Ryan Michele - Wanting You

“One … two … three.” The cool liquid flowed down my throat; it’s fire burning its path. First one down … second one down. Slamming the glass down, I ordered one more round. I needed that liquid courage tonight.

“Let’s hit the dance floor!” Kinsley yelled above the music, and it was exactly what I wanted to do.

Deke

Watching from afar, I couldn’t keep my eyes off the voluptuous woman dancing. She could move, and she was. The swaying and grinding she was doing with Sawyer and Kinsley had caught the attention of every man in this bar. I’d bet money all their dicks were as hard as mine at the moment. But I needed to chill the hell out. I was due on stage in five minutes. But I couldn’t help but want to throw the floodlights on in this place so I could see her damn face. It was too dark in here.

“Deke, let’s go!” Braden called from the side of the stage. Tearing my eyes away from the view, I headed backstage to prep my guitar. Already there was Xavier, Maddox, and Braden.

“You ready?” I asked, strolling by.

“Yep. Let’s do this.” Xavier yelled out.

I could hear Ace’s voice coming from behind the bar. “All right ladies and gentleman, you’ve been waiting all night for them. Here is … Beyond Escape!”

On cue, we all took our places on stage: Xavier behind the mic; Maddox on drums; Braden on bass; with me behind my guitar. Tuning out Xavier and his normal, pump-up-the-crowd bullshit, I scanned our audience. No sign of the little vixen.

Playing was such a rush. I was on top of the world up here and nothing could bring me down. I played my ass off, strumming the cords to the perfect beat. Playing since I was a kid, I only got back into it about five years ago—it was my only release. That was how our band got started. We weren’t big time by any means, but we did have a following.

Something shiny caught the corner of my eye, and turning, I see Sawyer, Kinsley, and the other woman dancing for us. The woman who I don’t recognize was wearing a top that sparkled in the lights; it was also tight as shit.

She was shaking her ass and her tits were bouncing all over, totally giving me a raging hard-on. Her eyes were closed, but she expertly mouthed the words to the music, not uncommon when we played covers. The only difference between her and others doing this was her plump lips were begging for me.

The lights flashing in my face were making it difficult to make her out. Fuck this. I needed to see who she was. Before I took my guitar off, Xavier thanked the crowd and the lights went down.

Hopping off the stage, I was immediately swarmed by women, which happened every time we wrapped up. Pushing the bitches off, I headed directly to the three women I wanted to talk to. Her fucking back was to me again.

“Hey, like the show?” My breathing was like I ran a fucking race.

Slowly, the woman turned around. Her long blonde hair draped down her arm, and fuck me she was beautiful. She had lips that I would kill to have wrapped around my dick.

Staring into her eyes, they were a beautiful blue-gray color. There was only one other person who I have ever seen with a similar eye color. The air instantly left my body as recognition hit, like bricks falling from the sky and landing on my chest. Fucking Vann .

“Vann?”

“Hey Deke. How are ya?” Her voice was exactly the same as all those years ago. Damn it. Why in the hell was she back here? She couldn’t be here. Thoughts of the last five years began to pull me in. I needed to get a grip. There was no way she was sucking me in. No fucking way.

Without another word, I did what I’d wanted to do for the last five years. Reaching my hand behind her head, I pulled her to me. Our bodies flush, Vann’s eyes were glazing over, and I knew she was affected. Good .

My lips slammed down on to hers—taking everything I possibly could out of her in that moment. She was hesitant, her lips not immediately joining in, but fuck that. I kept at it until she melted into me, clutching my shirt as if she needed an anchor to hold her in place.

I just kept pulling from her. I wanted to suck five years of missed kisses, time, and everything I lost the day she left, out of her. The kiss wasn’t sensual or loving. I was brutal, demanding, and I couldn’t help the anger that spilled from me.

I needed to get this out of the way. Pulling back, I looked into Vann’s slowly opening eyes, and said, “Goodbye Vann.” I then walked straight to my office, slamming and locking the door.

“FUCK!” I wanted to punch something, beat the shit out of something. Now . Why the hell did she come back here after all these fucking years? Why? There was no need for her to be here. And in my bar, no less.

A sudden banging on the door pulled my attention from my internal meltdown.

“Go the fuck away!” I yelled at the door.

“Deke, it’s Z. Let me in.”

“No,” I growled.

“What the fuck, dude?”

“Go get some ass. Leave me alone,” I barked.

“Let me the fuck in.” His voice was now irritated.

Stomping to the door, I threw it open. “What? And you’re not coming in.”

“What the hell happened out there? That chick you kissed left in tears.” A flash of sadness went through me, but I instantly shook it off. Fuck her, she deserved to cry.

I stared at him. “That was Vann, Z.”

“Oh. Shit.” The instant recognition in Z’s face showed me he knew who I meant.

“Yeah. Oh shit . Go away before I pound your fucking head in.”

“I need a drink.” Z turned and left me to myself.

“Me too,” I muttered to no one, slamming the door. Rummaging through my drawers, I found a bottle of tequila and began to drink … and drink … and drink. Fuck it.

The last time I saw Vann, we had sex by the docks. She was the only person I could talk to about the tangled mess that was my life. The next day, I get a fucking Dear John letter about how her mom was making her leave and how she was ‘so sorry.’ Fuck that. She had a choice.

Her Grams lived here this entire time. There was no fucking reason she couldn’t have stayed with her. She didn’t even like her mother, but yet went along with her and left me the fuck here. Alone.

Fuck Her. I slugged back more tequila in an attempt to clear my mind of Vann.

Waking up, my eyes felt heavy, and it was difficult to open them. I knew it had to be from the load of tears I’d shed the night before. The memories from the previous night flooded me, and the tears began to fall again.

Deke had kissed me goodbye. The significance of this was more than I could bear. He didn’t get to five years ago, and this was his way of finally shutting the door. I should have known he’d be pissed. I just didn’t expect to see him this hurt.

The first six months living with Aunt Tennie in California were terrible. I couldn’t eat or sleep, and I had no friends. No one. I was totally alone. My mom and aunt were either drunk or high and did nothing except occasionally give me money to get food because they had the munchies. I kept thinking it would get better, but I was dead wrong.

I missed Deke and my friends, but my mom kept telling me Deke would have moved on soon after we left and crying over some man was pathetic. A guy like him wouldn’t wait around.

I called Sawyer and Kinsley constantly, but my calls to Deke were never returned. I didn’t give up, but nothing ever came from any of my efforts. I was beyond hurt he didn’t answer—I was crushed. I just assumed my mom was right—I never meant anything to him.

His reaction to me last night was not what I had expected. When I thought about it, I didn’t know what I expected. I knew I wanted him back in my life, but his dismissal at Sully’s showed me exactly where I rated in his eyes.