Jill Shalvis - Flashback

“I did nothing of the kind.”

“You don’t consider ducking beneath that yellow tape stupid?”

“Only if I’d gotten caught.”

“Hello,” he said, still holding on to her. His fingers tightened. “Caught.”

“Yes, but you don’t count.”

He looked both boggled and irritated. “And why is that?”

“Because what are you going to do, arrest me? Last night you were kissing me, touching me, fu-”

“Okay,” he said with a low laugh. “Now just hold on a second-”

“I’m just saying.” She narrowed her eyes and went for bravado, even though she could hardly breathe while looking at the big blackened sailboat that less than two days ago had been Blake’s Girl .

Aidan had saved her.

He’d saved her and she was poking at him because she was all twisted up inside. So she let out a breath and looked into his face, where she found a surprising blend of sympathy and old affection mixed in with the frustration and fear.

“I came here to talk,” he said. “Not arrest you. Jesus. Now what the hell is this about a gray sedan?”

“Nothing.”

He just looked at her for a long moment. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing.”

“More like everything.” He let out a breath. “Tommy expects you to let him do his job.”

“I’m not going to get in his way. I’m going to help him.”

“Now see, I don’t think he likes help.”

“Too bad for him.”

“It’s going to be too bad for you if you piss him off. He can and will have you arrested if you don’t stay out of his way.”

“Believe me, I plan to stay out of his way.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “New subject then.”

Uh-oh.

“Last night…”

Kenzie didn’t know how she felt about last night. And because she didn’t, she absolutely didn’t want to talk about it. “Yeah. Now’s not a good time for me.”

“You don’t think so?”

She shook her head.

His eyes lit with something that might have been wry humor. He’d been just as beat up as her yesterday, but unlike her, today he did not look like something the cat dragged in. No, he looked tall and fit, and in his loose cargoes and T-shirt, he seemed very in charge of himself and his world.

She, on the other hand, was in charge of exactly nothing at the moment. “Maybe later.” And maybe not.

He hadn’t taken his hands off of her arms, and if asked she’d have said she wasn’t sure how she felt about that, but that would be a lie. At the moment, his support felt like a lifeline.

Her only lifeline. “Tell me something,” she said very quietly, her eyes on his so she didn’t miss any little nuance, because this was very, very important to her. “Arson. It’s a well studied crime, right? The people who do it, most of them belong to a particular character type. Aggressive. Violent. Repeat offenders.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “How do you know this?”

“We did a whole plotline about an arsonist last year. Would you characterize Blake as aggressive or violent?”

“Not even close.”

“Exactly,” she said.

“Which doesn’t prove anything. There’s physical evidence-”

“Okay,” she agreed. She knew about the evidence. “But most arsonists want their work admired. Isn’t that correct?”

“Yes, but-”

“ But Blake maintained his innocence. Tommy told me that much.”

“Yes,” Aidan agreed, his expression reflecting his worry for her, whether he wanted it to or not.

Which she didn’t want to face. She meant to do two things when it came to Aidan, especially after last night. First: keep her distance. And second: leave him pining for her .

It was going to be nearly impossible to handle the second while doing the first but she would give it her best shot. “So can’t you concede that it’s possible that you’re wrong about Blake?”

“I’m not the one accusing him of anything.”

She looked at him, really looked at him, and understood something she’d missed before. He didn’t want to believe the worst of Blake any more than she did, and that was so much more than she expected from him, from anyone, that it was like a balm to all her fear and grief.

He wasn’t against her or Blake. She wasn’t completely alone, at least not in that moment, and she found herself closing the gap between them to wrap her arms around his broad shoulders, hugging him hard, so damn relieved to have him there with her.

With a rough sound, his arms came around her, too, and he pulled her in, letting her lean on him. “Kenzie,” he whispered, bowing his head over hers. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

Yeah. Keeping her distance from him was going to be damned tough.

So would be breaking his heart, but she was still going to do it. It was that, or see hers crushed again, and that was simply not going to happen.

Aidan had never been a hugging sort of guy. He loved physical contact, especially the naked kind, with the fairer sex, but touching just out of sheer affection and nothing else? That hadn’t really been a part of his life. Having been the sort of child who’d made it difficult for others to like him, much less love him, he hadn’t inspired a lot of affection growing up. And working with mostly guys all the time…well, they tended to shove and wrestle rather than hug.

So this, with Kenzie, should have felt awkward. Alien. At the very least it was an intrusion of his personal space that he would have thought would make him squirm to be free.

But it didn’t. Even though a piece of her hair was poking him in the eye and she was stepping on his toe, and her nose-pressed against his throat-was icy enough to make him wince, he didn’t move.

In fact, he tightened his arms on her, pressing his face into her hair, inhaling her as if he didn’t want to let go.

Because he really didn’t.

She was warm and soft and sweet, and when her fingers slid into his hair he nearly purred. His hand skimmed down her spine, pressing low on her back, urging her even closer as he just continued to breathe her in.

Just down the dock, two seagulls argued over some found treasure. Water slapped at the wood pylons. Beyond that, the devastation of the fire sat right before their eyes. Aidan didn’t want her looking at it. “You need to get out of here.”

“Yeah.” She stepped back. “I know. I’m going.”

He caught her hand, and when she looked at him questioningly, he saw the truth in her eyes. Wherever she was headed, it was to make trouble.

“I’m a big girl now.”

Yes. She was a woman who could more than take care of herself. Which in no way eradicated the need within him to protect her. “Have you eaten?”

She stared at him, then let out a low breath. “I tell you I can take care of myself and you want to feed me? Even after I also told you that I only wanted to be with you in order to break your heart?”

“Yeah, see, about that…” He stroked a loose strand of hair off her face, letting his finger trace the rim of her ear, absorbing her little shiver. “I don’t really believe you.”

“Oh, it’s true,” she said with utter conviction. “I’m going to break your heart.”

“That wasn’t the only reason you stayed with me last night. Slept with me.”

“Okay, true. You saved my life. I owed you.”

He shook his head. “That wasn’t it, either.”

“What was it then, smart guy?”

“You like being with me.”

A helpless laugh escaped her at that.

“I like being with you, too, Kenz.”

She shook her head. “You’re off your rocker.”

“Already established. So. Food?”

She stared at him, then caved. “I guess I could eat.”