Jillian Dodd: Adore Me

“Five-twenty?” he says, kissing my nose. “That’s very specific.”

“There’s a reason why it’s very specific, but it’s a surprise.”

He leans on my doorframe, looking like he has no intention of letting me get ready by myself. “I’m glad you got the tattoo,” he says, flipping my wrist over and looking at the four-leaf clover on it.

He says it in a dreamy way that makes me feel guilty. I’m afraid he thinks I got it just because of him. What he doesn’t know is that it’s about so much more.

“I like it too. I’m glad you talked me into it. Now you have to go.”

“I want to watch you get ready,” he says. And the way he says it touches my heart. It’s like somehow he instinctively knows this is our last night together.

“Please, Aiden. I haven’t really fixed my hair or done my makeup all week and I want to look nice on our last night here.”

He kisses me and says, “Your wish is my command.”

I get ready, doing my hair up in big curls, teasing the crown a little, and applying more eye makeup than normal. I even added a glittery gold powder across the tops of my lids that I hope will glimmer in the moonlight.

At 5:20 on the dot, Aiden knocks on my door.

As soon as I open the door, he takes in my dramatic shimmering orange silk ruffled dress and says, “Wow. You look gorgeous.”

“Thanks, but come on. We have to hurry,” I say, dragging him down to the beach.

I watch his face as he sees the table set up for two in the sand, tiki torches blazing around it.

“Is all this for us?”

“Yes, we’re going to have some wine, watch the sunset, and then have dinner here in the moonlight.”

“We are supposed to watch a million sunsets together,” he says adorably.

I look at the sun moving down the horizon and listen to the waves crash.

I have to tell him tonight.

Just not now.

I pour us each a glass of wine and ask, “Have you ever seen the green flash?”

“Like the super hero?”

“No, like, just as the sun goes down, right before you can’t see it anymore, sometimes, if you watch carefully, you can see a green flash. Some people say it’s a myth, but I think it’s magical.”

“So have you seen it before?”

“Yeah, but not everyone sees it.”

“We’ll both see it tonight.”

“You’re always so sure of everything.”

“Only the things that have to do with us.”

We toast to sunsets and sit and watch the sun move closer and closer to the ocean.

Look,” he says, pointing toward the horizon, “I think it’s almost time.”

He grabs my hand. And when he squeezes it, all of a sudden, I see it.

The green flash.

“Oh my gosh!” I yell.

“Did you see it too?” Aiden asks excitedly. “Was that it? I’ve never seen anything like that before. The sun literally turned green for a second. How did it do that?”

“Yes, I saw it! But I’ve never seen it do that before! It was amazing!”

“But you just said that you’ve seen it before.”

“I think I lied.”

He cocks his eyebrow at me.

“Not on purpose. I think I wanted to see it so bad that I convinced myself I did. But I didn't know I hadn’t really seen it until I just saw the real thing.”

Aiden reaches out and touches my cheek. “Kinda like the difference between loves.”

“The sunset was like loves?”

“Yeah, like, everyone falls in love at different times in their lives. And when you’re in it, you think you know what it’s like to be in love. Until you meet your true love and feel the real thing.”

I nod in understanding.

He grabs his phone out of his pocket, presses a few buttons, and reads, “It’s an optical phenomenon caused by the refraction of light . . .”

I take the phone out of his hand. “Don’t read that, Aiden. I don’t want to know if there’s a scientific reason for it,” I say as I walk over to a fake rock just above the sand line, pop it open, and connect his phone to the beach’s speaker system, turning on our twenty-nine song playlist.

“May I have this dance?”

“Yes.”

He pulls me into his arms and sways with me.

“You were pretty hot in the shower,” I tell him.

“And you wore the skimpiest bikini known to man today. No wonder I can barely control myself.”

“I did not. It’s not like I had on a thong. No one needs to see my naked ass.”

“I do,” he says with a grin as he twirls and then dips me.

“Dinner is served,” Sven tells us, setting our dinner on the table.

This one’s for you.

10:30pm

We’re all in the hot tub, being careful to keep our tattoos out of the water and listening to Damian entertain us with stories from his recent tour of Japan. About how he couldn’t fit his knees under the table at a fast food restaurant because the table was so small. About the ongoing pranks the band plays on each other. And even what’s up next for him.

Peyton talks about school and the things she’s looking forward to. How she’s thinking about graduating early. About how she’s not ready to go back.

Aiden tells us a few funny family stories and I tell a couple about my crazy little sisters.

Damian says, “I think we need some champagne,” just as Sven walks out onto the pool deck.

“There’s a call for you on the house line, Mr. Damian,” he says, handing him a phone.

Damian puts it up to his ear, gets a huge grin on his face, puts the phone on speaker, and says, “Holy shit, Keats! You’ve gotta hear this.”

I squint my eyes, like it will help me hear better, and lean toward the phone.

There’s all sorts of noise. Almost like it’s a concert. Is this Twisted Dreams playing at the Undertow without him?

But then I hear B’s voice yell, “You guys are never gonna believe this. Hell, I can barely believe it!”

My eyes get big and I sit up straight.

There’s a crowd that’s cheering and going crazy.

Then a booming voice announces, “And in his first ever pro tour victory, BRRRROOOKLYYYYN WRIGHT!”

There’s more cheering and then the announcer voice says, “Brooklyn, tell us how you’re feeling!”

B’s voice gets even louder, like he’s using a microphone now. “I’d like to thank my dad, my sponsors, and the great fans here in Oahu that came out to support us, but I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for one special girl.” His voice gets quieter, almost like he’s speaking just to me. “Keats, you told me to follow my dreams wherever they took me and even though you're not here with me, know I wouldn't be here without you. I love you, Keats.” Then he yells, “Here’s to causing a little chaos!”

The crowd goes crazy and the call disconnects.

Oh my gosh. He did it!

He won!

Happy tears stream down my face.

Then it suddenly dawns on me that I’m not the only one who just heard what B said.

Seeing the hurt look on Aiden’s face causes me to quickly jump out of the hot tub, saying, “Uh, I need a minute.”

Then I run down to the beach and cry.

I cry for everything I'm missing out on.

And because Aiden just heard B say he loves me.

I cry for all the hurt I’m causing everyone.

Maybe I should just walk out into the ocean and never come back.

Damian plops down in the sand next to me. “I’m an idiot. I got excited and put it on speaker, not even thinking about Aiden. I hope I didn’t screw things up for you.”

“It’s okay, Damian. I’m not mad.”

“For what it’s worth, I get it now. You’re stuck. You can't go forward and you can't go back. You’re like a hamster on a wheel, spinning and spinning but going nowhere.”

I sniffle and wipe the haze of tears from my face. “Exactly.”