N. Walters: Jackson’s Jewel

“I do.” There was a certainty to Topaz’s words that had Emerald raising an eyebrow in question. “I saw him one night. I’d already left the hospital, but I’d forgotten my sweater and went back for it. The door was slightly opened and I peeked in just in case one of the doctors or nurses was with you. He was standing there watching you sleep.”

“I never knew he was there.” Emerald was shocked. As far as she’d known, Jackson had left the next morning and not returned to the hospital. He’d never told her any differently.

“I think that was the point,” Topaz pointed out. “The way he looked at you…” Her sister’s voice trailed off. She cleared her throat and continued. “I didn’t say anything sooner because I didn’t want to interfere. I kept hoping one or both of you would come to your senses.” Topaz arched her brow and Emerald felt her cheeks heating at the implication. “Let’s just say that if that man doesn’t love you, he should be making movies because he’s a damn fine actor.” Topaz grinned at both of them. “And he’s hot too, if you go for the rough and rugged type.”

All of them laughed. It was well known that Topaz only dated Wall Street, three-piece Italian suit kind of men. Topaz glanced away as if embarrassed. Emerald squeezed her sister’s hand tight. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

“You’re welcome.” When she faced them again, all signs of embarrassment and discomfort were gone and Topaz appeared to be back to normal. “The thing I want to know is, what are you going to do about it? You going to just give him up without a fight?”

That’s what she’d done. It occurred to her that she was as bad as Jackson, hiding from her love for him to keep from being hurt. She should have sat him down and laid all her cards on the table. Her old life no longer suited her and it was time for a change one way or another.

Determination filled her as she grabbed an éclair and took a big bite. She hadn’t eaten much the past few weeks, her appetite nonexistent. It was suddenly back with a vengeance and she was starving. As she chewed she realized she’d already been thinking about making a big change. If her relationship with Jackson didn’t work out, she was still going to go ahead with her plans.

One way or another the time had come.

Wiping her sticky hands on a napkin, she took a sip of her drink and laid the cup on the table. “I’ve got a plan.”

Jackson glared at his sister. “I’m fine.”

“You certainly seem fine. You’ve been like a bear with a sore paw ever since Emerald left.” Erin crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her right foot on the floor.

Jackson didn’t know whether to be angry, amused or totally exasperated. His family had barely given him a moment’s peace since Emerald had left. His chest tightened and he swallowed back the ache that always accompanied thoughts of her. Jackson took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face. “Look, I know I’ve been a bit tense, but the bulk of the harvest is in, the barn is being rebuilt and everything is going back to normal.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” His sister was too perceptive for comfort.

“That’s the way it has to be.” His voice was flat, leaving no room for further discussion.

She looked as if she might say more, but thankfully left it at that. Coming up to him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight. He could feel the slight bulge of her tummy against him, reminding him that at least part of his family was happy. “I’m making fried chicken for supper. There’s plenty if you want to drop by.” Pushing away, she smiled at him. “I promise we won’t lecture or ask questions. I’m just worried about you.”

He felt like an ungrateful wretch. “I know.” Leaning down, he kissed her forehead. “But there is nothing to worry about and you need to be concerned about yourself and my niece or nephew.” He patted her tummy, making her laugh.

“It’s your job to worry about me and it’s mine to worry about you.” She headed for the door. “If you don’t show up for supper, I’ll bring you some leftovers tomorrow.”

“Good deal.” He walked out to the porch and leaned against the railing, watching as she climbed in her truck and left. It was closing in on the end of September and Emerald had been gone for more than three weeks. The harvest was in full swing, with the bulk of it done. He was on the homestretch and things looked good for the farm. He owned the land as far as his eye could see. This should be the best time of his life.

Instead, there was a never-ending ache deep inside him. It had taken him a while to figure out exactly what it was. It plagued him throughout the day as he tried to work himself into exhaustion and late at night when he tried to sleep. As he lay awake in bed night after night, it had finally occurred to him that he was lonely. And not in the way he’d been when Erin and Nathan had moved out. This went straight to the very marrow of his bones.

He missed Emerald.

He missed her smile, the way she nibbled on her bottom lip when she was thinking about something. He missed talking to her, sharing small moments of his day and listening as she shared hers. He missed walking into the house in the evening and smelling supper mingling with the soft scent of her perfume. His arms ached to hold her at night and many times he rolled over in his sleep, reaching for her only to awaken when she wasn’t there.

He loved her.

There was an empty hole where his heart had been. He still worked and functioned, but the joy was gone from life. She’d taken it with her when she’d driven away. Or when he’d driven her away, a voice in the back of his head reminded him. He’d wondered a million times if she would have stayed if he’d asked. But then, he’d remind himself that she needed to go back to her old life. The time they’d had together had all but been forced upon her by circumstance. Jackson needed to be sure that what she felt was real.

He’d already decided that once the harvest was done, he needed to make a trip to New York to visit the gallery that handled his photographs. He planned to call on Emerald while he was there. Maybe take her to dinner and talk.

Groaning, he buried his face in his hands. Truthfully, he wanted to swoop into New York, kidnap her and drag her back out here with him. “You’ll be lucky if she even wants to see you,” he muttered as he raised his head. Now that she was back to her old life it would be very easy for her to forget all about him.

He’d been thinking about the trip to New York since Emerald had left, but what had sealed his fate had been the arrival of his photos from the developer. He’d sent several rolls, including the ones he’d taken of Emerald that day at the pond.

When he’d first seen them it had been like being hit in the head with a two-by-four. Sexy, mischievous and all woman, she’d stared back at him. The light and shadows had played over her creamy skin, making him want to touch it. He’d spent hours looking at her heart-shaped face, dark brown eyes and curly black hair. Wet and sleek, she was like some mystical creature come to touch the mortal realm and share some of her magic.

That’s what she’d done to him. She’d touched something deep within him and he knew he’d never be the same. So no matter what happened, he knew he had to take the chance and go to New York. If he didn’t try, he’d never be able to live with himself.

Pushing away from the railing, he raised his arms over his head, his muscles bunching and straining against the seams of his T-shirt. It was time to get back to work. The quicker the harvest was completely finished, the faster he’d get to New York. He only hoped that Mother Nature cooperated.