Chandin Whitten - Beautiful Misery

The bartender nodded and grabbed a shot glass, filling it up. I threw it back and sat the glass down. He filled it back up and I swallowed the alcohol, setting the glass back down. We kept up the routine until I had seven shots in me.

Big guy to my right asked, “Darlin’ you sure someone your size should be slammin’ shots back like that?”

I wrapped my arm around his shoulder. “Are chu jusa sweetheart? I’an handle s’alcohol. Dat right, Misser Tucker?” My words sounded like a jumbled mess even to me.

Gage gave a quick nod to the bartender who sat another shot glass on the bar and filled it up. Gage wrapped his mouth around the glass and tossed the glass back. “Don’t worry, Mike. She’s mine. I got her.”

Big guy to my right smiled. Gage and I did three more shots before Leigha joined us. She looked pissed. She grabbed my shot and drank. “Bitch. Get’r own.”

“Fine. I’ll take what she has. A never ending supply please.” Leigha batted her lashes at the bartender.

My head was screaming at me. My stomach wanted to lurch outside of my body. I felt like death. Cracking my eyes open I looked around. I was at Gage’s house. I was in Gage’s bed…alone.

On the nightstand next to me was a thermos of coffee, a bottle of aspirin, and a banana. Using the coffee I took four aspirin and ate half the banana. My stomach was hating me. Against my better judgment I slowly got out of bed. Walking down the hall I heard giggling coming from one of the rooms. You can’t be serious? He puts me in his bed then takes another girl to one of his spare rooms? I had angry and hurt tears fighting my eyes. Trying to get passed the sound as fast as possible I clenched my jaw to stop the pounding in my head and ran down the stairs.

Gage was in the kitchen. How could he be in the kitchen and upstairs at the same time?

“Would you like some bacon?”

I stood stunned. “How did I get here? And, who’s up there?” I pointed toward the ceiling.

Gage gave me the ‘I don’t feel like answer dumbass question looks’ before saying, “Trent and Leigha. How do you think you got here, Annie? I had one of my men drive your car over this morning. You were shitfaced. I wasn’t about to leave you alone in a bar full of horny men and wish you luck. You’re mine.”

Sighing, I shook my head. “No, Gage, I’m not. I don’t think I ever really was.”

He took a few steps toward me and I held my hands up. “Don’t, okay?” I walked passed him and out the back door.

Annie

Picking up a handful of sand I watched as it fell through my fingers. I felt hands rub my shoulders and Gage’s rough voice asked, “You ok?”

I had to do this. I had to end it. This was too much. I loved Gage. I guess sometimes you can love someone too much. Gage sat beside me. He pulled his knees up and rested his arms on them. I knew he could feel it. He wasn’t a moron.

“When do you decide to throw the towel in? To give up? Admit that you’re fighting a lost cause?” I looked up from the sand, to see Gage watching me. “This is too much, Gage. I am so tired of fighting this. Fighting the inevitable. I quit. I can’t do this anymore. It’s breaking me down. I’m not happy.”

Gage looked at the crashing waves. “I gave you your family, Annie. What more do you want?” He let out an empty laugh, “You know, the last time a girl ended things with me it was on the beach, too.”

“This is what I’m talking about. I feel like I am the only person fighting for us. Was I just a girl who kept your dick wet? Is that all I was?” I could hear my voice getting higher.

Gage ground his teeth. His jaw was ticking. He snapped his head to me and yelled, “What the fuck? I gave you what you wanted so you would be happy. You told me you wanted to be with me, only me. I agreed. I wanted you to be happy. Do you know how many girls I told no because I had made a promise to you?”

“Wow! Seriously, that’s all you can say? You’re not even going to try and stop me from leaving?”

“What the hell do you want, Annie? I could tell you I can’t breathe without you, but that would be a lie. I don’t need someone to breathe. I could tell you I would die without you, but that would be a lie. I will keep on livin’ long after you’re gone. I could profess my undying love but again, fuckin’ lie. I don’t love you. I can’t love you. I won’t love you. Not the way you want me to.”

Jumping to my feet, I took off walking down the beach toward Gage’s house. “Fuck you Gage Tucker. I am done with this back and forth shit. When you figure out what you want, talk to me. Maybe I will forgive you. Until then, screw you.”

I needed to pack my stuff and go. I was done with his games. My heart and my head couldn’t take anymore. Walking into his house, I shut the door and ran up the stairs to his room. I had my stuff packed and in my car before Gage walked into the house. I saw him coming through the back door as I was shutting the front door, tossing my key onto the entry table just before the door closed. I didn’t wait to see if Gage was going to come after me. I got in my car and drove away. Leaving my heart behind.

Pulling into the driveway of my small two bedroom condo I shut my car off. Gabe was still gone. I had time to unpack and get my shit together. My son didn’t need to see me a mess.

Walking into my bedroom I saw the picture of Gage and I from his first game as a Saint. He was covered in sweat and looked amazing.

I lost it.

“You have to go. You already RSVP’d that you would be there. I need you to be there. I don’t want to sit by myself watching Trent’s friends get married. I mean the few times I have been around them they seem pretty cool but boo! Don’t make me go alone. Pretty please?” Leigha was practically begging at this point.

Flopping down on my bed I let my breath out. “I can’t be around him. I love Sadie and I don’t want to hurt her but I don’t want drama to ensue at her wedding.”

Leigha stood her ground. “Damn you hard headed woman. Get off your damn ass, get a sexy little dress on and let’s go. This isn’t about you and Gage. This is for Tyler and Sadie. Ignore dumbass and have fun. Maybe you can meet some hot football player and make Gage cray jelly. But you need to get your ass ready and to the wedding to do that. Now let’s go!”

Rolling my eyes I shoved off my bed and to my feet. “Will you shut the hell up? I’m getting ready. Now go away.”

“Yay! I can’t go anywhere. Who else is going to make you look bangable? Oh, I know, you should wear that light yellow gown you got for that awards show you are supposed to go to with Gage. It fits you perfect. It’s long and flowy and makes you look like a beach angel. Totally hot.”

Groaning, I said sarcastically, “What’s wrong with what I have on?” Looking down at my over-sized tee shirt and sweatpants, I smirked.

Leigha stuck her tongue out before turning on her heel and walking to my closet. Flinging the door back she rummaged through my clothes. “Ah! Here it is. It’s even more gorgeous than I remember. It will get all the guys attention.”

“Whatever. I don’t want attention. I just want to go say congrats to Sadie and Ty then leave.”

“Oh don’t worry sweetie. I will have you leaving, just not by yourself. Some big, ripped, manly football player will be taking your hot little ass home tonight.”