Megan Smith - Hard To Love You

Later that night, while I am getting ready, Kenzie sends me a picture of Ryder in his little swimming trunks that I bought for him, with his matching sandals and sunglasses. That little guy is going to be a heartbreaker when he gets older. I miss him and I really need to go over there and spend some time with him soon. Without knowing Mason’s schedule I’m afraid of running into him so I’ve been staying away.

I toss my phone on my bed and go back to getting ready. I’ll get my Ryder fix this weekend at the wedding. I told Kenz and Hunter that Ryder had a date and to not fix him up with anyone. They both looked at me like I was crazy but I’m not. I am going to have Ryder for a few days while they’re off on their honeymoon and then when I go back to work on Tuesday I’ll drop him off with MacKenzie’s mom.

The doorbell sounds and I take a deep breath before I grab my purse and go downstairs for my first date, post Mason. Here’s hoping that tonight is a success and I’ll have someone with me at the wedding that can run interference with Mason.

Cole’s eyes widen when I open the door, and I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I wasn’t exactly sure what to wear so I went with my black skinny jeans, sheer silver tank with lace and sequins and my silver peep toe heels. I added my black diamond earrings that Mason bought me for Christmas and my black and silver bangles. I’ve thrown my hair up into a messy bun and pulled some wispy curls out to frame my face.

Cole rakes his eyes from head to toe and then ever so slowly back up to my lips. He takes a step forward; he can’t be trying to kiss me already! We haven’t even been on the date yet. What if we have horrible chemistry? As he takes another step closer I suck in a breath and ready myself to call off this whole thing. He looks first at me and then at my lips and smirks while taking the final step forward until we are almost touching.

Then, ever so slowly, he shifts slightly to the right and places a kiss on my cheek. Hmm … I’ve never had that done before. Granted, Mason has kissed me on the cheek, forehead, pretty much everywhere, but I’ve never had this happen. I’m a little stunned.

“You look beautiful.” Cole whispers before taking a step back.

I let out the breath that I am holding, begging my heart rate to turn back to normal before Cole hears it. Just a kiss on the cheek and I’m panting like a little girl who just got her first kiss.

I take another step back from him in an attempt to get my bearings about me. Cole looks hot, like really hot. He has on a black t-shirt, with a band that I don’t recognize, that fits like the shirt he was wearing earlier, tight in all the right places, paired with a pair of dark jeans and Nikes. He has a fitted black hat, flipped backwards instead of sporting his mohawk. How is it that he doesn’t have a girlfriend? Before I even realized it I am asking him out loud.

He laughs and shakes his head, “They’re too much trouble.”

I wasn’t expecting that answer.

“Seriously?”

Red flag!

I step out of the house, then turn to shut and lock the door. Cole answers, “Seriously. I don’t have time and I don’t want some girl just hanging around waiting for me. I’m not sure where the band is going right now and it wouldn’t be fair to her. I’ve had my fair share of girls and I’ve seen what that situation can do to someone. I don’t want that for anyone else. But, when I do find a girl I really like, I’ll stay with her. I won’t go off looking for my bed mate like some of the other guys in the band.”

I study him for a moment. Who is this guy? Cole is perfect, almost too perfect.

He must be a damn mind reader. “Don’t do that. I’m not perfect by any means. I’ve lost my best friend and I’ll never do that to myself again.”

I raise my eyebrows in surprise, “Are you a mind reader or something? I think I should know ahead of time if you are. It’s only fair.”

He throws his head back and laughs, the emotions of that pending conversation successfully diverted. I’m not ready to air my dirty laundry just yet.

His phone starts ringing and he quickly digs it out of his pocket and answers, “Yo,”

He motions his head towards the car and I follow. I am a little taken back when I see his black Dodge Charger sitting in my driveway. I don’t know what I was expecting him to drive, but it wasn’t this.

He smiles when he opens the door for me, “I’ll be there in ten minutes, relax. And tell the guys to act right; I’m bringing someone with me.”

He sighs loudly as he shuts the door and officially closes me out of the conversation as he walks around and climbs in his side. “Sorry about that. The guys are a bunch of assholes sometimes. I’ll apologize in advance for them.”

“It’s no problem; I’ve got experience dealing with assholes. If you’ve met Mason, you’d know exactly what I was talking about.” I ramble on.

“Mason?” Cole questions.

Damn, I hadn’t meant to bring him up. “Yeah, Mason is the ex.”

He cringes, “You don’t happen to mean Mason Cahill do you?”

I nod and Cole curses under his breath. I rest my head against the headrest and close my eyes before I speak, “It’s ok if you don’t want me to go with you. I’d understand.”

“No. No, that’s not it at all.” I open my eyes and look over at Cole as he starts backing out of my driveway. “No offense or anything but from what I’ve heard around town, it didn’t sound like he had a girlfriend.”

My stomach clenches. No, of course it wouldn’t, because Mason is a flirt and totally full of himself.

Cole curses again, “Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. You seem like a great girl and I’m not really sure what the hell you’re doing with a guy like that but I’m sure there is a reason.”

Yeah, he’s the love of my life and the one who crushed my heart.

“Let’s not talk about our pasts, ok? It’s a bit touchy and I don’t want to think about that tonight. I just want to go out and have a great time.”

Cole smiles and says, “Deal.”

“Deal.”

He grabs my hand and we make our way to the bar. In this moment I am content with him holding my hand and not talking about our pasts. I haven’t been content in a while and I am determined to stay that way; at least for tonight. I need to find the Hailey that I used to be before someone crushed her. Someone named Mason Cahill. Yep, I’m so not thinking about him tonight.

Thankfully things work out and we have home games this week. This is good for Cooper and I, we won’t have any problems attending Hunter and MacKenzie’s wedding. It’s Wednesday night and we’ve just wrapped up another winning game, I want to go to a bar and get drunk; I need the numbness that it provides. Being home is driving me crazy because I can’t go to Hailey’s house and bury myself in her like I want to. I’ve driven past her house a few times and every time her car is there. I try to pump MacKenzie for information on her but she tells me to fuck off. I’m not surprised, they’re like sisters; but still I’m her blood, she could at least give me something. I even tried Hunter but he told me he’s not getting in the middle.

Cooper and I are renting a house near Hunter and MacKenzie since it’s pointless to spend the money to buy one when we’re barely there. It works for us, the house is a split-level, Cooper takes the lower half and I have the upper. The only thing we share is the laundry room. Jaylinn stays here when we’re on the road, just to keep things up for us and to get our mail. I’m still not really sure what is going on with them. Cooper used to bang random girls all the time, and then something changed between him and Jaylinn while we were away at school. I haven’t seen Cooper with anyone in months, that’s like a lifetime for him.