C. Brown - Fraternizing

We walked in and grabbed our food, then sat down at the first available table. I played with my food while my mind darted back to Alex, Angelica, and Castillo.

"Earth to Cassie." He waved his hand in front of me, breaking me from my daydream.

"Cassie? You never call me that."

"Well, I had to get your attention somehow. And anyway, I like your first name better. What the heck is going on with you? And don't tell me nothing because I'm no idiot."

I exhaled a deep breath. I did not want to go into the ins and outs of everything that was irking me. I didn't want Dalton to know what I had been up to. I didn’t want him looking at me differently.

"I'm just sick of Angelica and her petty shit, that's all. I keep thinking about how much longer I have to live with her, and it's starting to really bother me."

"Well, you could always ask for a different room assignment."

"And cave to that bitch? I don't think so."

He smiled and lightly shook his head. My answer seemed to placate him, and that was all I really needed. I wasn't about to delve into my transgressions in a military chow hall where ears were as wide as the days were long.

I picked over my food, eating very little before I was ready to head back to my room and dig back into my study manual. Dalton put me on his back and ran us all the way back, finally giving me a reason to laugh. I hadn't joyously laughed in what felt like forever. Not since Alex had hastily checked out. When we got back to the room, Angelica was gone.

Thankfully.

Dalton followed me in, plopping down on my bed as I grabbed my manual and sat down next to him. His eyes bore into me, but I kept my head down, trying to ignore the fact that I knew so much more was coming.

"Cassie, talk to me."

I didn't look up from my manual. Instead, I turned the page and tried to focus even harder.

"I can only imagine you hate living with Angelica, but that's not the end of it. And I wasn't going to push you to talk in a crowded chow hall, but now it's us. Talk to me." His voice was a soft plea, and it cut down to my bones.

I felt awful for leaving him in the dark, especially since he had dug into his closet and shared deeply personal information. I’d never had a shoulder to lean on, a confidant, a real friend. I looked at him and found nothing but compassion in his eyes. The longer he looked at me, the weaker I became.

"You haven't been yourself all week. I've been worried, but I didn't want to push you."

"I've been fine. Have you seen me crying?"

"People don't have to cry to show their hurt, Cassie. What's going on with you?"

I stood. Walking to the bathroom, I internally debated telling him or not. Before I could come to a conclusion, he spoke again, this time jolting me back into reality.

"This has something to do with Sgt. Cruz, doesn't it?"

Prickles shot up all over my arms as the hair on the nape of my neck stood at attention. I didn’t want to turn around and face him, but standing there like a statue was just as incriminating, so I finally turned and looked into his eyes.

"What makes you say that?" I meekly asked, hoping to fend him off.

"Well, by your reaction, I would say I'm right. And anyway, we're friends. I've gotten to know you well since combat training, and I can read you. I'm pretty good at that, you know."

The smile he gave, and the sincerity in his eyes, cracked me. I couldn’t stand to lie to him any longer, or omit anything that I knew was already true.

"Yes. This has to do with Cruz," I finally said, feeling the weight of the world leave my shoulders with every word.

He patted my bed, scooting over and making room for me to sit down.

"What happened?"

I filled him in on everything. From the night we met at Coyotes, to the formation, clear up until Alex's sudden mood change. The information had been stored in me like a stuffed box, ready to burst. I never thought I’d be so relieved to tell someone about what was going on between me and my instructor, but I was, and Dalton was supportive. He pulled me into a hug, holding me close while he rested his chin on the top of my head.

"You poor thing. Why didn't you tell me? I can't even imagine having to walk around holding all of that in."

"I was scared. We can lose so much if this gets out."

"I know that, but seriously, you have to have an outlet."

I pulled away from him, wanting to look into the only friendly face in my life at the moment.

"So what happened with Angelica this morning? Because between making breakfast plans and meeting up, you were different, and not in a good way."

"I guess I'm not the hard ass I think I am, huh?"

"Nope."

I scooted back on my bed, crossing me legs Indian style while facing him.

"Well, Alex hasn't spoken to me in over a week. Okay, whatever. But I saw Angelica in the parking lot with Sgt. Castillo this morning, and when she came back up here she was telling me that all of the instructors went out last night to celebrate Alex's NCO of the Quarter award--"

He laughed.

"Can I just say it's super weird for me to hear him being referred to as Alex? That's all. Go on."

I smiled at him, realizing that it was probably a little weird since we typically went by rank and last name.

"Sorry. Anyway, she let me know that according to Sgt. Castillo, she and Sgt. Cruz," I emphasized his name, "fucked in her Jeep last night."

"What the hell? Do you believe her?"

"I don’t want to. Angelica and Castillo have nothing but hate for me. I wouldn't put it past them to come up with some shit to try and catch me...or break me."

"Hmmm. Well, I think you should just be forth coming and ask him."

"He won't respond to me. And I don’t really think I should. We aren’t together. We've never been a couple, so what's the point? If he wants to fuck everything walking, that's his right."

"But what about you? I know you're looking at it as just fucking, but from everything you've just told me, I think it’s a little more than that."

He had me.

He had me pegged, and I absolutely hated it.

"Look. I saw you happy, probably the happiest I have ever seen you while your little cat and mouse game was going on, but now you’re the lowest I've ever seen you. So, I think you owe it to yourself to at least try and find your footing where he's concerned."

"I'm not chasing anyone."

"No one said chase. But you should definitely ask. At least put the rumor to rest."

"I've tried contacting him. He won't respond. There's nothing else I can do."

"I bet if you were blunt with it, he'd respond."

His words blared out like a neon sign. Of course being direct would back him into a corner, and I’d seen Alex backed into a corner. He got aggressive. But if I was going to put my mind at ease, I had to do it.

"You're right. Hand me my phone please."

I took my phone from Dalton and typed out a text to Alex.

Alex

Cassie: You ditched me and started something up with Castillo? Way to not fuck and run, Alex.

Her text woke me out of my drunken stupor. Last night had been an awful idea.

Fuck!

And now, somehow Cassie knew about, or at least she’d heard about what happened between me and Castillo. The only person who could have told her would have been Castillo herself, and it infuriated me. I didn't want her anywhere near Cassie, and I certainly didn't want her throwing that fucking mistake in her face.

I read the text message a few times, thinking about how their interaction must have gone, and grew more and more angry by the second. Of all the people to be completely and utterly stupid with, why the fuck did I have to do it with Castillo? Why did I have to be stupid in the first place?