardly larger than a postage stamp."

Gideon nodded. "He's a fantastic pilot. Let's hope he's an equally fantastic guide. We don't have time to get lost in this damn forest."

"You malign me," Julio said reproachfully. He was leaning against the bole of a huge rain tree a few yards ahead of them. He flicked the beam of his flashlight up to see their faces. "You should know by now that I'm fantastic at anything I turn my hand to, Gideon. I know exactly where we are."

"Good, then you can tell me when we're going to get out of this damn rain forest," Gideon said.

The smile left Julio's face. "I'm sorry, Gideon, I forgot about Na Peng. This forest was the safest place for the two of you to wait, until I could contact Ross. Shall we scratch it, and go on to the fishing village instead?"

"No." Gideon's hand unconsciously tightened on Serena's. "That would be criminally self-indulgent of me. Just get us out of here as soon as you can."

"I will. Wait here." Julio disappeared behind a bank of thick shrubbery and immediately emerged with a ladder. He set it against the rain tree and turned to face them. "Climb up and make yourself comfortable. I'll go on to the village and meet with Ross. I should be back in a few hours."

"Make ourselves comfortable in a tree?" Serena asked blankly.

Julio chuckled. "I forgot to tell you there was a tree house behind those overhanging branches.

Kate and I built it when we first came to Castellano. I assure you it's quite habitable. Kate even lived there for a while. For the past two years we've been using it as a refuge for political prisoners we managed to rescue from the hands of the junta. Sometimes it was days before it was safe to land a plane and get them off the island." He turned away. "Be sure you close the shades before you light the lamp. The foliage of the rain tree is fairly dense, but you don't want to take the chance of being seen." The last words were barely audible as Julio faded into the forest. Dressed in dark jeans and a black flight jacket, he immediately became one with the shadows. Serena would never have believed that the colorful Julio she had first seen at the hotel could be so quickly transformed into the competent, businesslike pilot who had met them at the airport on Santa Isabella only a few hours earlier. Ross was right. The man was an enigma.

She turned back to face the ladder propped against the tree. "Well, I've always wanted to have a tree house. Let's see if Julio's fulfills all our childhood fantasies."

Gideon didn't answer and she cast him an anxious glance as she began to climb the ladder. The force field of tension surrounding him had taken on added dimension, and his palm had felt cold and clammy before she had released it to grasp the rungs of the ladder.

Serena stepped from the ladder onto a platform, and crossed the few feet to the tree house. The door swung open on well-oiled hinges and she peered inside. Though the room was small, the ceiling was high enough for a tall man to stand upright. The beam of Serena's flashlight skimmed quickly around the room. The furnishings were very simple. Mattresses, one pushed against the far wall and the other beneath the window by the door, a rattan chest on which a hurricane lamp had been placed, and a nightstand on the far side of the room beside the mattress. Touching attempts at decoration appeared here and there. There was a polished black vase on the nightstand, and another tall vase occupied a corner. Both vases were empty, as were the rattan holders affixed to the unfinished walls. The denim covers on the mattresses appeared to be pristine, and an air of warm coziness pervaded the tiny room. Strange, considering the sparseness of furniture. It should have appeared stark and bare, but this was not the case. She felt as if all it would take would be a little care, and this small haven would come to life. Something warm and loving lingered here. "I like it." The cone of light played on the woven hemp shutters at the large window next to the door. "I guess I should leave the shutters closed, if we're going to light the lamp."

"No!" Gideon's voice was sharp. "We don't need the lamp. There's no air in here." He strode past her into the room and threw open the shutters. "Turn off the flashlight. There's enough moonlight filtering through the branches to see our way around the room." He stood there a minute at the window and inhaled several times, as if his lungs were starved for oxygen. Then he sat down on the mattress closest to the window, drawing up his knees and wrapping his arms around them. "Come and sit down."

Gideon was correct. The moonlight was bright enough to reveal all Serena wanted to see and a few things that she didn't. Gideon's skin was stretched tight over his cheekbones and his lips were set in a flat line. "Would you like me to leave the door open?" she asked gently.

He was silent for a moment, as if he were undergoing a struggle. "If you wouldn't mind." There was a thread of desperation in his laughter. "Damn, I'm sorry. I know I'm being stupid."

"No!" She crossed the distance separating them and dropped down on the mattress beside him. His arm immediately went around her and she cuddled closer. "You're not being stupid at all. It's very close in here. This is much nicer."

"Yes." His chest was lifting and falling with the harshness of his breathing.

"Would it help to talk about it?" she asked quietly. "Na Peng, I mean."

"Maybe. I don't know." His voice was unutterably weary. "I'll have to tell you sometime. It's part of me, and it's not fair to shut you out."

"I don't want you to tell me if it's going to be difficult for you."

"Easy or difficult, it doesn't matter. You have the right." He closed his eyes, his breathing was shallow. "Na Peng was a prison camp. I was captured and held there for five months. It was… hideous. The atrocities were unbelievable, not only on the military prisoners but on the Vietnamese civilians." He took a breath and hurried on as if he wanted to get it out. "There was a little Vietnamese girl… she couldn't have been more than fourteen. I don't know what she was supposed to have done, but they made us come out into the middle of the compound and watch her punishment. They killed her infant son before her eyes and then took turns raping her." His voice lowered to a tone scarcely audible. "She died the next day."

"My God," Serena whispered. She felt sick. Her arms slid around his waist and held him close.

"I escaped the next month, but I didn't find my way back to our lines for another three weeks." He tried to smile. "And now you know why I don't particularly like rain forests."

But he hadn't accepted Julio's alternate plan when it had been offered, Serena thought, and it had probably been because of her that he had refused. "Gideon-" Her voice broke. "Why the hell didn't we go with Julio?"