E. Blair - Falling

“I love you, too.”

I need her. The desire to have her is powerful. She looks incredible tonight, and I want her to give me another piece of her, so I make my request, saying, “Make love to me, babe.”

By the look in her eyes, I know she understands what I mean. She’s a little apprehensive every time we’ve had sex, so I have always taken the lead. But I need this from her—the certainty. I know she’d never do anything she didn’t want to, but I also know that there is a level of fear about sex with her, and I want to give the control over to her.

She nods her head, and we pull up to our knees. As my lips land on hers, I fix my hands on her hips and slowly drag them up her lace-covered body before finding the zipper and sliding it down. She begins to unbutton my shirt, grazing the tips of her fingers against my chest while she works her way down. After she removes my shirt, she adjusts her shoulders, allowing the dress to slip off of her and pool at her knees.

She hangs on to my neck when I lower her down to the mattress and then pull the dress over her legs, tossing it on the floor with the rest of our clothes. My lips trail up her legs as I nip gently on her sensitive flesh, making her sigh, but she grips the sides of my head when I start planting soft kisses along her inner thigh. She clamps her hands on me, pushing me away before my mouth can reach her panties.

Patience is hard when I want her in ways I know she isn’t ready for, but I move at her pace and allow her to lead me when she pulls my head up to her stomach. I kiss her heated skin as I start to shift her underwear down her legs. Sitting up on my knees, between her parted thighs, I run my eyes over her bare skin before she hitches her legs around my waist and pulls me down to her. But I pull back so that I can unhook my pants and kick them off.

Before I return to her, I slip on a condom and then reach around her back, shifting her on top of my lap as I sit with my legs in front of me. With her straddling me, I unhook her bra, slipping it down her arms. She rests her hands on my shoulders, staring into my eyes, when I move my hands to her hips. Lifting up on her knees, I reach down and help guide myself inside of her as she lowers herself on top of me.

Her head falls onto the curve of my neck when she slides over me slowly, and I let my head drop against her as pleasure radiates through my body. Her frame is so small, and she’s so tight around me. My arms slide around her waist, and I hold on to her tightly when she finally lifts her head and looks into my eyes, foreheads pressed together. She rises up and takes her time as her body slowly falls back down over me.

“God, I love you,” I breathe out.

Our bodies are pressed together, her arms wrapped around my neck, my head dropped to her chest. I needed her to give this to me, and hearing the soft moans coming out of her, I know I’m gonna need her like this again and again. Watching her take this pleasure from me is intoxicating as I begin to lose myself in her. The way she’s moving, the way her skin smells with the light scent of her perfume, the way her hair feels as it brushes along the skin of my arms—it’s a heady combination of elements that consumes my senses, but I still crave more.

Kissing her breasts, enjoying the feel of her soft skin against my lips, her body shudders as she rocks her hips into me. She’s clinging tightly to me, and I can hear her unsteady breathing picking up. I’m able to read her body after all the times we’ve been together, so when her thighs tighten on me and her body grows more rigid, I know she’s getting close, and knowing that she’s giving herself this makes it all the better for me.

“Look at me, baby. I want to watch you come,” I tell her as she leans her damp forehead against mine and opens her eyes.

She grips my hair in her hands, and I begin to feel her pulse around me.

“God, Candace,” I moan, unable to hold on anymore, and she’s right here with me as she rides out her pleasure, all the while giving me an intense release. Heat explodes throughout my body as she continues to move over me. I run my hand up her back and catch the sweat rolling down her spine. She lets go of a heavy breath, laced with a whimper, as she draws out the last of her orgasm with me.

My heart is pounding, and I can barely keep myself upright, so I hold her close and lie us down. Candace brushes the hair off of my forehead, and when she does, I tell her, “‘I love you’ will never be enough for what I feel for you.”

She smiles, planting her lips on mine, and I keep myself inside of her as I pull the sheets over us and band my arms around her. This is the part I love. Having her completely content in my arms. Eyes closed and peaceful.

Candace scares me out of a deep sleep when she violently thrashes up, gasping for air. Her breaths hit hard as she fists the sheets, knuckles white, completely shaken.

“Babe, are you okay?” I ask as I pull the sheet up to cover her bare chest, knowing how modest she is. She clutches the sheet and begins to cry as she brings her knees up to her chest.

“Baby, it’s just us,” I assure as I pull her into my arms.

She’s tucked in a ball as I move her between my legs and cuddle her against my chest. She hasn’t scared me like this in a while, and I can tell that she’s completely overwhelmed right now, so I keep her close, stroking her back as I soothe her.

“I’m sorry,” she mutters when her cries weaken.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

Taking in a deep breath, she lets it out slowly while I ask again, “Are you okay?”

She nods her head and sits up in my arms as I run my fingers under her eyes.

“I forgot to take my pill,” she says to me.

“Shit, babe. I’m sorry,” I tell her, feeling guilty that I didn’t ask her before we fell sleep. I brought her home and never gave her a moment before we made love and went to bed.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Where are they?”

“In my purse, but it’s too late to take it now,” she says, and when I grab my phone and touch the screen, it reads a quarter past three.

She’s right. If she took her pill now, she’d sleep most of the day.

“What do you wanna do?” I ask.

“Nothing. It’s fine,” she tries telling me, but I know it isn’t. I remember her last nightmare, and I worry if she falls asleep that it could happen again. “Ryan, I promise,” she says, sensing my concern. “Let’s go back to sleep.”

I lay her down, but keep her tucked into me and wrap my body around her from behind. We spend the rest of the night in a state of restless sleep because she continues to toss and turn, and I find myself awake and watching her as she drifts in and out.

When we arrive at my mom’s the following day, it’s late, and Candace is overly exhausted with a bad headache, so she goes to bed early while my mom and I stay up visiting. By the time I wake up the next morning, Candace is already out of bed and downstairs with my mom. While drinking our coffee, Mom mentions that she has to drive out to Portland for the day to take care of few things, leaving the day open for me and Candace.

While Candace is in the shower, I check the weather report, figuring I’ll take her to Indian Beach to try and get her up on a board. When the bathroom door opens, she’s wearing nothing but a towel and leftover drops of water, and suddenly, she has my full attention.

“Fuck, babe,” I say as I walk towards her.

Holding her hand out to my chest to keep me from coming any closer, she says, “Don’t start. Your mother is downstairs.”

“I don’t care who the fuck is downstairs when the only thing covering your wet body is that towel.”