Teresa Mummert - White Trash Damaged

There was a breeze, but the air was warm, and after being in that giant stadium packed tight with bodies, it felt good. Lizzy dug a lighter out of her front pocket, struggling with the tightness of her clothing. She flicked the lighter and held it out for me. I leaned in, cigarette in mouth, and drew in a long, deep breath. She lit hers and leaned back against the door. Smoke clouded around us as we stared off at the sea of cars.

“So, how did you and Tucker meet?”

I glanced over at Lizzy who was flicking her ashes and tugging at the knot in the front of her shirt.

“He came to a diner I used to work at.” It felt a million years in the past but also like I would wake up and be in that shitty trailer. She nodded and didn’t say anything. I think she was waiting for me to elaborate, but I didn’t even know how to continue that story. I was actually surprised she didn’t know it. Maybe Tucker didn’t want to think about me while I was gone.

“You in love?” She glanced over at me, judging my reaction to her question.

“Yeah.” I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t need to. No matter how torn I was about wanting to stay away from Tucker, I knew without a doubt that it was because I loved him.

She smiled and flicked at her cigarette again.

“You love Terry?” I barely knew him, but I still felt like someone should look out for him. Play the protective big sister.

Lizzy shrugged and flicked the butt of her cigarette out onto the blacktop.

“I’m here until he gets tired of me and trades me in for someone else. Come on. The guys are going to be done soon.” She winked and looped her arm in mine. I flicked my cigarette and let her drag me through the giant metal door.

THE AFTER-PARTY WAS in full effect. The back hallway maze was filled with fans. The room that held the snack table was now just a sea of bodies. Alcohol was flowing from every direction, and I gripped Tucker’s hand to keep from getting lost in the crowd.

“Stay with Lizzy. I’m going to get us a drink.” Tucker spoke loudly into my ear as the guitarist from Filth began strumming a tune. I nodded and smiled over at Lizzy who was making out with Terry and had no idea that I was anywhere near her. I sighed and let go of his hand, the sea of people swallowing him up the moment he took a step away from me. I spotted Eric sitting on the back of a sofa, sipping a bottle of beer. I smiled as his eyes met mine, happy to see a familiar face. I made my way closer to him, wondering why he looked so pissed off.

He nodded his head as I approached, taking another drink.

“Hey,” I said lamely as I turned to look over the crowd.

“Hey. Where’s Tucker?”

I glanced around but couldn’t spot him.

“He went to get us some drinks.” I tucked my hair behind my ear as I stood on my toes to see better.

“Hmm . . .”

“What?” I turned. He shook his head and pointed with the neck of his bottle to a table set up along the far wall, lined with drinks of every variety. Tucker was nowhere in sight. I pulled my eyebrows together as I searched again, wondering where he’d gone, feeling an inexplicable sense of jealousy knot in the pit of my stomach.

Suddenly, two arms wrapped around my body, pulling me back into him. The smell of coconut mixed with beer filled the air around me. He held a bottle out in front of my face as he kissed my neck.

“Have you been smoking?” he asked as he turned me around to face him.

“Where were you?” I asked.

“Bathroom down the hall,” he replied. I glanced back at the spot on the couch where Eric had been sitting, but it was now empty.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head, feeling like an idiot. His free hand slid onto my hip bone and pulled my body back against his. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back onto his shoulder. His fingers scrunched the fabric of my dress as his hips slowly began to move with the music from the guitar, grinding into my backside. His breath blew across my neck as his lips hovered dangerously close to my skin. I knew I wasn’t ready to take things further with Tucker, but my mind and my body had two very different ways of thinking. I pushed back against him and he hissed between his teeth.

“God, I missed you.” His lips finally kissed their way up my neck toward my ear. I swallowed hard, not wanting to push him away. My mind was spinning as his fingers splayed over my stomach, and my body tensed involuntarily as I thought of the baby we’d lost. His lips pulled back from me and his forehead rested against the side of my head as he tried to get his breathing under control.

“I’m sorry.” He tightened his grip around my waist and hugged me from behind.

“Don’t be. You didn’t do anything wrong,” I tried to reassure him.

“Get a room.” Chris laughed and both of our heads shot up to see him smiling at us.

“Hey, man,” Tucker said as he released me and came to stand beside me.

I took a long drink from my beer and tried to calm my emotions.

“Where’s Terry?” Tucker asked.

Chris glanced around the room before spotting Lizzy and Terry making out like high schoolers in the corner.

“He’s professing his love to his groupie.” Chris rolled his eyes and laughed, but he didn’t seem very happy.

“She seems nice.” I always had to put my two cents in.

“She would fuck him over in a second. I guarantee it.” He pushed his dark hair back from his face.

“Maybe you’re jealous,” Tucker jabbed. Chris exaggerated his shocked expression.

“Of that? Hell no, man. I am not the marrying kind.” He winked at me and grinned from ear to ear as he took a drink. “Why pick one when I can have a different one every night?” He gestured to the sea of women around him. I made a gagging sound and rolled my eyes, causing Chris to laugh even harder.

“Maybe you just haven’t met the right one,” I added, glancing at Tucker and feeling my cheeks blush.

“I am having too much fun with all the wrong ones.” He glanced back over his shoulder at his brother before sighing. “I miss my brother, though. I haven’t had a moment alone with him since Lizzy showed up.” Tucker patted Chris on the shoulder.

“Let’s get you another drink.” Tucker linked his fingers with mine, and we made our way over to the table that was loaded with alcohol. The guys poured some shots and clinked their glasses together before downing the harsh liquid. I declined on the hard stuff but opted for another beer, feeling myself finally begin to relax.

It wasn’t long before the other band members migrated to us. The guys laughed and drank, stopping to chat with an eager fan. Lizzy joined in and had to lean on Terry to even stay upright. Tucker kept a hand on me, as if he was afraid that I would vanish. I couldn’t blame him, but he didn’t need to worry. I didn’t want to be anywhere but by his side.

A girl flung herself at Chris, clinging to his side like a baby monkey. He smiled down at her, brushing her hair off her forehead in an almost sweet gesture.

“Not a chance.” He peeled her arms from his waist and turned back to the group to continue drinking.

“You are a pig!” I threw a piece of cut-up cheese at him.

“Groupies don’t have feelings.” He shot a glare over to Lizzy who sank deeper into Terry’s side.

“Don’t be a dick.” Terry’s tone was even and calm, but he was serious.

“It’s true.” Chris shrugged, grabbing a few pieces of cheese off the table and popping them into his mouth. “I can prove it.”

All eyes were on Chris as we waited for his brilliant revelation. He continued to eat and poured himself another shot, his eyes glancing up to see us all waiting patiently.