Robin Alexander - Pitifully Ugly

actually an ectopic pregnancy in the second year I was married. I

was told it was going to be very difficult for me to conceive.”

“Hailey, I’m sorry.” I wished she had waited until we were

home to tell me, so I could take her in my arms. “I wish I would’ve

known. We would have skipped the nursery visit.”

“No.” Hailey shook her head. “If I’m going to be a part of

your life, then Kalen will be a part of mine, and I don’t want

either of you walking on eggshells around me. This is an exciting

time and I get to be a part of it, and that really makes me happy.”

I was truly excited about having a niece or nephew to spoil,

but my own pitter-patter of little feet? No thanks, unless they

were four fuzzy paws. And then a startling thought hit me. What

if Hailey did want a baby and wanted me to carry it? My palm

started to sweat on the steering wheel, and the one that Hailey

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had in her grasp was more than likely doing the same. That was

a conversation we’d save for another day, preferably after I went

through menopause.

The following morning, Kalen and I saw Mom off. We were

all teary-eyed as we said our goodbyes. Kalen promised to read

the labels closer on everything she ate and drank. Mom turned

to me. “Take care of your sister and your new girlfriend.” She

winked. “You’re right about Hailey—she is special.”

Kalen and I stood back and watched her go through security.

She looked over her shoulder and blew a kiss as she headed to her

gate. Kalen sniffed. “I wish she didn’t live so far away now.”

“When your baby arrives, they’ll be here so often that it’ll

feel like they live here.” I took her by the arm and began leading

her through the airport. “You’ll be begging for them to go back

to Florida then.”

Kalen wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Was Hailey

upset about what Zoe had to say?”

“Not after I explained to her what actually happened.” I

opened the door to the parking lot for Kalen. “Thank you for

jumping in there and defending me.”

Kalen gave me a sideways glance as she passed in front of

me. “I like her, even though I was poised not to, but she’s sweet

and seems to be very genuine.”

“Thanks, I’m glad she has your approval. Look at it this way,”

I said with a smile. “You and Toad have two babysitters now.”

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Chapter 32

Belated Valentine’s Day gifts…

Hailey’s favorite holiday is Valentine’s Day, so we decided to

have a belated celebration. Frankly, I just wanted a reason to spoil

her rotten, and this was the perfect excuse.

I sent Hailey off to work with a toe-curling kiss and warned

her to be prepared for spoiling when she got home. I’d already

bought her gift—a diamond heart necklace—but Fuzzy and I had

preparations to make. We went up to my apartment and gathered

all the stuff that I’d been collecting. She was no help with the

carrying, and I had to make two trips.

In the past week, while Hailey and I had been playing switch-

house and taking turns sleeping in both apartments, I learned some

things about her. First, she spits toothpaste all over the mirror and

faucet. I don’t know how she does it because I’ve watched her

brush, but it’s there when she finishes. She doesn’t eat leftovers.

If it’s been in the fridge for over twenty-four hours, it’s all bad.

And she has the uncanny ability to smell chocolate from at least

fifty paces, maybe even through a closed door. And that’s why I

had to hide everything in the closet of my spare bedroom.

In her apartment, I hid half-dozen four-inch solid dark

chocolate hearts that I special ordered from a bakery like I was

hiding Easter eggs. I quickly realized that I had to hide them high

because Fuzzy gleefully retrieved one and brought it to me. “This

one can be from you since you signed it with your teeth,” I told

her as I placed it on the book shelf.

Next, I arranged a dozen red roses in a vase and set them on

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her table. They’d been smelling up my closet from the day before

but still looked fresh and beautiful. I took the second dozen and

pulled off all the petals and sprinkled them across the bed. I’d

seen it in a movie and always wanted to try it. After I had them

all spread out, I realized why I’d never done it before…I’d have to

clean them up later.

Fuzzy jumped up in the middle of the bed and rolled in them

with a look of complete joy as her tongue lolled out of her mouth.

“Get down! Oh, you’re ruining it! I had a whole petal feng shui

thing going there.” I spent the next five minutes brushing them

from her fur and rearranging them into the shape of a heart, then

I locked her ass out of the bedroom.

After I’d put Hailey’s necklace into a gift bag and filled it

with confetti hearts, I was ready to go back upstairs and work.

Fuzzy the destroyer went with me and spent most of her time in

front of my TV watching music videos. I sat at my desk and tried

to focus, but my mind kept wandering back to Hailey and the

night we’d spend. I’d just begun to make sense of the numbers

when I heard a knock on the door. Kevin stood in the hall with a

huge bouquet of flowers.

“Oh, Kevin, you shouldn’t have. I’m spoken for.”

“I wouldn’t have,” he said as he handed them to me.

“Something this size had to have cost a fortune.”

I closed the door thinking that was probably why Kevin was

still single. He was right, though, the arrangement was huge and

filled with roses, lilies, and brightly colored flowers. The card

written in Hailey’s own hand was sweet. You’re the reason I’ve

looked forward to this day. H.

I sent her a text message saying that some woman named

‘H’ sent me flowers, and she had some competition. Give me her

address was the reply.

An hour later, I was chugging along on the Rampart store

monthly audit, and there was another knock at the door. This time,

Kevin stood in the hall with a balloon bouquet. Giant red hearts

floated around his head. “These are cheaper. Are they from you?”

I asked, batting my eyes.

I could tell he wanted to grin. Instead, he said, “no,” as he

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handed them to me. The card was again inscribed with Hailey’s

handwriting— I wish I were there with you. H.

I sent another text message telling Hailey that Ms. H had

struck again, this time with balloons. She replied, Wait till you

see what I got you, you’ll throw rocks at Ms. H.

I laughed aloud when I heard a knock an hour later. Kevin

wasn’t laughing when he handed me a cookie bouquet filled

with heart-shaped cookies and candies. “Let me tip you for your

trouble.” I handed him one of the larger cookies.

“Thanks,” he said as he retreated down the hall.

Hailey, it’s over. Ms. H has seduced me with cookies.

Her reply— Damn, you’re easy.

I wasn’t surprised when an hour later there was another knock.

“Kevin, now stop it, you’re just being ridiculous.” He rolled his

eyes as he handed me the gift basket. Hailey had been to Bath &

Body Works. The basket was filled with all the stuff I loved. The