Adriane Leigh - Light in Mourning

“Oh God, oh God, oh God,” she groaned as her pussy clenched my cock like a fist and tremors wracked her body. Her eyes fluttered closed as her arms gave out and she crumpled back on the counter.

“Eyes, I want your eyes when I’m inside you.” I ground my hips into her and circled them around, taking advantage of her orgasm to launch my own. My thighs clenched and my fingers dug into her soft hips as I poured myself into her. I wanted it all with her. My whole fucking future was laid at my doorstep as I revealed myself to her, opened up to her, and saw the next fifty years of our lives together. A white dress, kids, family vacations, a rocking chair on the very same deck of the house we were fucking in right now. I wanted it all and having it with anyone else other than the girl that’d just come undone underneath me wasn’t an option. I just hoped she felt it too.

“I have to go. I promise I won't see him—I have no reason to, but I have to go.” Georgia sat beside me on the newly restored porch as we sipped coffee. Spring rain was misting down around us as we watched the waves roll in. Her first renters were scheduled for this weekend and she’d busted her ass for the last few weeks to get the house in perfect condition. She’d been a nervous wreck. And I’d suspected she'd thrown herself into the rental to forget the parole hearing that was fast approaching. Oh yeah, and that fucking proposal that we hadn’t talked about since it had happened. She’d done a stellar job distracting me with her lips around my dick, but don’t think it hadn’t crossed my mind since. It might have been in the moment and impulsive, a jackass move for me since I didn’t even have a ring for her, but if she would have said yes, I would have carried her off that same day and tied her to me, body and soul, forever.

“I get you have to go, but I don’t get why I can’t go with you.” I took a sip of my coffee as my eyes stayed trained on hers.

“I have to do this by myself. You don’t understand. Kyle was always there for me, through all of this, holding my hand. He was my lifeline. I need to be my own lifeline—strong enough to face this to get over it.” Her fingers stroked my hand sweetly.

“I get it, but I don’t like it.” I sighed. “How long will you be gone?” The parole hearing was next week and now that everything with the beach rental was taken care of, she had lots of excess energy to focus on it.

“A day or two tops.”

“Can’t Silas go with you?” If I couldn’t be there, he would be the next best thing. I knew he wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

“No, and anyway, he’s busy. He and Justin are working on getting financing for the pub. Remember?”

Silas and Justin were trying to open a gastropub in downtown Wilmington. Justin had the culinary skills to feed the masses and Silas had the finances and energy to get it off the ground.

“I just don’t want you facing it alone.” I also didn’t want her running into Kyle. I knew she wouldn’t seek him out, but I didn’t trust him not to pull shit if he heard she was in town. I also hated to admit in some deep, dark part of me, I was concerned she wouldn’t be able to resist his advances and would fall back into old habits, just as she’d always done.

“I’ll be fine.” She leaned over and pecked me on the lips. She tasted like coffee and vanilla, just how she’d always tasted. That flavor had my heart racing since I’d tasted it on her lips last summer when we’d shared our first kiss. Vanilla had become synonymous with Georgia and it made me love her all the more.

Love.

I’d finally admitted it to myself. I’d been afraid to admit that before the proposal, but after, all bets were off. In my mind, anyway. I just needed to get past this parole hearing before I put us on the path to our future. Because the future was ours, our futures were forever entwined. I just had to show her that.

“Come here.” I hauled her out of her chair and plopped her in my lap. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and tucked her head into my neck. My heart skipped a few beats with her wrapped around me, just in the same way she was wrapped around my heart. If this girl left me again, she would crush me.

Completely.

“I love you.” I held her cheeks in my hands and searched her eyes for something that would tell me she felt the same way.

He’d said it. He’d finally said the words we hadn’t said to each other since my world had fallen apart last summer. He’d asked me to marry him this winter and yet we still hadn’t said those words again. It didn’t matter, because he’d settled into my heart and without saying the words, I knew I was his completely. I did love him, more than I ever thought it possible to love someone.

“I love you too,” I whispered and pressed my lips to his, molding us together in a way that took my breath away. “I love you completely.” I pulled away and held his face in mine. “And you don’t have to worry. I feel okay with this. I’ll be fine. I’m going in there, saying what I have to say, and leaving.”

“Coming back to me?” His deep green eyes swam with emotion as he searched my face.

“Only place I wanna be is right here.” I pressed my hand to his chest, directly over his heart.

“Okay.” He licked his lips as relief flooded his face. “I love you.” His easy grin returned and his eyes did that beautiful sparkling thing that never failed to have me melting at his feet.

“I told you, I love you too.” I grinned before crawling off his lap.

“Smart ass.” He smacked me on the bottom before I swung around and headed back into the house. My heart was so light, it took my breath away. I’d needed time to process the upcoming parole hearing, but Tristan had helped me by getting on with our lives. We hadn’t dwelled; he hadn’t insisted we talk about it. I spoke about it when I wanted to, but he never pushed me. He held me when I woke up from a nightmare and shushed me back to sleep. It took time, but soon they dissipated.

I also came to the decision that I was ready to seek out a therapist in Wilmington. I didn't want to fall back into that dark place, and I couldn't expect Tristan, and shouldn't have expected Kyle, to save me from it. So I scheduled an appointment after I returned from DC and then sat down to write my letter to the parole board. I’d had a few dark moments; writing that letter felt a little like reliving the entire event, but when I put the letter down, I was able to move on. I was able to forget it. It was so easy to forget everything when I was wrapped in Tristan’s arms.

The following week, I threw my purse in my car and wrapped myself around my beautiful boyfriend. I twisted my fingers in his golden-streaked hair and tried to reassure him with my lips that I would be back just as soon as the hearing was over. He’d grown increasingly anxious the week leading up to this moment, but he had to know he had nothing to fear.

“I’ll see you in a few days.” I traced the sharp angle of his jaw with the pad of my thumb. “Behave yourself.”

“Always.” He crooked a grin at me. “Charlie and I have male bonding to do.”

“Don’t forget Diva,” I pouted.

“She’ll keep us in line.”

“I’m sure she will.” I patted his cheek and then pressed my lips back to his. I didn’t want to leave him here. A huge part of my heart wanted to haul him along with me, his hand wrapped in mine every step of this horrific process, but I had to prove to myself that I could tackle this on my own. I didn’t need anyone; I was determined to come face to face with my past and conquer it.