Jill Shalvis - Flashback

Loudly.

She might have even screamed it.

As the blood finally slowed in her veins, as the roar of it lowered to a trickle in her head, she became aware of the fact that she was gripping him tight, holding him close with her arms and her legs, not letting him escape.

He didn’t say a word, just nuzzled lazily at her neck as his breathing slowed.

Hers wasn’t slowing. Embarrassed at how tightly she was holding him, she forced herself to let him go, certain he’d roll away.

But in perhaps the loveliest thing he’d done all night, he didn’t. Instead, he remained right where he was, turning just his head to press his lips to her jaw, murmuring her name on a sigh.

It was one of those defining moments, where she suddenly knew the truth-she’d not exacted a single ounce of revenge. In fact, she’d made things worse.

She’d risked her own heart.

But for that one moment at least, she didn’t care, because maybe he’d changed. Maybe things could be different this time, and-

“You screamed my name.” He lifted his head, revealing a strong smile. “You begged.” He out-and-out grinned then, not broken, not even a little bit. “We still work hard.”

“There’s no we .” She pushed him off her, suddenly and irrationally irritated. “No we at all.”

Completely oblivious to the picture he made sprawled out on the bed, buck naked, he put his hands behind his head and continued to smile like an idiot. “Are you telling me you have no desire to do that again?”

“None.”

“Ah, Kenzie. You’re such a pretty liar.”

Yeah. Yeah, she was. A pretty liar, and a good liar. But she had no idea how else to hide the fact that she still had feelings for him in spite of their past-or maybe because of it. God. She needed to get out for a while, needed to clear her head. Get some answers. Alone.

“Stay,” he murmured.

“Okay.” She looked at him. “I’ll stay if you tell me this. Why did you really dump me?”

At that, his amusement faded. “I told you I was an idiot back then.”

“Granted. Why else?”

He looked at her and she nearly backed down; she certainly held her breath, but he touched her face. “Because I didn’t know what I had.”

AIDAN SLEPT like the dead. Or like a man who’d been far too close to serious exhaustion. When he opened his eyes, he felt the various aches and pains from the fire, and from the mattress gymnastics he and Kenzie had executed, and was grateful to know he had two days off, because more sleep was on his To Do list. Much more.

So was more mattress gymnastics.

Considering that Kenzie was wrapped around him like a pretzel, that shouldn’t be too difficult to manage. As he looked into her face, taking in each of the cuts and the bruises there in the light of day, he felt a tug in his belly.

He wished like hell he could say he was just hungry, but he knew the truth.

He was a goner.

She was as cut up and bruised as he was, more so, and if he hurt like hell, he could only imagine how she felt. He was used to such injuries. She wasn’t.

“I realize I’ve spent my days on a television set, where my worst injury was a paper cut from that day’s script,” she whispered, eyes still closed. “But I’m not feeling as bad as I probably look.”

Her face was relaxed now; and he realized it hadn’t been before-not on Blake’s boat, not when she’d crawled in bed with him, not even when he’d stripped her out of his shirt and proceeded to make her scream.

That he’d undone her so easily didn’t stroke his ego. She’d undone him just the same. It’d always been like that for them, a virtual explosion of need and lust and hunger.

But he’d attributed much of that to being young and horny. He hadn’t anticipated a resurgence of those feelings, And he doubted she had either. But that’s exactly what they’d gotten.

With a sigh, she slid out of his arms and off the bed. He enjoyed the view as she walked to the bathroom, but when she shut the door, his smile faded. She needed sustenance, and a bandage change. Getting up, he pulled on his jeans and went into the kitchen, where he grabbed a pan and eggs and went to work getting them both some protein so that they could go back to bed and burn it all off again.

His doorbell rang and Aidan stopped dicing peppers long enough to sign the clipboard of a pudgy guy in brown shorts, who handed him a slim package.

When he heard the shower go off, he finished the eggs and then grabbed his first-aid bag and knocked on the door. “Bandages, aspirin and breakfast. And your package from L.A. is here.”

“Perfect timing-I’ve got to run.”

“You mean back to Los Angeles?”

The door opened and steam came out. As did Kenzie wrapped in another of his towels. “Not back. Not yet.”

The towel was tucked between her breasts, which pushed them up and nearly out, a fact he’d have taken the time to thoroughly enjoy except for the nasty bruise arcing along her left collar bone. “You need rest.”

“I need clothes.” She moved past him and into his bedroom. “Can I borrow a pair of sweats?”

“Sure.” He opened his dresser and handed the clothes over.

“Thanks. I’ve really got to go.”

She was going to go snoop. Get in Tommy’s way. Get herself arrested. “Kenzie, listen to me. You need to stay out of the investigation. The chief doesn’t want you digging-”

“I don’t work for him. He can’t tell me what to do.”

“If you stay-”

“No. Thank you, but, no.”

Usually in the light of day, with a woman in his bedroom, he was the one who had to go. Usually.

Okay, always.

It felt odd to have the shoe on the other foot. Especially given the magnitude of what they’d shared last night, and he wasn’t alone in feeling it, dammit. He knew he wasn’t.

But Kenzie moved carefully away from him, slowly, as if still in pain, but with conviction. She was set on going, leaving him with a disconcerted feeling in his gut.

Was this how he’d made women feel? Like they’d already been forgotten? “Let’s change your bandages-”

“I can do it on my own.”

Seemed she was used to doing stuff on her own. That was new.

So was his unsettledness over the way this was going down.

“Yeah,” she said at his quiet surprise. “I’m not the same helpless little thing I used to be.”

“I never thought you were helpless.”

“Well, I was. But I’ve grown up. I’ve changed. In many ways. And I don’t need anyone’s help. For anything.”

He arched an eyebrow. “You needed me when we-”

“No. Well, yes, yes, I needed you to save me from the fire, but-”

“That’s not what I was talking about.” He pointed to his bed.

“Oh, no. That was just me, breaking your heart. I warned you, remember.”

Bullshit. That hadn’t been just revenge. “Kenzie.”

“Sorry. Got to go. Have to go.” Once again she dropped her towel, which had the same magical effect on him as it had last night. While he stood there taking in the glorious sight of her naked body, she pulled on the sweats, kissed him on the cheek, then walked out of the room.

And, given the sound of the front door opening and then closing, out of his house.

And, most likely, out of his life.

Fitting justice really, as he’d once done the same to her. Moving to the living room, he looked out the window in time to catch her taillights as they vanished down his driveway.

I’ve changed, she’d said, and she had.

But as the blood once again began a northward flow from behind the zipper of his pants back up to his brain, another thought managed to get his attention.