Kim Karr - Torn

“I love you, too, Bell.”

We head toward the kitchen and I look outside. Nix and Garrett have joined River and Xander and they’re all sitting around the table, talking calmly. I hope they can come to terms with River’s decision because they’re so important to him. It wasn’t easy for him to quit but I’ve come to believe it was the right thing for him to do. He loves to sing and play guitar, but he never wanted to be famous; he couldn’t live his father’s dream. He loves music but it needs to be on his own terms.

I’m staring out the window, watching as he runs his hands through his hair, when I blurt out, “Do you think everything happens for a reason?”

Bell grabs a stack of plates and sets them on the counter. “Yeah, I hope so. I’d like to think it does, anyway.”

Shoving the pans in the oven, I close the door and turn it on. My next words catch in my throat but I push them out. “What made you decide to give up the baby?”

She stares at me for a long moment before she answers. “After everything that happened, I just knew the baby would be better off with two parents who loved it.”

There’s another stretch of silence, but I think it’s understood that we both accept the strange situation. We will be okay. Neither one of us will let anything harm our friendship. Opening the refrigerator, I grab two bottles of water and hand her one.

Bell laughs and takes a sip. “And come on, Dahlia, let’s be real. Could you see me with a five-year– old right now?”

“I think you’d be surprised at what you could do.”

Snorting, she says, “What? Isn’t it normal that a twenty-five-year-old lives with her mom?”

“Bell, you can change that anytime you want. You’re doing great—you’re managing to juggle two jobs and, from what I hear, doing fantastic in both of them.”

“Actually, I am moving. Xander found me an apartment in West Hollywood after I told him how much I really love my job with Tate. Xander is replacing me as soon as possible so I can start working full-time there.”

“That’s great, Bell. See, you can do whatever you want!”

The front door opens, and, in a whirlwind, Aerie rushes to the kitchen. She throws her purse on the counter and hurries over to me. We hug each other for a long time. “Dahlia, I am so sorry,” she says.

When we break apart I look into her saddened eyes as she looks at me with affection and I manage to say, “I’ve missed you so much,” before breaking down completely.

Bell leaves us alone and joins everyone else on the back deck. I have so much to tell Aerie but now doesn’t feel like the right time. She puts her arm around my shoulder and leads me through the front door where we sit on the steps and talk about Grace.

About fifteen minutes later, the door opens and Bell stands there with the portable phone in her hand. “Dahlia, it’s Serena, she says she really needs to talk to you.” Handing it to me she whispers, “I’m going to go get dinner ready.”

I nod and give her a warm smile.

A million horrible thoughts about Trent drift through my mind as I put the phone to my ear and cautiously say, “Hello.”

“Dahlia, please come over. I need your help. I just can’t do it.”

“It’s okay, Serena, calm down. What can’t you do?”

“Pick out her clothes,” she cries into the phone.

“Her clothes?” I swallow.

“I have to bring them to the funeral home by six. Could you come over and help me pick something out?”

Sadly, I know exactly what she’s talking about. “Let me just change and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

My stomach knotting, I look at Aerie. “I have to go, Serena needs help with some of the arrangements.”

Before I even get to the door, River opens it. His arms circle me and hold me tight. He kisses my head and whispers, “What’s going on?”

I am not sure how he’s going to take this, but at the same time I have to go and he can’t come with me. Even before I can tell him anything Aerie says, “I’ll drive you to Grace’s.”

I nod okay.

River and Aerie say hello to each other and she steps inside.

“Do you want me to take you?” River asks me reaching his hands to cradle my face.

My determination falters as I contemplate letting him drive me. But I know I can’t because if Ben is there they’ll just go at it again. And I can’t do that to Serena. “I think I should go alone. Please understand.”

His body stiffens, but relaxes when I lean into his touch and slide my mouth to kiss his hand. He then presses his forehead against mine, silently acknowledging his acceptance.

As we enter the house the rest of the guys are just walking inside. Bell is in the kitchen taking the trays out of the oven and Nix and Garrett start shoving each other to get the first plate. Xander is helping to set the rest of the food out as Aerie instructs him how to do it. He snaps at her and she doesn’t hesitate to give it right back to him. Everything looks back to normal.

I grab River’s hand. “Come with me. I’m going to change my clothes before I go.” Then pulling him down the hall with me I ask, “Will you be okay here?”

A small chuckle escapes him, “Yeah, I’ll be fine, Dahlia. I’m a big boy.”

He flops himself on the bed, kicks his feet up, and leans back against the headboard.

“That’s not what I mean. How did your conversation with Xander go?”

He smiles and pulls me onto the bed with him. “It went much better than the last time. We didn’t yell or argue. It started out rough but Xander surprised me. It was like it somehow clicked, like he finally understood that life wasn’t for me.”

Staring into his tranquil green eyes, I’m relieved that he and his brother are talking again. “What about the other guys?”

His smile grows even wider. “We talked and they aren’t happy that I won’t be with them, but they’ve accepted my decision. They told me our friendship is more important than anything else.”

I close my eyes in gratitude for a second, so happy his brother finally understood and he had his friends back.

“Ellie agreed to Jack’s suggestion for a potential new lead singer. They’re going to meet tomorrow.”

I sit up and glare at him. Rolling my eyes I mutter, “Yeah, I bet she did.”

Reaching for my hands, he sits up, too, and pulls me onto his lap.

Cradling his face in my hands, I examine his expression before kissing him hard, making sure to suck on his bottom lip before stopping. Shrugging, I joke, “Sorry, I just needed to get her name off your lips.”

Shaking his head, he grabs my T-shirt and pulls me back to him. Our mouths meet with such intensity that I almost forget for a moment about everything that has happened. He pulls back and both of us are breathless. He takes my face between his palms, his eyes beaming with the same emotion I feel when I’m with him—pure happiness. And I know what we have will never be torn apart.

The light at the intersection turns green and cars drive past us as horns behind us relentlessly honk. Aerie sits in the driver’s seat, gripping the steering wheel in utter shock. “That f-ing son of a bitch.”

As she’s never one to really swear, I’m used to hearing her curse in abbreviations.

I wasn’t going to say anything to her, but one thing led to the next when I thanked her for driving me since my car was still in Santa Barbara.

“That f-ing son of a bitch. Wait until I see him,” she repeats as she swings the steering wheel to head down the street leading to Grace’s house. Silence fills the air and I can see the gears turning in her head.

“Aerie, not now, not today. Please,” I tell her as she parks the car.