N. Walters - Craving Candy

Physically, she ached for several days from the unusual sexual activity. Each twinge was a reminder of the mind-blowing sexual experience she’d shared with Lucas. Every night, she soaked in a tub of hot water, trying to rid herself of each muscle ache and the memory that went with it. Eventually the physical discomfort disappeared, but she feared that the memories never would.

Candy knew that she looked a wreck. She wasn’t sleeping and food didn’t interest her at all. Mostly, she concentrated on just getting through each day with the hope that tomorrow would be easier. She jumped every time the phone rang, her heart pounding hopefully in her chest. But Lucas never called her.

For the first time since she received the phone call from Barbara Bates, she was seriously considering interviewing for the job in New York City. Maybe she really did need to admit that whatever relationship she had been building with Lucas was over and it was time to move on.

She knew that Missy was worried about her, but Candy wasn’t ready to talk about what had happened with Lucas. She’d probably never be ready for that. She’d just told Missy that it was over between her and Lucas and thankfully her friend had let it go for now.

Today was day four, but it wasn’t getting any easier. Her experience with Lucas had changed her forever. There was no going back to the woman she’d been before she’d met him. That cold, unforgiving, work-driven woman had disappeared forever. In her place was a woman who understood what it was to love deeply and lose. A woman who understood that people weren’t perfect and that sometimes you wished you could change your past.

The phone rang and this time there was no surge of hope or expectation. At least she was making progress, she thought as she reached for her phone. “Candy Logan’s office.”

“Hi, Candy.”

Candy closed her eyes and placed a hand on her jittery stomach. This was something else she’d been avoiding, but the time had obviously come to deal with this as well. Taking a calming breath, she cleared her voice. “Hi, Justin.”

“I won’t keep you long.” He paused before continuing. “I know you’re busy at work, but I wondered if you’d given any more thought to meeting with me.”

The woman she’d been several weeks ago had refused him, but today… today everything was different. Today, she knew she had to see him, if only for one last time. “Where and when would you like to meet?”

She heard his swift intake of breath and knew she’d surprised him. “How about lunch today? I can be at the diner just down from your office in half an hour.”

Obviously he didn’t want to give her time to change her mind. She glanced at her watch and decided she could take an early lunch. “That sounds great. I’ll see you then.” She gently hung up the phone, feeling good about her decision. For better or worse, Justin was her brother and she owed it to him and to herself to talk to him. Turning back to her computer, she felt a new surge of energy. She had time to finish answering her emails before she had to go and meet her brother.

“Famous last words,” she muttered as she yanked the door of the diner open and hurried inside, leaving the cold, bitter wind and sleet behind her. She’d gotten so wrapped up in her work that she was ten minutes late. She only hoped that Justin hadn’t left yet.

The door closed behind her and she was enveloped in the homey warmth of the place. The smells of coffee and spices filled the air, making her stomach growl. She glanced around the room, suddenly unsure. She hadn’t seen Justin in years. Would she even recognize him?

A man rose slowly from a booth in the far corner. Tall and broad, his straight hair hung down to his shoulders, giving him the appearance of a shaggy lion. Her legs moved of their own volition, bringing her closer to him. His nose had a bump in the center and she wondered when he’d broken it. The crooked half-smile was endearingly familiar, as was the warmth in his chocolate brown eyes.

“Justin?” Her voice was little more than a whisper, but the stranger opened his arms to her and she walked straight into them. They closed tight around her, holding her almost desperately to him. She could hear the pounding of his heart through his soft T-shirt and suddenly he was a stranger no more. Candy couldn’t begin to count how many times he’d held her like this when they were children, and the lost years suddenly dissolved and ceased to matter.

She threw her arms around him, hugging him for all the years she’d been unable to do so. When he finally pulled away, it was she who didn’t want to let go and she gripped the front of his shirt tight in her fingers as if to keep him from disappearing again. His rough hands cupped her face as he studied her. “God, you’re beautiful, Candy.”

She could feel the blush stealing up her cheeks and ducked her head. “Thank you.” She forced herself to release the death grip she had on his shirt and step back. “You’re still as handsome as ever.” And he was, in a rough way. Not classically beautiful, but he’d certainly catch any woman’s eye.

Justin laughed and ushered her into her seat before sliding into the one across from her. “Thanks for seeing me. I know this wasn’t easy for you.”

“No, it wasn’t, but it should have been.” Taking her time, she unzipped her coat and slid it off, laying it across the back of her chair. She tucked her purse down by her side and straightened her suit jacket before facing him again. “You don’t need to tell me where you’ve been or what you’ve done. Just tell me what you plan to do.”

Justin studied her for a long moment. He opened his mouth to speak, but the waitress interrupted them. They hurriedly gave their orders for the soup and sandwich special as the waitress poured them each a cup of coffee. When she was gone, Justin picked up where he’d left off. “What happened, Candy? You seem different from the first time I talked to you.”

Candy fiddled with her napkin and sighed. “I am different. I was just angry with you when you first called. Then I did a lot of thinking and faced a lot of things about myself. And it wasn’t pretty.” She tried to smile as she met her brother’s worried gaze. “I guess you can say I finally grew up and stopped blaming everyone for not being perfect.”

Her brother reached across the table and caught her hand in his. “I don’t blame you for being angry. You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t hurt by what happened. You didn’t have an easy life and I didn’t make it any easier.” The sorrow in his eyes was replaced by admiration as he continued. “But you’ve grown into a heck of a woman. Mom told me a lot about your job and also about all you’ve done for her. You should be proud of yourself.”

His honest, straightforward praise helped undo the knot in her stomach and made her sit up a little straighter. “Thank you, Justin.” She gave his fingers a squeeze. “Now tell me about yourself. Whatever you want. You don’t have to tell me about your past unless you want to.”

Justin released her hand and took a sip of coffee. When he put the mug back on the table, he kept his large hands wrapped around it. “I was in prison, but it’s not exactly what you think.”

Her stomach clenched but she forced herself to relax. “Tell me.”

He seemed uncomfortable, his gaze always scanning the room as if he were looking for something. Watching. Whatever he’d done and wherever he’d been, his life obviously hadn’t been easy. For the first time, she felt no resentment toward her brother. Maybe because, for the first time, she wasn’t thinking only about how his actions affected her. For once, she was thinking about him.

“I ran with a wild crowd back then, but you know that.”