Carly Phillips - Cross My Heart

“God, Lilly, I had no idea.”

The raw distress in his voice touched a place deep inside her. She didn’t want him holding himself responsible for something he hadn’t caused. He’d saved her life and she’d never forget.

He reached out and grabbed her hand. Ten years too late and yet it was exactly what she needed now.

“None of us did.” She curled her fingers around his, the warmth and strength giving her the motivation to continue. “But things got better after that. The woman who hired me-her name was Marina-let me sleep on the floor in her apartment until I found a dirt-cheap rental.”

“How bad was it?”

She hadn’t wanted to upset him but he’d asked. “The place came with company. There were cockroaches on the walls.” She tried not to gag on the vivid memory. “And a drunk lived next door. He liked to wander the halls in the dead of night. The locks on the apartment door didn’t work and the superintendent ignored my requests to fix it. I couldn’t afford to pay for a locksmith myself so I’d drag a dresser in front of the door at night for security.”

“God,” he said again. He ran a hand over his face.

She didn’t know what to say, so she remained quiet.

Finally he asked. “And what’s your life like now?”

A much easier topic, she thought, and smiled. “I run a business called Odd Jobs that caters to the working man or woman,” she said with pride in her voice. “I have about fifteen employees depending on the day and their moods. We walk dogs, clean apartments, food shop, whatever the busy person needs us to do. Over time I’ve accumulated a loyal clientele and I’ve been able to increase prices. Things are going pretty well.”

He grinned. “You’ve made an amazing climb.”

The way she’d seen it, she had no choice but to keep going.

“I admire you, you know.”

His words took her by surprise, but warmed her at the same time. Still, she wasn’t looking for his pity or admiration.

“I only did what I had to do to survive. What about you?” she asked Ty.

She wanted to know why he had dropped out of college when that had been his goal for so long. And what explained the difference in his tone when he’d spoken of his mother? The shift had been subtle, but she’d noticed it just the same. She wondered what had caused it.

“Ty? What happened to you and Hunter after I left?” she asked, curious to fill in those years.

“That’s a story for another day.” He glanced down and his eyes suddenly widened, as he realized he still clasped her hand in his.

She wished he’d pull her up and into a long, lingering kiss. The kind she used to dream about when she slept in his house, his room a few feet away. And later, the kind that kept her warm at night when she thought she’d go crazy from fear and loneliness.

Tonight wasn’t the first time she’d seen longing and desire in the depths of his eyes and it wasn’t the first time she’d allowed herself to let the present disappear. Just like before, when they were together, little else mattered.

“It’s late and we should get some sleep.” He rose from his seat, lifting his hand away from hers.

Disappointment clogged her throat even as she appreciated his hold on common sense. Obviously she had none. “You still like to call the shots, I see.”

He shrugged without apologizing for his controlling nature. “You have some big decisions to make and I’m sure sleep will help,” he said, his voice softening.

“I’ve already decided.” She nodded firmly, knowing she had no choice.

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re coming home?”

Swallowing hard, she nodded. “But I just can’t pick up and leave without settling some things here first.”

“The business?”

“Primarily. I need to get someone to run things until I get back.” Mentally, she’d already begun to make a list of people to call and things to do. “I also have neighbors that will worry. Friends and-” Alex, she thought, knowing he’d panic if she suddenly disappeared.

She knew she’d hate it if he just took off on her. They were beyond the dating stage. Way beyond. He wasn’t the first man she’d been intimate with but he was the only one she truly cared for. Yes, she realized something was missing and being with Ty, she knew the sizzling sexual attraction was just one part of their problem. Or at least a part of her problem, Lacey thought. Alex obviously had no such issues.

He also had no idea Lacey had a past that could someday come calling, disturbing her life and rousing compelling emotions she didn’t feel when she was with him, she thought, guiltily glancing at Ty.

“And what?” Ty asked, picking up on what she hadn’t said.

She shook her head. “Nothing. There are just people who’d miss me and be concerned.”

He let out a slow, patient groan. “I’m not dragging you out of here kicking and screaming. Take the time you need to get your things here in order. Then if you forget anyone, you can always call from the road.” He paused, his eyes narrowing. “Unless there’s someone important that you haven’t mentioned?”

“Such as?” She hedged, knowing the coming conversation was going to be difficult.

He massaged his forehead with his fingers. “Boyfriend or someone you need to check in with?” His words sounded brittle as he spoke.

She drew a deep breath. “As a matter of fact, there is someone.” Guilt immediately swamped her.

“I see,” he said stiffly.

She’d been living on her own for ten years and had no reason to feel as if she’d betrayed Ty by seeing someone else. Yet looking into Ty’s eyes, she did feel guilty. Terribly guilty.

“His name is Alex,” she said, forcing herself to admit the truth and hopefully keep the other man real to her in the process. “And I can’t just pick up and leave without getting in touch with him.”

Ty inclined his head, the motion curt. “Well, nobody’s stopping you from checking in with the important people in your life.”

She swallowed hard, the sense that she’d somehow hurt him filling her with intense pain. “Fine. We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay?”

Without answering, he strode past her and headed back to the couch. He lay down and Digger jumped on top of his legs, settling in.

“Hussy,” Lacey muttered to her pet as she walked back to her room and closed the door behind her.

She wasn’t comfortable with how she’d left things with Ty but then she wasn’t comfortable with the state of her life these days. It was a tough thing to admit, seeing as how she prided herself on survival and doing well. But she hated feeling unsettled and her inability to commit to Alex was but one symptom.

A few short hours with Ty and already she sensed the difference in her reactions to both men. She shivered, knowing in her heart that difference meant something important. And knowing, too, that her time in Hawken’s Cove would define exactly what.

Ten years ago, Lacey had left a life behind and hopped a bus for New York City with no idea what to expect there. Tomorrow she was about to go back to where it all began except this time, she knew exactly what awaited her. She tossed and turned for the rest of the night.

The only thing that kept her from changing her mind was her parents. If she didn’t go back, nothing would be left of her family and their legacy. Nothing good, anyway. She owed it to them to take control of what was rightfully hers. She owed it to herself to finally put the past behind her by facing it, not running away.

Even if that past included Ty.

TY AWOKE with Lilly’s ugly mutt stretched out on top of him and the sun streaming in through the open window blinds in Lilly’s apartment. He hadn’t slept well but who could blame him? Between his smelly couch mate and Lilly’s revelation that there was someone special in her life, sleep had eluded him.