Jessica Sankiewicz - If Only We

“He’s probably out back,” Lyndsay says. “Go ahead. Ben and I can mingle with the masses.”

“I don’t want to just leave you.”

Ben waves me off. “You didn’t dress to impress me,” he says pointedly. “Go. Scoot.”

I heave a sigh and scoot to the back, as he suggested. A few of my former classmates stop me to say hello and hug. I'm almost there when Chevy bursts in through the back doorway, frowning, his eyes darting around the room. When they rest on me, his shoulders relax and he smiles. He walks over quickly. “Come with me,” he says, taking my elbow in his as he turns me around.

“Everything okay?” I ask as my heart skips a beat at his sudden closeness.

“It will be in a minute.” We walk downstairs into the basement, which looks more like a gaming room. There's a group of boys playing a football video game in front of a big-screen television. A couple of girls sit on the floor watching their boyfriends play. On the other side is a serious game of table tennis and an even more serious poker game. “Here we are,” he says, looking at a couch. He lets go of my elbow and we sit down. He glances back at the stairs. “Yes, this is much better.”

“What happened?”

He shakes his head. “I’m trying to avoid Heidi.”

Did he say what I think he said? Wait, if he's avoiding Heidi, why would he have been kissing her last time? There is only one thing different: me.

My skin tingles in delight.

“Why do you want to avoid her?” I ask.

He covers his face for a second with his hand. “She's been relentless in attempting to win me back. She told one of her friends she was going to corner me tonight. I saw her coming around the side of the house. I'll be hiding for the rest of the night.”

I frown. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I brought this on myself for even dating her to begin with.” He sighs and shakes his head. “Moving on. So, tell me…what's up with the nursing?”

How do I explain this without sounding crazy? “I've spent all my life working toward that goal. It's like a trophy my mom placed on a pedestal. It has been sitting there all these years, waiting for me to pick it up. Now that I'm standing right in front of it I feel...overwhelmed. I don't know if it's the obligation or if it's me.”

“And that scares you, doesn’t it?”

“Definitely.”

He stares at the wall for a second, thoughtful, then brings his attention back to me. “Let me ask you this: If nursing wasn’t on the table, what else do you think you would want to do?”

I blink a couple times. I have never been asked what I want, nor have I thought about it. “Um...well…” I look down at my hands. “I’m not sure. I never imagined doing anything else. I was never allowed to imagine doing anything else. I just did what was expected and left it at that.”

“I see. How does your dad feel?”

“He never objected to it. Then again, he never promoted it either.” The whole time I stayed with him, he didn’t mention nursing. “Maybe he wanted me to think about what else was out there. If that were the case, it would've been nice if he would have just said so. Maybe he was afraid of upsetting my mom.” That would make two of us then.

Chevy leans forward. “Here’s what I think. You need to determine what it is you want out of life. I got lucky that the career my dad has is something I enjoy doing too. You need to figure out what you enjoy and find a career to suit who you are, whether it is what your mom wants or not.”

I sigh. “I know you’re right, but I don’t want to disappoint my mom.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for you to disappoint her.”

I smile and chuckle. “Easy for you to say.” Looking him in the eye, I say, “Thanks. I appreciate the advice.”

“Anytime.” He points a finger at me. “Just remember what this means.”

“And what’s that?” I ask, tilting my head with a smile.

“Next time it will be my turn.” He takes a swig from his drink. In the middle of his sip, his eye catches something that makes him stop. “Uh-oh.”

I turn my head to find Heidi standing at the bottom of the stairs. Her bleach-blonde hair matches the hot pink bikini top over her white short shorts. I remember the nice sandy blonde color she used to have at the beginning of high school. She was actually a very sweet girl growing up. Then she started to hang with the cheerleading girls and everything changed.

I frown. Why did she have to come down here? Before either of us can hide, she spots Chevy and begins to saunter over with a sway in her hips.

Chevy is obviously very bothered with her presence. He pleads in a whisper, “Please, help me get away from her.”

My heart swells with hope. “No problem.” I bite my lip. How can we get away from her? “I have an idea. Finish your drink.” I drink the rest of mine and he does likewise.

Heidi sits right next to Chevy as if she belongs there. “Hey you,” she says sweetly. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Chevy forces a smile. “Hey.”

She looks suspiciously at me. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Just stuff,” I say. “We were just about to go refill our drinks.”

She frowns dramatically. “But Chevy, I was hoping that we could, you know, talk.” She slings her arm around his shoulder.

When she uses the word “talk” it doesn't sound like she wants to just talk. She's only been here for less than a minute and this has already gone too far. Chevy wants me to save him. Time to go to Plan B.

With a deep breath, I take his hand in mine. His eyes widen. I give Heidi a sweet smile. “Actually, we were planning on heading upstairs to find a more private place to, you know, talk.” I raise my eyebrows at Chevy.

He nods with a smirk, now on the same page as me. “That’s right. Come on, Adrienne.” We stand up and walk away, still holding hands. I glance back at her just in time to catch the dirtiest look I have ever been given. I hold in a laugh.

He keeps holding my hand until we reach the kitchen. When he lets go, he wraps his arms around me and spins me around. I can’t help but giggle. “Thank you!” he says with a laugh. He places me back on my feet. “You’re a genius. Although, she may spread rumors about the two of us.”

I don’t mind. I wonder if he does. “She probably would have anyway, just seeing us talking.”

“That’s true. In any case, I owe you one big time.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. You can start with freshening my drink.” I hand over my cup.

He says, “For you, anything.” My heart flutters.

And doesn’t stop.

River’s Bend Nursing Home sits slightly off a country road just outside of town. Ornamental pear trees line the drive until you reach the parking lot. The building itself has the appearance of a house, only much larger. The evergreen bushes that surround the perimeter are trimmed weekly. Each window has a flower box filled with different types—marigolds, pansies, geraniums, or whatever is available. The place has a quaint appeal to it, making it feel more like a home than a nursing home. It is a beacon of hope for those who stay and a comfort to those who visit.

So, why am I hesitating to go inside?

My mom left a note for me on the counter by the toaster this morning. It said, “I cannot express how proud I am of you, Adrienne. Have a wonderful first day! I love you, Mom.”

I close my eyes and sigh. I want to believe what Chevy said last night, about me not being able to disappoint my mom. Considering her dramatic reaction to my choice to not do this the first time, I can’t help but doubt it. I get out of my car and walk in through the double doors.